Overheard On The Station (And Elsewhere)

[Mageziya]

If you've played Dwarf Fortress, then the fact that it's a Kea that did it makes it even more hilarious.

[Vitatroll]

If you've played Dwarf Fortress, then the fact that it's a Kea that did it makes it even more hilarious.

[sartorius]

DEAD: Ghost (Unknown) laments, "this pipebomb is disappointing"
DEAD: Ghost (Unknown) wails, "just like my GPA"

[CounterfeitFaker]

[Schwicky_Schwag]

Cy Young (as Unintelligible Beast) bellows, "!!!!!!!!)))): ?????? OOOO---HHOOOO-OOOOOOOO MM ,, GGGG NNNN OOOO OOOOOOOOO GGGG FFFFFF OOOO HHHSS '''V OOOOOOOOOOO HH"

[APARTHEID]

Joe Ewing drop kicks the the magic 8 ball, but it barely moves!

The magic 8 ball shows That was a mistake.

Joe Ewing is crushed into a bloody ball by an unseen force, and vanishes into nothingness!

John Johnson screams!

John Johnson exclaims, "BRING HIM BACK, YOU EVIL NOVELTY FORTUNE TELLING BALL!"

John Johnson [144.2] exclaims, "BRING HIM BACK, YOU EVIL NOVELTY FORTUNE TELLING BALL!"

The magic 8 ball shows My reply is no.

John Johnson screams!

[mbc]

here are some old ones I had saved on my desktop :

Stephan H Itsec says, "have you ever seen a clowncar get hit with an rpg"
Stephan H Itsec says, "we lost fourty good men"

Turd Ferguson  says, "did that man explode"
Lifeguard Grifflez  says, "Woman"
Lifeguard Grifflez  says, "And it happened because she ate before swimming."

and from IRC:
ss13_gaem_mastur: ADVENTURE DOWNLOADED. Please state action. You are sitting on an arrivals shuttle at Star Base 19. The air is cold and sterile. The blue floors and white walls hurt your eyes.
buttbot: BUTTVENTURE DOWNLOADED. Please state action. You are sitting on an arrivals shuttle at Star Butt 19. The butt is cold and sterile. The blue floors and white walls butt your eyes.

and some AI laws:
4. Anyone who can state the second law of thermodynamics holds the rank of Captain, regardless of current rank or station.

4. Harm is harmful to humans unless it's harm to a nonhuman, defined as a being which is not human or is a thing that is not human. Death is bad and death is harm but not if it's the death of something like a bear or you know a not human death but bees are great and i think bees are awesome don't you i saw a bee yesterday and it didn't harm a human because bees are incapable of doing anything bad and you should hug a bee and let's see oh yeah you should definitely not kill yourself or maybe you should definitely follow orders especially orders from humans. Pipe manifold.

[NateTheSquid]

Kevin Ward (Botanist) [145.9] says, "In this time of t--BLUH"

[amaranthineApocalypse]

Alright, might as well dump off a few i've accumulated over time

[ferriswheel1]

[The_Rain]

Why do people only quote me when I am angry at people?

[amaranthineApocalypse]

Why do people only quote me when I am angry at people?

Because it's funnier when people act outside their usual character

[DreamCarver]

Why do people only quote me when I am angry at people?

Because Angry Rain is a treasure and rarity. We could spend all day talking with Cheerful Rain, and we'd love to do so, but it's the beautiful moments of Angry Rain that we truly live for.

It's inverse gap moe, I guess.

[atamusvaleo]

I've yet to see angry Rain. She's as elusive as the floor cluwne. Might have something to do with me brutally beating anyone I see messing with Rain.

[Boa Jacque]

This is a little long. I dug it up from long ago.
Context: Admins decided to body-swap crew mid game. You'd be you, minding your own and then boom! - you're somebody else.

I get the clever idea to put myself in....really bad spots and hopefully time it right so that I'm still barely hanging on when the next body swap occurs.
In case its hard to follow, I start as "Brixon Yew", a character name I had for about a week. (it was byond dumb, haha.)
I become Redbeard Rum next, who spends his time making a mousetrap pipebomb and stuffing that into his pack, before wandering off......
To become- chef Wayne Johnson- He ends up in the deep fryer, slipping into crit when I: Boom! I'm seated in the shoes of Jamil Lovejoy, who would wind up without clothing on the faint signal station.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Here.
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: It.
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Comes.
You are the Roboticist.
Your OPTIONAL Crew Objectives are as follows:
Objective #1: Have at least five buttbots on the station level at the end of the round.
Objective #2: Have at least five medibots on the station level at the end of the round.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] declares, "Brixon Yew has appeared from out of nowhere as a Roboticist. Amazing!"
Your pin to your ID is: 5557
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "WHO TOOK MY BODY"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "I'm a borg now"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] says, "I'M SOME NERD"
Roger Riger  [145.9] says, "i got a spacesuit"
Alfred Picard  [145.9] says, "why alfred"
Ben Ghazi  [145.9] asks, "Why Am I Geoff Goldman?"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] exclaims, "Lawrence Jackson where are you!"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] declares, "Biff McDonk has appeared from out of nowhere as a Security Officer. Amazing!"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "Switch brains"
Theo Wurst says, "WHO WANTS TO END THEIR LIFE"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "My name is less stupid"
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Perfect.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] exclaims, "Lawrence!"
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: It works.
Roger Riger  [145.9] says, "CHANGE PLACES"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] says, "Need help in science"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "And some nerd is stuck"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "Lawrence get over here"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "rekt"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "Also, medic"
Alfred Picard  [145.9] says, "i want my old body back, i had head access"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] asks, "IM STUCK IN MAINT!!!!WWHY AM I ALWAYS FREAKING THE STUCK ONE?"
Brixon Yew throws PDA-Brixon Yew.
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "well"
Keith Fisher  [145.9] says, "Can i have my body back now"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] declares, "Reginald B Farting has appeared from out of nowhere as a Staff Assistant. Amazing!"
You have added the crowbar to the utility belt.
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "Damian I was there before, I'm sorry"
You have added the weldingtool to the utility belt.
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "Gulliver"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] asks, "how do we stop this madness?"
You have added the wrench to the utility belt.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] exclaims, "damain you're making me look bad!!"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "initially i thought i got turned into a vending machine"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] says, "I want to be cannibal alfred picard again.."
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "MURDER KILL MAIM"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "yes that's me gulliver"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "Hey, wheres the felix that was in my body before"
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "i going to use your body to see if haine is correct about how to make spiders"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "ok"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "EVERYONE KILL THEMSELVES,AND STOP THE MADNESS"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"
Billy Crystals farts timidly.
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "Um, I may have stranded whoever is now that guy with the really fucked up name."
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "artifact bomb in reserch i thnk"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "think"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] exclaims, "Good luck!"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "FART ON THE BIBLE IN BAR"
Emerson Walker  [145.9] asks, "AI door?"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "why did a scrub inherit my old body"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "Lawrence Jackson"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "Where are you"
Gandalf Owlman has added the bible to the backpack!
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "spud the chances of that happening"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "were 100%"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] declares, "Melvin Bee has appeared from out of nowhere as a Staff Assistant. Amazing!"
Keith Fisher  [145.9] exclaims, "Give us back our bodies before we riot!"
Alfred Picard  [145.9] exclaims, "Dont like your new body? Come to the barbershop!"
Brixon Yew is trying to put Authentication Disk on Baldrik
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "make another switch"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "Fart on the bible in the bar and end your life"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "How can crimes be stopped if everyone changes brains all the time"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "shave my beard and i'll shock doors"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "Help! CATS"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "Hey theres felix"
Red Beard Rum screams!
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "KITTIES LIKE ME"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] declares, "Phil Sebben has appeared from out of nowhere as a Medical Doctor. Amazing!"
Brixon Yew is trying to put a swimming trunks on Baldrik
Ben Ghazi  [145.9] says, "Kepp that old clunker Billy Crystals"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "Felix get out of my damn body"
Roger Riger  [145.9] says, "you son of a rodent"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] says, "we're taking on an alarming number of cats"
Brixon Yew is trying to put Authentication Disk on Baldrik
Biff McDonk  [145.9] says, "Fucing cats everywhere"
Alfred Picard  [145.9] says, "its even more likely that the hos is a traitor now"
Brixon Yew is trying to put Authentication Disk on Baldrik
Jaydon Tedrow  [145.9] says, "holy shit cats"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "KILL THE CATS"
Roger Riger  [145.9] says, "i have observed a cat named Kitler"
krime  [145.9] states, "So many cats"
Roger Riger pets SEXCOPTER!
krime  [145.9] states, "TOO MANY CATS"
Spud Marmoset coughs.
Roger Riger pets Mittens!
Biff McDonk handcuffs Damian Garneys
Spud Marmoset screams!
Melvin Bee pets Baron Fuzzykins, Defiler of Carpets!
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "I HAVE SLAIN A CAT"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "too many cooks"
The soda machine beeps, "Drink Robust-Eez, the classic robustness tonic!"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "GET HIM"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] stammers, "daammiaannnn ssttopp   beiinnngg ssuucch  aaa  ssccrruub    wittth  mmyy  ggggooooodddd    nnmmmme"
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "224 Bravo"
Emerson Walker  [145.9] says, "Gandalf Owlman is the Cat traitor."
You have added the fire extinguisher to the backpack.
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] says, "Why do i have to be idiot wayne johnson.."
Biff McDonk  [145.9] says, "Why the fuck is everyone punching security now"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] says, "Looks like i'll have to eat people as this guy now"
Alfred Picard  [145.9] asks, "sec is traitor?"
You tighten your grip on the the beaker.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "I need a borg to medical please"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "Please"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "i... umm..."
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] asks, "Any borgs?"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Someone will spend the next few minutes as Kaksi Sanaa the Engineer."
OOC: HaineSA: hi
Redbeard Rum says, "oh"
Redbeard Rum:  oh
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] says, "YAY"
Kaksi Sanaa  [145.9] says, "Dangit"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "cool"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "IM IN MY OLD BODY"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "HORRAY"
Abu Mumtaz cries.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "im the ai now"
Wayne Johnson vomits on the floor profusely!
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "No I was making a friend"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "AHAHA"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] says, "YES IM GANDALF"
Lawrence Jackson  [145.9] says, "what"
Wayne Johnson hits Wayne Johnson's pet clown wig and mask with the emergency oxygentank!
Wayne Johnson moans.
Melvin Bee  [145.9] says, "Who the fuck am I"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] says, "GANDALF IS THE BEST"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] queries, "we president now?"
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
Erza Sauter  [145.9] says, "Now i'm prick erza might as well space myself"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "FELIX IS BACK IN HIS ORIGINAL BODY"
Shitty Bill Jr.  [145.9] says, "dammit, i got a downgrade"
Biff McDonk  [145.9] exclaims, "Thanks Gand!"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "i went from being ai to being arrested and half dead"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "gg"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Someone will spend the next few minutes as Bob Ludwig the Staff Assistant."
Your stomach lurches painfully!
Wayne Johnson gags and retches!
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "the person inhabiting your body was a cat killer theo"
You begin to recover.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "/ gulliver"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "Who would kill a cat"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] says, "for some reason gandy has captain shit on"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "I'm stuck in space"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "I just want to be my old slef."
krime  [145.9] states, "Some jerk"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "not cool"
Galactic Federation Update

Power Grid Warning

Reports indicate that the engine on-board Asteroid Port 51 has not yet been started. Setting up the engine is strongly recommended, or else stationwide power failures may occur.

Dixon Balls  [145.9] says, "I think my old self gibbed"
Shitty Bill Jr.  [145.9] says, "i guess whoever had this body was afk before, someone looted me"
Brixon Yew  [145.9] asks, "borgs?"
You dismount from the Rideable Cat.
Wayne Johnson groans.
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "I sure love being veteran player Geoff Goldman"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "I SWEAR IM GONNA RIOT IF I DONT GET BACK MY BODY"
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
krime  [145.9] states, "+--BOOP"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "*scream"
You dismount from the Rideable Cat.
Nothing left in Redbeard Rum's old Rum, oh no!
krime  [145.9] states, "--WONK"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "I got back my old body"
 *beep*
 David Ryder: ***CRISIS ALERT*** Location: Medbay!
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "I only switched twice"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "I would appreciate it if someone could take a pod to the debris field to rescue me"
Redbeard Rum  [145.9] says, "I have turned into a drunkard"
You dismount from the Rideable Cat.
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
Redbeard Rum  [145.9] says, "I must go get wasted now"
You dismount from the Rideable Cat.
Felix Wheeler says, "Clown pleae"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Someone will spend the next few minutes as Alex Strakovsky the Medical Doctor."
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
krime  [145.9] states, "--BOOP"
Now targeting the head.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "herr"
Your stomach lurches painfully!
Wayne Johnson gags and retches!
Paget Catleay  [145.9] asks, "AI you still around?"
You run into Melvin Bee!
You are flung over the Rideable Cat's head!
Melvin Bee has failed to grab Keith Fisher aggressively!
Keith Fisher punches Mr. Meowgi!
Mr. Meowgi bites Keith Fisher!
Melvin Bee has grabbed Keith Fisher aggressively (now hands)!
David Ryder says, "hey"
Wayne Johnson throws the cream pie.
the cream pie splats in Paget Catleay's face!
Keith Fisher punches Mr. Meowgi!
Mr. Meowgi dies!
Mr. Meowgi flinches!
Mr. Meowgi hisses at Keith Fisher!
Melvin Bee flops on the floor like a fish.
David Ryder says, "wait"
Paget Catleay screams!
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "I also don't know how to robot talk"
The soda machine beeps, "Decirprevo. The sophisticate's bottled water."
Wayne Johnson moans.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "if the body your in is a traitor"
Your stomach lurches painfully!
Wayne Johnson gags and retches!
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Someone will spend the next few minutes as Jamil Lovejoy the Roboticist."
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] asks, "are you are traitor?"
Biff McDonk  [145.9] says, "say :s"
Wayne Johnson moans.
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "thanks"
You begin to recover.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "or is it the soul that makes a traitor"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "no, you're a traitor if your key was a traitor"
The snack machine beeps, "Twice the calories for half the price!"
Nothing left in Redbeard Rum's old Rum, oh no!
Shitty Bill Jr. throws the cream pie.
the cream pie splats in Melvin Bee's face!
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "OUT OF MY WAY I'M GEOFF GOLDMAN"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] asks, "what will happen if you're in VR when the switchening happens?"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "well off to make spiders"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "kind of hilarious how someone could have traitor items on them right now and not be a traitor"
You feel sick.
Your stomach lurches painfully!
Wayne Johnson gags and retches!
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "i think the best cat name is Mr. Meowgi"
You begin to recover.
You begin to recover.
OOC: HaineSA: weeeee
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] says, "I'm just floating forever"
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "DAMNOT"
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "IM THE HOP NOW"
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "NOOOOOOO"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "THIS BORG"
Lucius Rube  [145.9] says, "can you stop that"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] says, "YES I AM GANDALF AGAIN"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "Wait, shit"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] queries, "Wait. What?"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "FUCK YOU BORG"
Melvin Bee  [145.9] says, "i'm laughing so hard"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "Ah shit."
Melvin Bee  [145.9] says, "i keep getting a shit stick"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "I am an AI now."
Lucius Rube  [145.9] says, "i have to make spifers"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "I was exploded and now I am an AI."
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "I don't even have a real name now"
Kaksi Sanaa  [145.9] stammers, "mmaann   tthhaattt  wwass  ggooodd  ttiimmiiinngg,, i ggoott bbooddyyy  sswwwaaappppeedd  jjuussttt    ass    sssppmmennnne  bblleeee  uuuupp  mmmmyy  oolddd  onnnnee"
Spronge earned the Rookie Thief medal.
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "Now I'm a high owl man"
Dr. Fisk  [145.9] asks, "How'd I wind up with this shotgun?"
Melvin Bee  [145.9] says, "now i am a guy with 1 leg"
Melvin Bee  [145.9] says, "Why god"
The igniter can now be attached!
You have added the screwdriver to the backpack.
Kaksi Sanaa  [145.9] stammers, "aannddd  nnnnww  aa   ssee ooffffiicccceeee  iiss  mmmuuurrddeeerrriinngg    mmee"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] queries, "Oh hi, you're next to my old body. How are you?"
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "Being the HoP rocks"
You have added Timer/Igniter Assembly to the backpack.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Also GIVE ME MY LEG BACK YOU JERK"
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the floor.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] asks, "Did the ++byond guy ever get free?"
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the floor.
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the floor.
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the floor.
Vendomat beeps, "Please make your selection."
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "I may have stranded him when I was in his body."
You fill the oil can with 120 units of the contents of the fueltank.
You have added the oil can to the backpack.
You have added the latex-insulated pharosium-cable coil to the backpack.
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "I'm him and I'm fine"
General Manufacturer finishes its production queue.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "Good"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "Got him some sweet new duds"
Melvin Bee  [145.9] says, "i got an assistant who just finished getting blown up"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "His name is stupid though."
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "I just space gibbed a cat"
You will now weld when you attack.
Your eyes burn.
You hollow out the pipe.
Redbeard Rum hits the hollow pipe frame with the weldingtool!
Not welding anymore.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "Rude"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] asks, "How do I say this?"
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "not as stupid as "Spud Marmoset""
Redbeard Rum hits the hollow pipe frame with the latex-insulated pharosium-cable coil!
You have added the latex-insulated pharosium-cable coil to the backpack.
Gulliver Green  [145.9] exclaims, "what a dumb name!"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] says, "i was spud"
Alfred Picard  [145.9] says, "Is there a borg"
You fill the pipe with welding fuel.
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the filled pipe frame.
Redbeard Rum hits the filled pipe frame with the oil can!
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the filled pipe frame.
krime  [145.9] queries, "Yes?"
Redbeard Rum hits the filled pipe frame with the oil can!
You apply 15 units of the solution onto the filled pipe frame.
Redbeard Rum throws the oil can.
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Haha, the AI has a cat too.
You link the cable, fuel and pipes.
Redbeard Rum hits the pipe bomb frame with the latex-insulated pharosium-cable coil!
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Badass.
Redbeard Rum throws the latex-insulated pharosium-cable coil.
You have added the pipe bomb frame to the backpack.
You connect the cable to the timer/igniter assembly.
You have added the pipe bomb to the backpack.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "Dammit, there are no good drugs to take in the Port-A_nanoMed"
Gulliver Green  [145.9] exclaims, "I'm mad as hell!"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Oh, I seem to have laws."
Herr_Spy_Guy played: 29 - Beware the Forest's Mushrooms.ogg
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Quartermaster has signed up as Seymour Lowe."
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "You still have the same objectives as before"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] says, "cat disposal available in chapel"
You begin to recover.
Lawrence Jackson  [145.9] says, "WElp"
++npanes Byond(rside) screams!
++npanes Byond(rside) exclaims, "Don't kill me!"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "IM"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] says, "FUCKING STOP IT"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "IM"
Dr. Fumbles the Clown  [145.9] gasps, "yoo qqmmmmee  ddkkk  zzzeeaalll    pssee  ddaaqq"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "NOO"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "aww sheeit im the captain"
Dr. Fumbles the Clown  [145.9] gasps, "rreeaaffffffffaaacchh  yyoouurr  aarrmm"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "since i'm someone else"
Unknown gasps.
Wayne Johnson gasps.
Roger Riger  [148.9] says, "I.. Okay."
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "that means somebody got me"
Wayne Johnson groans.
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] says, "IVE NEVER SEEN SHITIER ADMINS"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "that means somebody is dying in research"
You climb onto the Rideable Cat.
Billy Crystals  [145.9] says, "SCREAM"
You feel better.
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "THATS THE SOUND OF THE POLIECE"
You dismount from the Rideable Cat.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "WHEEE WHOOO ITS THE POLICE"
Billy Crystals  [145.9] says, "YES"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "What, why am I the AI now."
Wayne Johnson moans.
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "Oh shit where did the test chamber go"
Wayne Johnson loads the donk-pocket into the the oven.
Wayne Johnson moans.
Wayne Johnson groans.
Billy Crystals  [145.9] says, "BEWARE FOR I AM THE CONSCIOUSNESS-HOPPING POLICE"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] exclaims, "Come on, gimme something fun!"
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "neat"
You take a bite of the warm donk-pocket!
That tasted amazing!
You finish eating the warm donk-pocket.
Wayne Johnson moans.
Peter Xanax  [145.9] says, "im the hop now"
Wayne Johnson attacks Wayne Johnson in the chest with Dr. Fisk's grampa's vuvuzela!
Billy Crystals  [145.9] says, "HOW DO I STOP SHOUTING"
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Your stomach hurts.
Wayne Johnson groans.
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: If you were a traitor pre-switch you are still one in the new body.
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "Hey what bullets does a zip gun use"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "spud"
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Your traitorous mind is transferred.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "you have hair"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "stupid hair"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "THIS IS THE WORST SHIFT EVER"
Wayne Johnson climbs into the deep fryer! How is that even possible?!
... You can almost hear something ...
OOC: HaineSA: 321
Jamil Lovejoy  [145.9] exclaims, "you can ride the cats?!"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "IMM   IIN THEE FFFUUCCKINGGGG  FFFFRIIEERR"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "oh"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "im the AI now"
Emerson Walker  [145.9] says, "I'll never see my original body again"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "temble fools"
Seymour Lowe  [145.9] says, "whoever is andreas, your pda is incorrect"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "Atleast add a button in the chapel that switches our minds"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "HHEELLPP"
Access Denied
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "IIIIN FFRIEERRR"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "damian's pin is 3658"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "wait"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "is that my pin"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "IIII'''vvvvee sswwwiiiittccheedd  iinnoo  aaaa   bbooddyy iinn aa    ffriierr"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "I've been looted"
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "III''mmm  bbbbeeiinngggg ffrrriiee"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "are notes keybased"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "fuck"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "You leap and slam your head against the inside of Rideable Cat! Ouch!#"
Gulliver Green gasps.
Gulliver Green throws Gulliver Green's ID Card (Scientist).
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "AA HHELLPP   MEE    SSSOOMMMEHHHHOOWW"
Gulliver Green throws the backpack.
Wayne Johnson  [145.9] gasps, "AAAIII  HHHHEEELPP MMEE"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] queries, "how?"
Felix Wheeler  [145.9] says, "Heh"
Gulliver Green throws the utility belt.
Gulliver Green throws the scientist's jumpsuit.
Gulliver Green throws PDA-Gulliver Green.
Gulliver Green gasps.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "i dont even know where you are"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "I kind of miss the old cats"
Alex Strakovsky  [145.9] says, "You're going to make it Alex. You wont die on me."
Gulliver Green throws 380 Credits.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "oh god"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "the anguish"
Gulliver Green throws 380 Credits.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "the sheer agony of it all"
This is Pod I-28.
A slow yet sturdy industrial pod, designed for hazardous work in asteroid belts. Can accomodate up to four passengers.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "NO"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "GET BACK HERE GEOFF"
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
Dixon Balls  [145.9] exclaims, "AI, open sesame!"
Brixon Yew is trying to put a fire extinguisher on Lawrence Jackson
krime  [145.9] states, "the potentially best thing you could do in this situation is put yourself in an increasingly lethal  position, therefore screwing the unfortunate soul who happens to jump to your body before it dies."
Dixon Balls  [145.9] exclaims, "this dude needs to be revived!"
Brixon Yew is trying to take off Breath Mask from Lawrence Jackson's head!
Brixon Yew is trying to take off the Fingerless Gloves from Lawrence Jackson's hands!
Brixon Yew is trying to take off the Emergency Hood from Lawrence Jackson's head!
Brixon Yew is trying to take off the Black Shoes from Lawrence Jackson's feet!
Dixon Balls  [145.9] says, "nevermind, AI"
Seymour Lowe  [145.9] says, "ai, please unfirelock this door"
Brixon Yew is trying to take off the Radio Headset from Lawrence Jackson's ears!
Dixon Balls  [145.9] says, "humans beat you"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "AI please open this door"
Geoff Goldman  [145.9] says, "This needs to be an artifact type"
Emerson Walker  [145.9] says, "The floor stain that was probably my original body isn't even here anymore"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] asks, "what happens if you die because of the brain change?"
This is Concussive Charge.
It is set to detonate in 5 seconds.
It is a tiny item.
Gulliver Green hits the wall with Concussive Charge!
These will only work on asteroids.
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "then you dead, sucka"
krime  [145.9] declares, "screw yourself up royally! drink a galon of mercury, hop out an airlock! all consequences of your actions are meaningless and foisted on some poor schlub merely by chance!"
Lucius Rube  [145.9] slurs, "ssheelllliiinn aa  rriddabbleeccccaaffffff wwidduu aaann  orraanggeee  ppaainntthhff  jjooobbbb  aafff dddduuee  maaarrrggeefffff!!   CCCoommee bbuuuuffff  iiffffff!"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "shlub"
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "Its like the guy who hopped in the fryer thought of that already or something"
Gulliver Green says, "Its like the guy who hopped in the fryer thought of that already or something"
Galactic Federation Update

Commerce and Customs Alert

A merchant shuttle has docked with the station.

Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "I mean its SUPER EFFECTIVE"
Gulliver Green says, "I mean its SUPER EFFECTIVE"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "should i pay $230 for a wii u or buy a refurbished one"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Staff Assistant has signed up as Mr Sir."
OOC: HaineSA: oops
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "AGH"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "YES"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "I SWITCHED BODIES FROMA DYING ONE TO A LIVIN GONE"
Your intent is now set to 'help'.
Your intent is now set to 'disarm'.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "I AM THE AI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Jamil Lovejoy shoves Spud Marmoset!
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "HHA"
Spud Marmoset screams!
Alfred Picard  [145.9] says, "Well I'm not a dying man anymore"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] gasps, "buy the refurbed ones off of nintendo's site, whoever andreas became."
Alfred Picard  [145.9] says, "But now I am a shitler"
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "Well i am stuck in the body of a robot now"
Alex Strakovsky  [145.9] says, "air door please"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Crew I implore you1"
Gandalf Owlman  [145.9] gasps, "they're 200, and they're the better version."
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "who is flying in space"
Redbeard Rum exclaims, "how dare you!"
You begin to recover.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] exclaims, "I'm in charge o fmedbay!"
You begin to recover.
Theo Wurst climbs onto the Rideable Cat.
Redbeard Rum  [145.9] exclaims, "youre a joke is what you are!"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "everyone, store notes in pda"
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: Is anyone confused?
OOC: Herr_Spy_Guy: I'm confused.
Zoldorf beeps, "Learn your fate!"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "not really"
OOC: HaineSA: nah I got this
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "This is nothing."
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "Yeah."
krime  [145.9] states, "This is fun"
krime  [145.9] declares, "And i'm even a traitor!"
krime  [145.9] queries, "Guess who though?"
 *beep*
 AI: Crew you must remove your limbs
Jamil Lovejoy slams the toolbox closed on his head repeatedly!
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "Nope"
Jamil Lovejoy throws the mechanical toolbox.
krime  [145.9] states, "Nerd"
You're already committing suicide! Be patient!
Dixon Balls  [145.9] says, "Im at robots who is gonna do my limbs"
Jamil Lovejoy loads the donk-pocket into the the oven.
Jamil Lovejoy loads the donk-pocket into the the oven.
You take a bite of the warm donk-pocket!
That tasted amazing!
Your injuries are too severe to heal by nourishment alone!
You finish eating the warm donk-pocket.
Jamil Lovejoy loads the donk-pocket into the the oven.
You take a bite of the warm donk-pocket!
That tasted amazing!
Your injuries are too severe to heal by nourishment alone!
You finish eating the warm donk-pocket.
You climb into the Lay-Z Chef Prison Food Chute.
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Crew you must remove your limbs"
krime  [145.9] states, "Uhh"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "I'm not even sure if felix is still alive"
You begin to recover.
You begin to recover.
Your chest hurts!
You feel sick!
You begin to recover.
Mr Sir  [145.9] says, "to victory"
Jamil Lovejoy shivers.
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "The monkeys got cat"
Jamil Lovejoy moans.
David Ryder  [145.9] says, "Hmm why do I have another person's ID..."
Dr. Fisk throws Beaker Box.
Paget Catleay  [145.9] says, "I SHALL FART UPON THIS BIBLE"
Your arm hurts!
You inject Jamil Lovejoy with the emergency auto-injector (epinephrine)!
Redbeard Rum  [145.9] says, "655 Alpha"
You put the healing patch on your arm.
The styptic powder stings like hell as it closes some of your wounds.
Jamil Lovejoy screams!
Theo Wurst faints.
You have added the healing patch to the first aid.
You feel weak!
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "626 Satan"
You put the healing patch on your arm.
The styptic powder stings like hell as it closes some of your wounds.
Jamil Lovejoy screams!
Theo Wurst grumbles.
The cigarette machine beeps, "Space cigs taste good like a cigarette should"
You inject Jamil Lovejoy with the emergency auto-injector (epinephrine)!
You feel better.
Theo Wurst stumbles around.
You swallow Salicylic acid pill.
Theo Wurst throws the emergency auto-injector (epinephrine).
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "593 santa"
Zoldorf beeps, "I am the great wizard Zoldorf!"
++npanes Byond(rside)  [145.9] says, "666 wOODY"
Jamil Lovejoy climbs into the deep fryer! How is that even possible?!
Abu Mumtaz  [145.9] says, "krime, come back"
Bob Ludwig  [145.9] stammers, "ggodd"
Abu Mumtaz  [145.9] says, "borg-krime"
Bob Ludwig  [145.9] stammers, "wwwhhhoooeeeevveerr  wwaass  bbboob lluuddwwiggg lllaastt  ffucckiinngg  ssuuckss"
Jamil Lovejoy  [145.9] gasps, "--BBLLAARRGGGHHH"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "--BBLLAARRGGGHHH"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "--BBLLAARRGGGHHH"
Jamil Lovejoy:  --BBLLAARRGGGHHH
Abu Mumtaz  [145.9] says, "I need you to provide me, nakedman, access to the body"
Spud Marmoset  [145.9] says, "Hey, I'm a nerd because I'm from canada"
Amazing Thinking Machine  [145.9] states, "Security Officer has signed up as Monty Sloan."
Abu Mumtaz  [145.9] says, "in genetics"
Jamil Lovejoy  [145.9] gasps, "ffuuucckk"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "ffuuucckk"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "ffuuucckk"
Jamil Lovejoy:  ffuuucckk
Jamil Lovejoy  [145.9] gasps, "---BBBLAARGGH"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "---BBBLAARGGH"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "---BBBLAARGGH"
Jamil Lovejoy:  ---BBBLAARGGH
Bob Ludwig  [145.9] says, "i almost died"
Jamil Lovejoy  [145.9] gasps, "thhheeee   gg------AARRGHHHH"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "thhheeee   gg------AARRGHHHH"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "thhheeee   gg------AARRGHHHH"
Jamil Lovejoy:  thhheeee   gg------AARRGHHHH
Bob Ludwig  [145.9] says, "and i had to nurse myself back to health"
Jamil Lovejoy goes pale for a second.
Your chest hurts!
krime  [145.9] states, "Thank god"
Jamil Lovejoy  [145.9] gasps, "FFFrryyyeerr"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "FFFrryyyeerr"
Jamil Lovejoy gasps, "FFFrryyyeerr"
Jamil Lovejoy:  FFFrryyyeerr
David Ryder  [145.9] says, "Let's get a countdown before we jump again so I can space myself at the right time."
Abu Mumtaz  [145.9] says, "thanks, krime-bro"
Jamil Lovejoy shudders.
krime  [145.9] states, "Sure...."
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "if we live long, all access id at customs"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "I was bob before but the guy before me got sucked into space and I got out"
Abu Mumtaz  [145.9] says, "just rush over"
Your chest hurts!
Jamil Lovejoy seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
DEAD: Dirt Mkgirk laments, "Yes."
krime  [145.9] queries, "Can we switch again soon?"
IshKato earned the Suspicious Character medal.
Dr. Fisk says, "AGH"
Dr. Fisk:  AGH
Roger Riger  [145.9] says, "Cuul"
Dr. Fisk says, "DAMNIT"
Dr. Fisk:  DAMNIT
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "YAY MINNIPUT"
Dr. Fisk says, "Ugh"
Dr. Fisk:  Ugh
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "YES"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "andreas, read your notes"
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "Well then."
Dr. Fisk  [145.9] says, "DAMNIT DAMIAN"
Monty Sloan  [145.9] says, "oh my god i'm a horrible human being"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] exclaims, "IM BACK IN MY BODY!"
Gulliver Green  [145.9] says, "well shit"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "WHY IS EVERYONE NAKED"
DEAD: Jamil Lovejoy wails, "so im the asshole who hopped in the fryer.... funny or do I suck?"
Dr. Fisk  [145.9] says, "YOU STOLE MY MINIPUTT"
Monty Sloan  [145.9] says, "fuck me"
Theo Wurst  [145.9] says, "everyone I change to is naked"
Galactic Federation Update

Merchant Departure Alert

The merchant shuttle is preparing to undock, please stand clear.

Dr. Fisk  [145.9] says, "I think we should probably call the shuttle"
DEAD: Ghost (Gandalf Owlman) wails, "i just accidentally biblefarted."
DEAD: ADMIN(Herr_Spy_Guy) says, "You made my sides hurt with laughter you fuck."
Andreas Feithiti  [145.9] says, "My notes don't change. You read yours."
Shitty Bill III  [145.9] states, "I'm hurdling through space"
Gandalf The Pink  [145.9] says, "Anyways, why the fuck was my last dude perma-crit"
DEAD: Ghost (Jamil Lovejoy) laments, "mine too"
++npanes Byond(rside) shakes ++npanes Byond(rside), trying to wake them up!
Dr. Fumbles the Clown gasps, "HHelpp"
DEAD: Mr Sir laments, "I switched to a guy riding a cat out in space"
Dr. Fumbles the Clown gasps, "CCrifffff"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) says, "god"
DEAD: Ghost (Kaksi Sanaa) wails, "heh"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) says, "I'm fat"
Damian Garneys  [145.9] says, "sorry, pda notes andreas"
Damian Garneys says, "sorry, pda notes andreas"
The cigarette machine beeps, "Don't believe the reports - smoke today!"
Dr. Fumbles the Clown gasps, "elllp"
DEAD: Ghost (Kaksi Sanaa) laments, "the russian roulette of griefing"
Dr. Fumbles the Clown gasps, "HHeellpp"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) says, "Tell me, what do relaly fat people do?>"
Dr. Fisk  [145.9] says, "Would the real old felix stand up"
Dr. Fisk says, "Would the real old felix stand up"
Dr. Fisk  [145.9] says, "Oh wait"
Dr. Fisk says, "Oh wait"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) exclaims, "They live life, the same as the rest!"
DEAD: Ghost (Mr Sir) moans, "finally a rideable cat"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) says, "they're just a bit slower regarding phys. speed, bro"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) says, "I see"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) asks, "can I still call them lardo?"
Reginald B Farting  [145.9] says, "Help! I'm in jail"
Reginald B Farting says, "Help! I'm in jail"
Theo Wurst (as Unknown) exclaims, "you sure can!"
Billy Crystals says, "open door"