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Best moments ever thread 2.0
I had a fantastic time yesterday as Medical Director Traitor. Objectives were to ensure that no cloned personnel survived and no cyborgs survived. Well this should be easy.
Grabbed Emag, Sleepy pen and Agent Card.
I emagged the sleeper pods and the portable med-sleeper (does that also damage people the same way normal sleepers do?) As well as the reclaimer and defib.

I immediately went out to and did my best to be a great doctor. Went around healing and doing my best to have people like me. I managed to subdue what I think was at least one other traitor and vengeance killed someone who stole my tranq rifle. Near the end I started on a murder spree and tried to sleepy pen Duke Kickem and toss him in the reclaimer only to have someone decloak next to me and instastun me ending my spree in my own reclaimer.

The best part:

Duke Kickem: Sam Eagle was a traitor and sleepy penned me.
Crew member #1: No that cant be right! Sam healed us!

No Regrets. Never underestimate the effectiveness of helping people to establish a solid cover!
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Pretty fucking long so here's a spoiler thingy

You notice odd blue static sparking on your skin.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Ambassador Liz Man's personal locker.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the ziptie cuffs.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the office chair.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the dirty blood-stained staff assistant's jumpsuit.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the steel-reinforced steel sheet.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the electrical toolbox.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Fuel Tank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the glass sheet.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Fuel Tank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by soft steel floor tile.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the oil can.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the power cell.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the multitool.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the steel-reinforced glass sheet.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the flashlight.
You insert the light tube.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wirecutters.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the power cell.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency toolbox.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the steel-reinforced steel sheet.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the atmospheric analyzer.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the oil can.
Chang E Ling has been hit by T-ray scanner.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the hand labeler.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Material analyzer.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Mad Rebel.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Floorbot.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wirecutters.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the rack parts.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wrapping paper.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the health analyzer.
Chang E Ling has been hit by soft steel rods.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the Pest-B-Gon Mousetraps box.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the device analyzer.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the crayon box.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the tabletop gaming kit.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Fuel Tank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the pill bottle (???).
Chang E Ling has been hit by the dirty blood-stained burberry cap.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the caution sign.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the caution sign.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the caution sign.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the caution sign.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the caution sign.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the cannabis seed.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wooden plank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the pill bottle (???).
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wooden plank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the blood-stained balaclava.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wooden plank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wooden plank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wooden plank.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the football.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the scissors.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the saxophone.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the rack parts.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the glass table parts.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the mechanical toolbox.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wrench.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the steel-reinforced steel sheet.
Chang E Ling has been hit by soft steel rods.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency toolbox.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Mk 1.5 Light Phaser.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the blood-stained hard hat.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the multitool.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the weldingtool.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the power cell.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the mechanical toolbox.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the mechanical toolbox.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wrench.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the blood-stained Black Gloves.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the fire extinguisher.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the weldingtool.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the blood-stained Black Gloves.
You have added the light tube to the replacement light tubes.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the emergency glowstick.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the steel-reinforced glass sheet.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the wrench.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Gas Tank (Air Mix).
Chang E Ling has been hit by Gas Tank (Air Mix).
Chang E Ling has been hit by Gas Tank (Air Mix).
Chang E Ling has been hit by the backpack.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the oxygen deprivation first aid.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the neurological damage first aid.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the brute first aid.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the fire first aid.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the toxin first aid.
Chang E Ling has been hit by the first aid.
Chang E Ling has been hit by Ambassador Liz Man.
Chang E Ling and Ambassador Liz Man's opposite magnetic fields cause a minor magnetic blowout!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the spoon.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the champagne flute.
The champagne flute shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the plate.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the knife.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wine glass.
The wine glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the cocktail glass.
The cocktail glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the drinking glass.
The drinking glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the fork.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the spoon.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the blood-stained nicotine-free cigarette.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the spare ID box.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the bar stool.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wrapping paper.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wrapping paper.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the glassware box.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wine glass.
Ambassador Liz Man gasps.
The wine glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wine glass.
The wine glass shatters!
Bryce Richter says, "What"
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wine glass.
The wine glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the box of playing cards.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the bowl.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wine glass.
The wine glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the ketchup bottle.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the mustard bottle.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the plate.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the plate.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the mug.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the drinking glass.
The drinking glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the drinking glass.
The drinking glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the pepper shaker.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the salt shaker.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the champagne flute.
The champagne flute shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the knife.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the spoon.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the bowl.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the spoon.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the wine glass.
The wine glass shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the champagne flute.
The champagne flute shatters!
Bryce Richter and Ambassador Liz Man's identical magnetic fields repel each other!
Bryce Richter smashes through the reinforced glass table!
The reinforced glass table shatters!
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the cigarette butt.
Ambassador Liz Man has been hit by the cleanbot.
You begin to recover.
Ion Storm [145.9] says, "Currently making its way through Escape"
Elias Finch [145.9] says, "what the FUCK happened"
Ambassador Liz Man shudders.
Chang E Ling moans.

Context: This Ambassador dude decided to shove a metric fuck ton of stuff into a locker. Then opened it during a bio-magnetic event! And then it got activated and sucked *everything* in the bar in.
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Video 

Whatever the hell this was.
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(03-13-2017, 02:23 PM)sartorius Wrote:
Whatever the hell this was.

Major props to whoever coded this.
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So, Khamex VIII shanked me, made me into meat and my meat got fried. To seek revenge, I became A GHOST DRONE. Being ass day, I tried to get into the spirit of it. Turns out I'm really bad at rudedroning. I had fun watching Shitty Bill beat the odds and bobbling about.
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(03-13-2017, 04:38 PM)The_Rain Wrote: So, Khamex VIII shanked me, made me into meat and my meat got fried. To seek revenge, I became A GHOST DRONE. Being ass day, I tried to get into the spirit of it. Turns out I'm really bad at rudedroning. I had fun watching Shitty Bill beat the odds and bobbling about.

Shitty Bill crawled onto the shuttle, beat a phaser pod to death, then passed out until he died. A true hero.



Who was also me all along!
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Damn, that was pretty shitty. I mean, you're going to have to pay the bill for that pod now.
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(03-13-2017, 10:31 PM)YoukCat Wrote: Damn, that was pretty shitty. I mean, you're going to have to pay the bill for that pod now.

Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto Cackling Aloud With Gusto
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So, ass day drove some folks into the warm arms of Destiny. We had some secret rounds, and apparently Osiris was a vampire. Rain went to check, got mauled by bats and staggered back home. A helpful miner started... hauling her into the maint tunnels. Uh oh.

But sadly, Rain was in crit and unable to speak or resist. He hauls Rain through the tunnels and to the airlock, probably to eat her DNA in space. Unfortunately, he chucks Rain into space and she goes flying off. Whoops. Ling goes after Rain! Grabs her! ... accidentally chucks her diagonally trying to pull her to him.

I couldn't even be mad. I had to just laugh. Poor ling was having such a bad time. I bumbled into him in crit and his plans just got foiled so hard.

Turns out he later died when his oxygen tank ran out and he got hit by a drone going after me.

The saddest ling.
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On the Destiny, I was a simple janitor. Something amazing happened, for one. I got to blow up Roman! On accident IC, on purpose OOC. It was an exploding tomato Roman found in a crate that Bryce couldn't possibly know that it was an exploding tomato, but I knew (is that considered a griff?) Roman left it in the bar and, when he was drunk and smoking on-stage next to Artyom, I said "Hey, Roman, catch!" Afterwards, after some repairs, Roman smoked a laced cigarette. With spiders! After I suggested fire, he grinded the cigarette into a beaker and dumped the spiders on me. I tried to hunt him down with more tomatoes and missed both times (once on the shuttle!) and nearly died both times. First time, I jumped into a pod portal (I'm a dumbass) and missed with my tomato as he was in a pod. Luckily I stole borrowed a Hand Tele from the Teleporter room with an AI shell that I tried to use to rescue someone but whatever I forgot about that and ended up fucking around and Janitoring. But yeah, good solid round. Not much in terms of traitoring though D:
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I joined for a quick round as a Vice President last night. I had just stepped off of the arrivals shuttle when I overheard someone saying we should blow up Jay Wolff. A few crew members scrambled past me, one of them being Jay himself and I followed from a distance. The doors leading to the security/bridge foyer had just closed before me when the station shook from an explosion. Gibs and PDAs flew around the room.

I let the crew know of the tragedy that just transpired and proceeded to customs where the HoP, Harold was lying dead as well. The horror. I stole his id as Sailor Dave walked in the room. After a brief scuffle I ended up with Dave's ID and Harold's. More scuffling, and Dave had my ID. I changed his ID's access to clown and his job title to "Poo" and tossed it back his way: letting him know what I thought of his role on this station.

We parted ways and at this point, I got a text irl from my wife asking if I could run to the market and grab some groceries for dinner.

"I'm going to kill myself," I announced to the crew, slurring all the while thanks to my drunkard trait.
"No, Stan!" Rain cried out.
"I have to go to the margeff!" "MARGEFF!" "GROSHERYY SFORRE"
"Market," the AI kindly translated to the benefit of the crew and my sanity.

Just then, an announcement rang out.
Red Alert: A canister bomb has been activated in Medbay amd will explode in 90 seconds.

I rushed to medbay, hoping whoever attempted to disarmed the canister bomb would fail and I could be on the receiving end of an explosive enema.

Who should show up but my dear friend, Dave the Sailor, who promptly disabled the bomb successfully to my dismay. What a poo.

Fine. Time to do this the old fashioned way. Scalpel in hand, I slashed my throat. I laughed as my snazzy suit soaked in the blood to the horror of onlookers. Sov Extant and a two other doctors were there amd weren't ready to let me leave this world just yet. They promptly slapped some styptic patches over the wound and did all they could to keep me alive. I repeatedly attempted suicide: stabbing myself repeatedly, holding my breath when they put a straight jacket on me. They stuffed me in a sleeper and debated over how to keep me from harming myself. I took the opportunity to leap from the sleeper and dask to the disposal chute.

"Get out of there!" Sov exclaimed. "No," I replied.
The next moment a flush of the chute and I was whisked off to disposals with Sov giving pursuit as my body clanged along the pipe walls.

I ordered the AI to open the crusher but it refused to aid in my death. Sov quickly arrived saying he was intent on saving my life.

I conceded and nodded sullenly. Sov pointed to a switch on the wall, thinking aloud, "surely this switch will reverse the belts." I nodded enthusiatically and awaited his action.

Just then a moment of euphoria overtook me and I found the will to live.

"I WANT TO LIVE!" I screamed too late as the crusher doors opened and my body slid under the plastic flaps.
My body was instantly ground to an unrecognizable pulp as Sov screamed in terror.

"He tricked me!" I heard whisperes of his voice from the great byond.

And then I went to the margeff.
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Ella Oats [145.9] says, "Roman, judging from the state of toxins your bomb won't be hot enough to do shit."

Ella Oats says, "Roman, judging from the state of toxins your bomb won't be hot enough to do shit."

Roman Lawhon [145.9] asks, "OH YEAH?"

Alert: Due to crew shortages and fatalities, the emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 9 minutes.
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(03-18-2017, 09:18 PM)elan_oots Wrote: Ella Oats [145.9] says, "Roman, judging from the state of toxins your bomb won't be hot enough to do shit."

Ella Oats says, "Roman, judging from the state of toxins your bomb won't be hot enough to do shit."

Roman Lawhon [145.9] asks, "OH YEAH?"

Alert: Due to crew shortages and fatalities, the emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 9 minutes.

That was so funny
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Whut le fuque (as Zane Ellis) exclaims, "ARSE NATH!"
Sam Winchester's arse flies off his body in a magical explosion!
Sam Winchester's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Sam Winchester screams!
Sam Winchester's right arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Sam Winchester screams!
Sam Winchester's right leg flies off in a bloody arc!
Sam Winchester screams!
Sam Winchester asks, "WHY?!?"
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(03-19-2017, 02:43 AM)babayetu83 Wrote: Whut le fuque (as Zane Ellis) exclaims, "ARSE NATH!"
Sam Winchester's arse flies off his body in a magical explosion!
Sam Winchester's left arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Sam Winchester screams!
Sam Winchester's right arm flies off in a bloody arc!
Sam Winchester screams!
Sam Winchester's right leg flies off in a bloody arc!
Sam Winchester screams!
Sam Winchester asks, "WHY?!?"

This made me laugh a ton when I did it.
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