Ideas of questionable quality

[Dr Zoidcrab]

What if the events of the rounds were turned into stories? Details are filled in depending on who the antags are, how people die, what objectives get completed, etc

I'm assuming that's possible. You could even do checks if someone hit a dude several times depending on the amount of damage done, you could state "Terrence Philips demolished Sundance Feely with his fists" or if they barely did any damage "Terrence Philips broke his feeble wrists against Sundance's barrel chest". You could even possibly do a check if the player was already in crit and someone punches them it could be "Sundance kicks Terrance when he's down. What a dirtbag!"
This could range from anything from, the amount of times the clown was farted on, station power, the amount of salt generated by ghosts (just do a check for how many times the word fuck is used in Deadchat). World's your oyster, once you use some creative/witty adjectives.

(EDIT: The above example wouldn't generate the story for every beatdown, that'd be too much. Only RNG excerpts)

It'd be a very fun feature, which would keep people possibly playing the next round just to read it. The only drawback is people possibly acting on it during the round, negatively (as in misinterpreting it for the CURRENT round) instead of positively (some journalist loudly rolling with it to fit into his narrative)

I like it, sounds kinda like the procedural art generation in Dwarf Fortress. Certain actions would have a chance of making a recorded event, and a few of those are chosen whenever an art is made.

"This is an engraving of a clown surrounded by monkeys. The clown is on fire. The monkeys are making a plaintive gesture. This relates to the beating of the clown by Albert last shift."

Apply this to artifacts.