IRL Cooking! post your recipes

[atamusvaleo]

Chouriço & Peppers
If you can, get Gaspara's chouriço. 
It's spicy and delicious.

Ingredients
1lb of chouriço (you can substitute linguisa but it will be less spicy) [don't pronounce it sure-e-ko, it's sure-eese]
1 can of tomato paste (6oz)
1/2 small green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 bottle of inexpensive, sweet white wine (a reisling is usually good for this)
1/2 large yellow onion

Directions
1. Heat the chouriço (sure-eese) in a large frying pan on low-medium to medium heat on your stove top (a little butter is all you'll need to grease the pan). If you have never cooked chouriço before, it's cooked when it turns a deep red color as opposed to the light red, when raw. Make sure that pan is big because we're going to add quite a bit to this.

2. While the chouriço is heating up (be sure to stir it every-so-often) chop the vegetables and have them at the ready.

3. The chouriço should now be filling your home with its wonderful aroma. Once it's close to fully cooked, stir in the vegetables.

4. If you didn't drink it all yet, add some white wine to the mix. Add to taste but be sure it's less than a cup. You shouldn't be tasting only wine when you eat this. The wine will boil off leaving behind the acidity and sweetness. Mmmmm.

5. Add the tomato paste to get a nice, thick sauce. Turn the heat off and let it all simmer for a bit.

6. Serve it with some hearty bread and some cheddar.

7. ENJOY!

[babayetu83]

im in dire need of a fried chicken recipe

[atamusvaleo]

im in dire need of a fried chicken recipe

I gotcha covered. I'm heading home from work shortly and I'll take a look at the exact names of the ingredients I use and add the recipe to an edit of this post.

My wife loves basil and has a hatred of gluten. So, I make this little meal for us on nights that I'm feeling lazy:

[RECIPE INBOUND]

[CaptainBravo]

mmm food. i like making homemade steak tips and fries

you need:
stovetop
fryer
tongs(i use a spatula but use tongs unless you're the flipmaster)
beef for stew meat(1 lb/person, it'll be marked like this in the meat section and they don't sell it in smaller amounts so i hope you're hungry)
butter(1 stick for every lb. of beef)
oil(canola preferred for both fries and frying pan)
onion powder
garlic powder
rosemary
thyme
garlic cloves(amount to preference)
marinade(i use Claude's Beef Brisket Marinade, damn good)
potatoes(as many as your group will finish)
shredded cheese(cheddar)
salt(use bigger crystals)

to start, get a bowl(two if you're doing more than one lb., and double up on frying pans too) and dump your beef in there with some marinade. coat the top with the onion powder and garlic powder(more onion, less garlic) and then work it in there real good. you are going to eyeball this entire cooking process because it's not science, it's just a delicious heart attack. wash your dirty hands, cover that, and put it in the fridge or set it aside. it needs time(45 min-1 hour) to soak up the deliciousness so grab a beer, or start chopping the garlic early and then grab a beer.

for the last 20 minutes of the marinade session, start your fryer up and then peel and slice the potatoes(wash them ofc). start later if you're cooking for one, or you're just wasting a bunch of time that you could be spending drinking beer. after the fries are sliced, leave them in the strainer or whatever you washed them in and move to your stove. you're going to be doing something every few seconds from this point on so don't try to read this while cooking or you'll balls something up. oil your frying pan up just enough to coat the entire bottom, toss the stick of butter on it, and set the stove to simmer. while the butter is melting, take your bowl of marinated meat back out and toss your garlic in it(don't do this any earlier for the same reason you should go light on the garlic powder) . mix it up again so there's some on every piece, wash your hands, toss your fries in the fryer, and then go back and coat your pan(butter should melt and cover it evenly thanks to the oil) with the rosemary and thyme. you want to cover it with the thyme but be sparce with the rosemary. you can strain the bowl at this point or leave the leftover marinade in for the broil. i recommend straining if you're going to be marathoning several pounds of beef because the marinade and stray bits of beef will eat through the coat of oil and start smoking if you go for more than one batch.

while you're broiling the meat watch the blood that rises to the top side. when it starts to form droplets, flip the pieces over and let them sit until it happens for that side, too. don't leave them on any longer than 30-45 seconds after the second time you flip. rotate your batches of fries while you're tending the meat and coat them with your preferred salt/seasoning and shredded cheese in either order as you set each batch aside. ideally this will all mete out so that the last fries come off right after the last bit of beef and you can just dig right in.

you will die young but who cares

[Vitatroll]

Fried chicken? As usual, my recipe is vague.

Soak chicken in buttermilk overnight (in fridge).
Melt shortening, lard or bacon fat in a cast-iron skillet. Don't heat it to smoking.
Drain chicken. Season with whatever you like. I like salt, pepper, paprika, cayenne and onion powder. You could just get one of those chicken seasoning mixes. I'd suggest something spicy - cajun or something.

...

ahh, hey! Should have just done this first. Seems like Alton Brown does his very similarly. He actually has measurements and stuff. Neat.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton...ecipe.html

---------

Here's something I used to make a lot, but there's a recipe out there so I get to be lazy.

Orange Crush Pound Cake

My mother made those while growing up. Hers was different. Didn't bother with the food dye. She also didn't bother with a mixer. Hah.

[atamusvaleo]

im in dire need of a fried chicken recipe

I gotcha covered. I'm heading home from work shortly and I'll take a look at the exact names of the ingredients I use and add the recipe to an edit of this post.

My wife loves basil and has a hatred of gluten. So, I make this little meal for us on nights that I'm feeling lazy:

I JUST WROTE OUT THE ENTIRE RECIPE AND THEN HIT CANCEL EDITS!!! AAAAHHH!!!

Fried Chicken Ingredients
1lb of Chicken Breasts
Kelloggs Corn Flake Crumbs (gluten free and they gove the chicken a great texture)
Cooking Oil (my wife is allergic to Olive Oil so I use Grapeseed Oil)
Basil
Parsley
Rosemary
Black Pepper
Paprika

Recipe
1. Start with the chicken. I have always been a fan of cooking meat in smaller portions (when you marinade, it takes less time and it's easier to portion out for multiple meals or people and it cooks faster). Cut the chicken into thin strips about 1 inch thick and 3-5 inches in length.

2. Grab a skillet or pan and over MEDIUM heat add enough oil to form a thin layer on the pan. (Too much oil and you'll end up with searing hot oil splashing up at you and this seriously hurts. Less is better because you can always just add more while it cooks and you probably will need to depending on how quickly you move in the kitchen)

3. While the oil heats up, we'll fill one bowl about halfway with the corn flake crumbs. Crack and whisk an egg in a second bowl. This is the hard part: adding herbs and spices to the crumbs. We want to add enough herbs that you're able to see and smell them throughout the mix of crumbs. (Trust your nose! Some of your sense of smell is tied into your taste buds. When you inhale, those molecules work their way down your nasal passages and onto the back of your tongue.) When it comes to adding spices, if you're unsure of how much is to your taste, the best rule of thumb is to add a little at a time, taste, then add more if needed.

4. Once that's done we'll take one strip of chicken at a time and dip it into the egg, let the excess drip off, get a nice even coating of the seasoned crumbs, and place it in the pan. Repeat until you fill the pan, leaving enough room to see the edges of the chicken against the pan.

5. We want to cook the chicken until the underside is a nice golden-brown color. Then flip with a fork and cook on the other side. (It's a good habit to cook meat with a thermometer. Chicken is fully cooked at 165°F, keeping in mind that it will continue cooking for some time after it has been removed from the pan).

6. When they've finished cooking, you can lay them on a napkin draped over a plate to soak up any excess oil, if you had a bit too much on the pan.

7. Optional Delicious Salad: a bit of goat cheese, dried cranberries, sliced almonds, and romaine tossed together in a bowl. Honey mustard; balsamic; fig and balsamic. All delicious dressings to pair with this.

Enjoy!!!!

[ZeWaka]

ZeWaka's Family's Greens & Potatoes Torta

Dough

• 1 1/4 cp flour
  
• 1 1/2 tsp olive oil
  
• 1/2 cp DHMO
  
• Salt to taste, duh
  

Fillin'

• Buncha chard, kale, collards, whatever. Maybe 9 large leaves, honestly depends.
  
• 1 or 1 1/2 potatoes (boiled and finely diced, maybe cubes the half the size of a postage sta
  
• 1 yellow or sweet onion
  
• 1 1/4 cp feta
  
• 2 Eggs
  
• 2 1/2 tbsp olive oil (will need more to lather on crust later tho)
  
• shit like parsley, rosemary, salt, and pepper to taste
  
• in addition to the above you'll need extra salt for a luxurious massage (maybe 2 tbsp if you have fat fingers)
  

1. To make the Dough ($$$), mix yo flour and salt in a bowl. Sprinkle your oil into the flour and mix with one of those utensils that you eat with that have like 4 prongs.
   
2. Once you get finished with ya sprinklin', you gonna sprinkle some water a lil' bit at a time, and just mix yo $$$ till it holds together. Knead that $$$ until it's smooth as a baby's bottom and elastic like some gum on the bottom of a seat. Might take between 10-20 minutes (if you are WEAK).
   
3. Make that $$$ into a spherical object and put a wet paper towel over that bowl you got it in, and let it sit for at least 2 hours in that weak re-fridger.
   
4. You gotta make your fillin and stuff in the meantime though! Get that green leaf stuff and throw some of that extra massage salt on it and toss it. Then you gotta work that stuff with your hands and massage the leaves with salt and stuff. Trust me, it makes the food happy and taste so much better (I'm being serious here bro).
   
5. While you let that green leaf stuff get massaged and then sit for 20m or so, start mixing your potatoes, onions, feta, and your spice shit into a bowl.
   
6. Squeeze all the juice and stuff out of your green leaves and add the green leaves to the potato mix. Then mix in your eggs, olive oil, and set that shit to the side because shit is gettin real
   
7. You should've preheated your oven to 375F by now, that's why you read the instructions first. Cut your $$$ in half, with one half being a bit fatter, but not yet like 2/3 to 1/3 size. Roll out one into a nice circle, and the other one into a nice slightly small circle. Then put your filling on the fat $$$ circle and throw your small circle $$$ on top, covering it like a calzone or some shit. After that, you gotta do this cool thing that makes it more yummy to the edges, so you like scrunch it up and make little ridges. Like this but more schrunchy
   
8. Once you scrunch the shit out of it, you brush that top with olive oil so you get that tasty crust that is so good.
   
9. Put that delicious torta on the rack (on a sheet pan though duh, maybe some of that parchment paper also) and bake until golden, so 30-40 minutes maybe depending on your oven
   
10. Once done, you should know to let it cool so you don't end up with your mouth losing all feeling due to severe burns, but then you just cut it up like pie and eat it like civilized humans.
    

Enyoy!

[TheNewTeddy]

Cracker Sandwiches


First, grab some crackers

You don't need to make an entire sleeve at once if you have some of this "self control" thing, so lets continue our look using only 2 of them.


You'll want some Peanut Butter, and some Butter or Margarine.


Put some Peanut Butter on one of the 2 crackers, and butter on the other.


Put them together. Make sure the butter half is on the top, this is very important.


eat

[TheNewTeddy]

cook up 2 burgers, and cut them into smaller bits.

get some shredded cheese

Get a pack of unmade pizza


cut it so it fits in your oven


apply topings
protip: try to get the sauce on the side edges you've cut off as they can get extra crusty

leave an empty spot for your thumb so you can take the pizza out of the oven later.

put in oven for 15 mins at like 425 or something.

result: pizza!


(disclaimer: this pic is from a time when I used pepperoni)

[Arborinus]

I'm still waiting for the Chef Boyardee Sub and Banana Corndog recipes.

[TheNewTeddy]

bump. eating some nachos!

[Mcspizzy]

old as fuck recipe image i had.

Spoiler!