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How did you last die
#31
'Twas the night of the Snowman Apocalypse. Arrivals was covered in snow, walls were missing, and there was a big square bunker in the middle of the hallway by the marketplace. I was manning my usual obnoxious gimmicky post at the.. Trading Post, handing random items back and forth to the hapless, frantic crewmembers, when shortly after a kind donor ran off to bring me some insulated gloves, my corner of the market suddenly burst into flames. Immediately after the flames died down I tried to roll around and put myself out when lasers flew out of god-knows-where and sent me into crit. That was when I heard the screams.
The screams of the damned. The horrible snowy damned.
And yetis.
I was on the brink of death, but I held on. By "held on" I, of course, mean, refused to succumb because I wanted to wake up and be of helpful service to the brave crew of that forsaken shuttle once more.
Well, that never happened, I suddenly froze into an ice cube as the cold front moved in, lost all hope, and gave in so I could watch the snowy apocalypse from the comfort of the afterlife.

So basically I caught fire and got lasered and frozen to death. But that's nowhere near as compelling a read.
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#32
I was a scientist and decided to mass produce bombs 11X11 bombs and sell them to people. However I mucked up with the mixing of my gas at the start of the round and didn't notice until 20 minutes in, so I decided to continue making bombs with this bad mixture. I could only make a bomb of 1 strength level and it was abysmal.
[Image: dWoRs.png]

That's my corpse, and underneath it is the bomb that "Exploded" dealing a massive amount of damage to those 3 floor tiles. I killed myself by inhaling my mixture.
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#33
I was running from one murderous security officer named John Johnson and one harassing chaplain named Shacka because of my declaration of hate for Nanotransen one evening shift. After escaping my pursuers multiple times I jazzed my way through the hallways down to the Bridge lobby to find two security officers declaring they were going to go into Bridge and kill the captain for being a spy. They somehow had access to Bridge, probably from the Head of Personnel who was watching the whole thing occur from his office. Having a desire to play smooth jazz while the murder took place, I followed them in. They surrounded the captain, Maxion, and accused him of being a spy, whereupon they immediately shot him with stunning lasers, stripped him buck naked, and bucklecuffed him to a conference chair. The party being over, I attempted to leave, but was then shot at by the security officers, causing me to dance and play around the room, causing one officer to run out of shots and the other to hit me with perhaps his last or second-to-last shot. I was then forcibly stripped and bucklecuffed to chair opposite the captain, who was yelling he would not talk. Then things got real.

The Chief Engineer, a security officer, and a third man who I forget their job but went by the name of Trent rushed into the Bridge. The CE and officer seemed to have no idea what was going on and were quickly subdued, while Trent attempted to defend himself against both security officers who most decidedly were spies as well as the HoP. Soonafter two other bystanders came to the rescue, the detective and a scientist with a guardbuddy (who yelled at his master's attackers and then disappeared). In the melee of it all everyone was stunned at least twice by a flash or baton, but in the end the CE disposaled himself, the detective was harmbatoned to death, and the chaplain, floating along the station's edge while beating himself with his Bible in order to stay alive, not knowing who to help, smashed his way through the center Bridge window, releasing all the oxygen and heat, killing all five or so of us that were in the room and could not escape.

I wish I had taken a screenshot. I don't know why I didn't. There were bodies and equipment everywhere. (PS: The chaplain came inside and was beaten to death).
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#34
admin spawned a lot of syndicools, I decided to play with exploding lights and ciggerettes,

Hilarity ensues on both ends.
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#35
atomic1fire Wrote:admin spawned a lot of syndicools, I decided to play with exploding lights and ciggerettes,

Hilarity ensues on both ends.
RIP server.

It was so laggy I was running past my own taser shots to get at the wizard I saw. Then I died horribly.
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#36
Billy Mays touches the droning artifact.
the droning artifact suddenly flays Billy Mays open!
Billy Mays screams!
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#37
sorry for doubleposting, there really needs to be an edit button.
Chip King says, "RIP"
the space yeti punches out Billy Mays!
Billy Mays says, "yeah rip"
the space yeti devours Billy Mays in one bite!
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#38
BillyMays Wrote:sorry for doubleposting, there really needs to be an edit button.
Chip King says, "RIP"
the space yeti punches out Billy Mays!
Billy Mays says, "yeah rip"
the space yeti devours Billy Mays in one bite!

That was MY Yeti you thief!
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#39
That was MY Yeti you thief![/quote]

Well, I offically adopted it. Until it brutally murdered me and proceeded to kill everyone in sight.
It only wanted a home.
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#40
I was a botanist. I grew lots of wheat and sugar cane and sent it to the kitchen. The AI joined in and started greeting everyone with "Another ____ has joined! ____, go to the kitchen for free cake!"

A scientist walks in. "Hey, can I borrow your watering can?" "Sure, man. I've got more in the back." He returns it later. Everything is fine.

Then botany explodes. Starting from that table in the middle with the weird hippie food. I, of course, being a botanist, am in botany, tending to the crops. So I'm dead.

An assistant grabs my corpse and drags me to genetics. I am cloned quickly and efficiently, a strange concept for genetics. I strip my corpse and put my clothes on my new body. I walk out of genetics.

"Hey Don, I can patch you up." He analyzes my health and injects me with something. My health goes up to 100%.

Extreme levels of radiation detected approaching the station. All personnel have 53.3 seconds to enter a maintenance tunnel or radiation safezone. This is not a test.

"Quick! To maintenance!" I run to the medbay's maintenance as I was trained to do. The scientist follows.

You have been injected with 30 units of sedative.
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher


Later

OOC: Infinite Monkeys: this is dumb

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Anomaly Alert

Our sensors have sighted a shuttle of phantom George Melons clones about to seriously fuck up the station.

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Meteor Alert

Class 17 meteor shower approaching from the north. Impact in three minutes.

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Meteor Alert

Class 14 meteor shower approaching from the west. Impact in three minutes.

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Meteor Alert

Class 19 meteor shower approaching from the north. Impact in three minutes.

Alert: The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.

Clone generation process initiated.
This will take a moment, please hold.
Your icons have been generated!

You begin to recover.

A man in a spacesuit drags me out of the genetics room and into a maintenance tunnel.

Jacob Campbell says, "Welp"
Leonardo Biery [145.9] gasps, "help"
Jacob Campbell says, "Didn't realize the shuttle was here so soon"
Solo [145.9] declares, "Defend yourself!"
Adam Holdeman [145.9] asks, "Has the AI been reset?"
David Bailey [145.9] says, "It's a shotgun, Chris."
Jacob Campbell says, "And the AI has bolted and locked all the doors from h ere to there"
You feel a powerful shock course through your body!
Leonardo Biery [145.9] gasps, "ai please"
Jacob Campbell says, "Shocked and bolted"

The AI laws are reset. The doors unlock. The shuttle leaves.

[Image: pEZyU.png]
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#41
Nightgunner5 Wrote:I was a botanist. I grew lots of wheat and sugar cane and sent it to the kitchen. The AI joined in and started greeting everyone with "Another ____ has joined! ____, go to the kitchen for free cake!"

A scientist walks in. "Hey, can I borrow your watering can?" "Sure, man. I've got more in the back." He returns it later. Everything is fine.

Then botany explodes. Starting from that table in the middle with the weird hippie food. I, of course, being a botanist, am in botany, tending to the crops. So I'm dead.

An assistant grabs my corpse and drags me to genetics. I am cloned quickly and efficiently, a strange concept for genetics. I strip my corpse and put my clothes on my new body. I walk out of genetics.

"Hey Don, I can patch you up." He analyzes my health and injects me with something. My health goes up to 100%.

Extreme levels of radiation detected approaching the station. All personnel have 53.3 seconds to enter a maintenance tunnel or radiation safezone. This is not a test.

"Quick! To maintenance!" I run to the medbay's maintenance as I was trained to do. The scientist follows.

You have been injected with 30 units of sedative.
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher
_______ beats you on the head with the fire extinguisher


Later

OOC: Infinite Monkeys: this is dumb

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Anomaly Alert

Our sensors have sighted a shuttle of phantom George Melons clones about to seriously fuck up the station.

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Meteor Alert

Class 17 meteor shower approaching from the north. Impact in three minutes.

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Meteor Alert

Class 14 meteor shower approaching from the west. Impact in three minutes.

Grand Galactic Corporate Update

Meteor Alert

Class 19 meteor shower approaching from the north. Impact in three minutes.

Alert: The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.

Clone generation process initiated.
This will take a moment, please hold.
Your icons have been generated!

You begin to recover.

A man in a spacesuit drags me out of the genetics room and into a maintenance tunnel.

Jacob Campbell says, "Welp"
Leonardo Biery [145.9] gasps, "help"
Jacob Campbell says, "Didn't realize the shuttle was here so soon"
Solo [145.9] declares, "Defend yourself!"
Adam Holdeman [145.9] asks, "Has the AI been reset?"
David Bailey [145.9] says, "It's a shotgun, Chris."
Jacob Campbell says, "And the AI has bolted and locked all the doors from h ere to there"
You feel a powerful shock course through your body!
Leonardo Biery [145.9] gasps, "ai please"
Jacob Campbell says, "Shocked and bolted"

The AI laws are reset. The doors unlock. The shuttle leaves.

[Image: pEZyU.png]

That was me, Adam Holdeman - I was sure i'd killed you (again) when I flung you out into space. Bugger!

The AI wasn't reset but just pretending, he was carrying out my murder law - shame he didn't get you haha.

I'd killed the RD and a scientist that were my targets with the same method and teleported their bodies away in telescience, spent the rest of the round exploring space as I thought i'd completed my objectives frown
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#42
i slapped myself into crit. and then i succumbed.
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#43
crasscrab Wrote:i slapped myself into crit. and then i succumbed.

What have I done?!
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#44
Jeb Maxwell [145.9] says, "I HOPE YOU CHOKE YOU PURPLE FUCKER"
Jeb Maxwell says, "I HOPE YOU CHOKE YOU PURPLE FUCKER"
Jeb Maxwell raises both of his middle fingers.
Honke Cluwne stares blankly at The Gravitational Singularity!
Dima Rusakov stares blankly at The Gravitational Singularity!
You look directly into The Gravitational Singularity and feel weak.
Jeb Maxwell stares blankly at The Gravitational Singularity!
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#45
Spacediving
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