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Threads: 26
Joined: Sep 2012
Please post jokes you use as a clown to "entertain" the crew.
Quote:Lost my watch at a party. Saw some guy stand on it. Walked straight up to him and punched him. No one does that. Not on my watch!
Quote:I have a poem:
You dig
I dig
He digs
She digs
They dig
We dig
It's not my best work, but it is deep.
Quote:If you ever feel cold you should stand in the corner.
It's 90 degrees!
Quote:An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling.
The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, Can you all see me now?
Yes.
Oui.
Si.
Ja.
Quote:My drug dealer cracks me up!
Quote:Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no matches or anything to light them up with. What do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter!
Quote:Have you seen my henlay?
What's a henlay?
Eggs!
Posts: 102
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A pirate walks into a bar.
"Did you notice you've got a steering wheel on your penis?" asks the bartender.
"Arr, and it's driving me nuts!"
Posts: 1,174
Threads: 73
Joined: Sep 2014
Spoken to the janitor as a clown AI:
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Atch."
"Atch who?"
"Look, now you've gone and sneezed everywhere! Better clean it up!"
In the same round, I also changed my arrivals message to "$NAME the $JOB farted on an elevator once. It was wrong on so many levels."
And as my last joke: "How are computers and air conditioners alike? They both work fine until you open windows!"
Posts: 696
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A miner with a full satchel trips and falls. Which arm does he break?
The escape arm!
How did heisenbee feel when the MD got a pet bat?
Royal jelly!
Also there was that round where I offered all access to anyone who could tell a joke. Ended up shooting a guy for "what has 4 wheels and flies?"
Posts: 3,055
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I'd contribute to this thread but I'm pretty sure I'm officially banned from making any more puns.
honk.
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UrsulaMejor Wrote:I'd contribute to this thread but I'm pretty sure I'm officially banned from making any more puns.
honk.
do it fucker
Posts: 4
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Joined: Mar 2013
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Iraq.
Iraq who?
Iraq and roll.
Posts: 420
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Joined: Aug 2014
Two bees bumble into a bar looking to get buzzed. What did they ask the bartender for? It's none of your beeswax.
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What do you call a spaceship that breaks the rules?
Dread-Naughty! :suicide:
Posts: 33
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Joined: Sep 2012
A collection of limericks:
There once was a man from PooPoo
Whose limericks ended on line two.
Wait I got another:
There once was a man from Verdun.
Did you ever hear the limerick made by Nero?
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There once was a man from limerick.
Who was quite ignorant of the type of poems his town was named after.
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I just found this on imgur. Very entertained
http://imgur.com/gallery/CKl84ZJ
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Silvercloud29 Wrote:I just found this on imgur. Very entertained
http://imgur.com/gallery/CKl84ZJ
Wrestler clowns are the worst.
Goonhub
