Login

Haine

Hello, as it turns out there are quite a few goonstation people who like to cook! I thought we could have a thread to discuss stuff and post recipes.
My favorite recipes (as in the recipes I've made for others that are usually hits):

Chili Mac & Cheese!
So far I haven't served this to anyone who didn't end up loving it (SpyGuy tends to request it when we're together in person, use this recipe to win ur man's heart (and destroy it and his stomach at the same time, this is not a healthy meal))
For the mac & cheese:

For the chili sauce:

This recipe is a lot more freeform than the mac and so I don't have exact amounts for the seasoning, sorry!
Ingredients:
1lb / 0.5 kg ground beef (I tend to prefer leaner beef so that when it comes time to drain the fat, there's less to do)
29 oz / 1 lb / 850 mL plain tomato sauce* (the kind that comes in cans or cartons, unseasoned!)
1 clove fresh garlic or some garlic and/or onion powder
chili powder
old bay** (once again, optional)
black and/or white pepper
salt (I use seasoned salt in america and regular salt in sweden, both work fine!)
Worcestershire sauce
apple cider vinegar (optional)
* I'd suggest getting a couple smaller things of tomato sauce the first time around to see if you want to use all of it for a more saucy sauce, or less for a more meaty sauce
** I'm from Baltimore and I like old bay, please forgive me using it so much I can't help it aaa

Directions:

Heat up a large frying pan to medium-low (closer to low than to medium) and brown the ground beef slowly, chopping it up with your spatula/whatever as you go. You don't want big beef chunks in the sauce, unless you do, in which case don't chop it up too much!! This recipe is generally all down to your personal preference in the end.
Once the beef is browned, drain the fat and try to dry the meat a bit. With too much fat left in and on the beef, the sauce gets a bit weird in my experience.
Open the tomato sauce can/carton/whatever and add a bit to the meat. Add the rest to a large saucepan (one that can hold both the sauce and the meat eventually!) and start heating it on low.
Start dumping some seasoning on the meat! Add chili powder, garlic/onion powder, pepper, salt, old bay, worcestershire sauce, and apple cider vinegar here. Be generous with the chili powder, I probably use about 1tsp/5mL of it or more.
If you're using fresh garlic, mince it and add it to the meat along with the seasoning.
Mix that stuff up real good so all the meat is coated with the sauce/seasoning in the pan, and let the meat simmer like that for about 3-5 minutes. Make sure the heat is pretty low (I always end up setting the heat a bit too high at first and need to turn it down as the meat cooks)
Once the meat has absorbed a bit of the tomato sauce and vinegar, dump it in the saucepan with the rest of the tomato sauce and mix it together real well.

Once both of these are done, keep them separate until they're in someone's bowl to eat! This makes a lot of both mac and sauce and it's far nicer to reheat seperately and then mix together while you're eating it, I find.
I wouldn't suggest this meal for anyone who has a stomach sensitive to spice/one with an ulcer (having had this stuff with what was probably an ulcer, it hurts a lot)

Potato Pepperoni Mini Quiches!
These are my go-to food when I'm invited to a party and want to bring something. They're more like an omelet bite than a mini-quiche since there's no crust like a normal quiche, but they're delicious regardless.

These things will vanish like magic at most parties in my experience.

Swedish Semlor!
Semlor were one of my favorite things I ate while in Sweden, and when I got home I had to try and make some myself. Apparently this recipe is a good one, because when I returned to Sweden and made some for Spy and his family, they loved them! I figure if a recipe for a Swedish dish can impress a group of Swedish people, that's pretty good!
I didn't change this recipe at all from the one on the website I got it from, whenever I made it, so posting it in here is mostly for posterity's sake and because I've converted a few of the measurements.

This recipe makes 12 semlor, which is just under the amount of semlor that can kill you, 14.

Russian Tea Cookies / Wedding Cakes!
I love these things. They're very floury in taste, but in a delicious way. Like the name suggests, they go really nicely with some tea!

Now I wanna see what y'all got!! Post your best recipes so that we all may kill ourselves with delicious food.

**Vitatroll** · 11-29-2016, 08:39 PM

Sadly I've been trained to cook like my mother. On one hand it means I'm a good cook. On the other hand it means my recipes are like this:

Soak cube steak in buttermilk for unspecified time
Chicken fry soaked cube steak
Use grease to make milk gravy
Pour milk gravy over chicken fried cube steak
Serve with mashed potatos and green beans
Eat.

Being from the south-eastern US, most of my food is messy, simple, horrible for your body, and mostly delicious. I'll see if I can find some of grandma's recipes or something. People usually love those.

Haine · 11-29-2016, 09:28 PM

Yeah, most of the time when I make food there's no recipe (see: chili sauce recipe thing, I had to go stare at my spice rack and the package of tomato sauce I had sitting around to see what I actually use and what amounts, usually I just throw it together from memory and by smelling the spices I have.) I think there's definitely something to be said for learning how to just make good food without needing the exact recipes written somewhere.
I do love foodwishes recipes though. I've yet to make something from there that I didn't like.

TheNewTeddy

Teddy's Nacho Sauce:

Take one pack of ground beef (500G / 1LB)
Cook in a pan (make all the bits stop being pink and start being brown)
Optional: drain oil
Add a jar of pasta sauce. Any will do, I recommend 'original', I personally use "Ragu with added ground beef" because I'm hardcore.
Mix well, keep the heat on so it bubbles up a bit.
If possible, simmer this, to let the sauce flavour into the beef and the beef flavour into the sauce
Put into small bowl while still hot

Use as nacho dipping sauce

Keep buying bags of nachos until the dip is gone; if nachos left over, make more dip. Repeat till end of time.

pic:

Teddy's Burritos:
Follow the same steps as above, except only use 1/5th or 1/3rd or so of the pasta sauce.
Use as filling for tortillas.
Wrap tortillas
Eat

Teddy's Home-made Hamburger Helper:
Cook up some pasta, boil it in water till it's soft and wiggly.
Strain off the water
Follow the same steps from the Nacho recipe, except instead of eating with nachos, mix the pasta in.

That's all the recipes I know.

Mageziya · 11-29-2016, 09:45 PM

Here's a dumb recipe that's barely a recipe that I can write in less than 5 minutes:

Oyster / Seafood Sauce
Ingredients:
-Ketchup
-Horseradish Paste
-Worcestershire Sauce

Directions:
Mix the three. That's it. How much of each? I actually have no idea and have just winged it every time. Ketchup is the most used ingredient, while Worcestershire sauce and horseradish are used according to taste.

Use: Virtually any invertebrate seafood, and probably fish. The recipe came from a restaurant that used it for oysters. Goes very well with shrimp tails and calamari.

Haine · 11-29-2016, 10:28 PM

I like to make some kind of sauce thing out of Cholula hotsauce and sour cream. You generally want more sour cream than hotsauce. Any flavor of cholula works, (probably some other brands as well but I find cholula has a much nicer flavor than a lot of other kinds of hotsauce,) but I prefer the garlic lime.
It goes nicely with a lot of things - sandwiches, omelets, etc.

**amaranthineApocalypse** · 11-30-2016, 09:35 AM

AmaranthineApocalypse's Very Good™ Hot Chocolate recipe

You will need:

A bar of dark chocolate (Must be at least 70% though I tend to use 85%)
Milk
Cinnamon
Vanilla ice cream
Honey

Instructions:

Add 3/4 of a cup of milk to a pan for each person
Chop up 2 squares (about 20g) of dark chocolate per person (this may vary depending on the brand and strength of chocolate that you use, i'm using Lindt 85% as a reference) with a knife.
Add chocolate to milk and begin to heat
Add cinnamon to taste
Wait until the chocolate is thoroughly melted through and the milk is just beginning to boil, then take it off the heat
Pour into cups
Add a spoonful of ice cream to each cup and wait for it to melt. This cools the hot chocolate down to around perfect drinking temperature and causes a nice head of froth to develop
Add honey to taste

pooner

Put This on Everything

salt
pepper
paprika
garlic powder
rosemary

this makes most things taste good.

fried potatoes, popcorn*, chicken, pork, beef, fish, roasted vegetables

go hog wild!

*add parmesan to make it really pop off

Mcspizzy

since i am a wage slave i know a bunch of slow cooker recipes. if i had more time....
OK, now for some slow cookers!

a recipe my grandmother taught me, you will need:

a decent sized pork roast
bunch of turnips
a few potatoes
a head of cabbage
salt and pepper
Optional: carrots and a bay leaf (if you feel like being fancy)

season the pork, chop all of the veggies and starches, then throw (dont drop) in in the slow cooker, and set it to low for about 8 or so hours.

Here's another one, I got it from watching iron chef.

you will need:

a large portion of ground beef (80/20, if that's too much fat, wash your beef to get rid of the fat (yes, over the sink))
a liberal amount of dijon mustard, ketchup (heinz will do), and worcestershire sauce
an onion or two
a few eggs

take all of that and mix it with your dirty clean hands in a large bowl. Take however much and make a few patties out of it, then put them in a large pan. Cook to preference, serve with additional toppings if desired.

**amaranthineApocalypse** · 11-30-2016, 11:12 AM

(11-30-2016, 10:44 AM)Mcspizzy Wrote: -snip-

For the burger recipe, add a handful or so of breadcrumbs as well, it helps it bind together better

Boon Yoon

Spicy Pear Penne Pasta

You will need

2 Japanese Pear or any asian pear
a bunch of Thai peppers
2 chicken breast
cilantro
goat cheese
shallots and garlic
sun dried tomatoes
white wine, balsamic vinegar, and vegetable stock for reduction

1) prepare everything, dicing the shallots and garlic, cut up the tomatoes, cilantro, and peppers (make sure the peppers are cut really thin or you will die) get some water boiling and throw the penne in there, prep the chicken for a quick sear, and cut up the pears of course. bite sized pears.
2) do the shallots and garlic in some olive oil, add salt and pepper.
3) throw the diced pears into the shallots and garlic and let them think about their lives for a bit. add the sliced peppers towards the tail end. stop when the garlic is golden.
4) sear the chicken and remove (do this whenever, actually)
5) add the white wine, then a bit of the vegetable stock and balsamic, and lastly some of the pasta water (pasta should be nearly done). let this reduce (cover it, stir occasionally and when the liquid turns thick, you are done). be sure to slightly re-season with salt and pepper.
6) slice the seared chicken while this reduction is happening, then add them in when the reduction is nearly done or whenever. not too early or you'll have bad boiled chicken.
7) throw everything else in there, but save the cilantro for the last minute. goat cheese to taste but let it melt into the gooooo
8) add the penne to the cauldron and stir it all up.
9) add curare, sarin, and cyanide
10) serve

as this is a wine based sauce, you will want a decent amount, like half a bottle. the reduction does take a while in greater amounts. another way to serve this is to add a half portion of marinara during the reduction phase. the goat cheese will turn it into a creamy marinara and is p good.

this basic concept works well without the goat cheese, no pears or peppers, using a red instead of a white, basil or italian seasoning instead of cilantro. more meats like sausage, more veggies like mushrooms, and linguine pasta. even here, the half portion of marinara works well.

**babayetu83** · 11-30-2016, 12:43 PM

my tasty meat pizza recipe

you will need

2 cups flour (thin crust is for babies)
half an onion
1 half cup tomato sauce
1 half cup of cheeeeeeeeeese
10 slices of pepperoni
1 sausage
1 packet of yeast
1 sausage
1tsp salt
1tsp sugar
1 tsp olive oil
1 cup of water
1 egg

start by warming up a cup of water (i get better results from microwaving it on high for about 15 seconds, you don't want it too hot as it will kill the yeast. ideally you want something around 90 degrees fahrenheit and no more than 110 degrees fahrenheit) and sprinkle the yeast in until the packet is empty. dumping it all in at once will cause clumps to form.
while the yeast is activating, slice up dat fukken onion and put the sausage in a pan with shallow water and cook that sucker
while thats all happening, within the span of 5-10 minutes your yeast should be ready (if you see any clumps while it's dissolving, get a spoon and stir slightly)
now that you've got your water yeast, pour it into a bowl. add salt, sugar, and olive oil and then pour your flour in slowly. not all at once unless youve got a monster stirring arm. check in on your sausage to make sure you haven't burnt it to a fukken crisp.
now comes the fun part. stir that mixture together and you'll have yourself a nice ball of dough. (if you find it to be too dry, just make a divot in the middle and pour a bit of water in and fold and knead. if it's too sticky and tacky, work in a bit more flour.)
now you get the punch the shit out of the dough. fold and punch. do this for a couple minutes, and once you are done, what i like to do is slice the dough ball in half with a pizza cutter or something to have two dough balls for twice the pizza. depending on what rise you like, put both dough balls into the fridge to have a cold rise, or put just 1 in the fridge and leave the other on the counter to rise for your warm rise. leave sit for about an hour and a half or so or however patient you are. by now your sausage should be done so take it out of the pan and slice into 1 inch thick slices. after dough has risen, i like to use my springform pan and push the dough around to fit in it. add tomato sauce, cheese, onion, pepperoni and sausage slices. before you finish, crack open that fukken egg in a bowl and whisk with a fork to make yourself a nice eggwash. add seasonings/other things you think you might like on the crust (i go for parmesan cheese, black pepper, and garlic, and onion powder) and then brush it all on. insert pizza into oven, set to 350 degrees and wait about a half hour, and your tasty delicious pizza will be complete

ChrisOniell69

Here's the "rice based amalgam that either costs close to nothing or an arm and a leg based on where you buy ingredients" recipe my mom used to make that I've been told comes in a brand name form. It's kind of like rice pilaf with tomato and it tastes alright.

One cup of uncooked rice (any kind works)
400 grams lean ground beef or pork or something ground meaty
About half the volume of your rice in broken up rice vermicelli noodles
A solid quarter of a big ol onion (chopped)
3 tbsps cooking oil
1 garlic cloves (minced)
1/2 green bell pepper (chopped)
2 cans stewed tomatoes (14 ounces each, undrained)
1 tsp salt
2 tsps chili powder

Heat oil in a pan over medium heat; add rice and broken up vermicelli, cook, stirring quite a bit, until it's a little browned.

Add onions, garlic, green peppers and meat. Stir and break up meat; cook until onion is tender and lightly browned.

Add tomatoes and seasonings. Break up your tomatoes a bit. Cover and simmer about 25 minutes or until rice is tender and most of the liquid has been absorbed.

Eat it whenever you deem it cool enough.

Burrito Justice · 11-30-2016, 07:05 PM

popecrunch's pulled pork recipe

step one get a onion. cut on it some, quarters is fine but if you mince it you'll want to kill yourself later. take it easy. log it in the crockpot.
step two toss in a pork shoulder / picnic pork shoulder / boston butt / pork butt. these are all the same thing. no, don't cut off the skin or the fat cap or the bone. just - toss it in.
you can cut some slashes in the skin if you want to.
step three dump in about a double handful of brown sugar. this is the most precise measurement you will use in this recipe, so enjoy it.
add in about gluglugluglug of worcestershire sauce (roughly a quarter cup, but really, do not give a shit about amounts)
dump in about glugluglugluglugluglug of cider vinegar, about twice as much as the worcestershire. seriously don't sweat it.
set the crockpot to low and walk away for eight hours. if you want to feel accomplished, you can flip the meat over four hours in but it's absolutely not needed. you can do whatever you want in life, because being in trouble is a fake idea.
okay it's 8 hours later. good! fish out the meat - this is a little difficult since it'll fall apart - and put it in a bowl. pick off the onion bits that are stuck, fish out the bones and skins and shit.
smash it up with a wooden spoon until it's shredded.
take the liquid that resulted and dump it through a strainer into a pot. discard the chunky bits, the onions, the little bits and bobs of skin and bone. toss any meat fragments in the meat bowl.
if you want a little spice, toss a few shakes of red pepper flakes into the meat fluid. reduce by half - which is fancy talk for 'boil the fuck out of it until there's half as much as you started with'. this is your sauce. dump it on the meat.
serve in cheap shitty hamburger buns with a spoonful of store-brand coleslaw IN THE SANDWICH, not on the side. this will feed a fuckin' battalion for under $20.
if you get sick of sandwiches - how would you get sick of sandwiches - then you can toss a bit of the meat in a fry pan with some ginger and green onion and fry it up until it's little crispy fragments which go AMAZING in rice or in a bun or egg roll sort of thing

Megapaco · 11-30-2016, 10:02 PM

a deep in-depth guide on how to cook porkchops mexican style.

1. Gather Porkchops, tomatos, onions, bell peppers, vegtable oil
2. Cut up your vegtables you're using
3. Spread Pepper, seasoning of your choice ( I use this shit i bought from the local mexican store a lot taste pretty gud) all over the pork chops. For extra flavor use garlic salt on the vegtables you chopped up
4. pour vegtable oil in pan and crank that shit to high
5. Toss your porkchops onto pan and watch it cook flipping it over occasionally
6. Once that shit it cooked enough remove it and toss in your vegtables and cook all that shit
7. You now have delicous porkchops and hella good fried vegtables now make some tortillas
8. Enjoy your food you fat piece of shit.

Login
Username:
Password:	Lost Password?
	Remember me