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[Campaign] ROBUSTING@HOME
Oh jeez not the hos. Crap I need something they'll believe they cant know I just got farted on by a botanist after smoking a potato. "The clown", I say, wandering off to the Lounge. Every hos knows that clowns are a force to be reckoned with.
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Wiggles Wigglesby (Test Subject)

Knock on the glass and wave at the MD. Point proudly to my new ID. Hold a piece of paper against the glass that says "hello Im hear to do inspecshun of treatment of nonhumans lik me and the clown".

If he lets me in, go take the clown's crayons. If not, start attempting to forcibly return my anesthetic tank to medbay via a window while screaming every few seconds.

Inventory
  • Worn: medical jumpsuit
  • ID: Wiggles Wigglesby (Staff Assistant)
  • Head: disgusting detective's hat
  • Back: backpack
    • anesthetic tank
    • gross saxophone
    • paper
    • crayons
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Alright, let's mop up some blood!
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Horatio Jiggles
I poke the crusher and use only one die because fortune favors the bold
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sorry for always not updating this. making a turn post rn

Rocco Berry [6]
You worry about the lukewarm response and decide to go consult with Tanhony themselves.
You chitchat with the chimp, when your PDA goes off. It's the HoP, the current one anyway-
"Hey what's this about my replacement? I'm due for holiday you know. Let's talk numbers"

That's pretty good.

Punch Monster [3]
You dont remember space being so... wet. But you're not one to shy away from dark moist crevices. Into the trench you go, searching for treasure and treachery. So far, not much of either.
Mentor PM from "Generic Mentor"; Read the changelog for once nerd.

Selladore Kaine [2]
You *flex but nobody is around to see it. damn.
You get back to your seed vendor and pop open the panel. Looks simple enough.
[6][3][5] - Bingo! Weed Seed in hand. Time to farm that bread.

Ada O'Hara [1]
Your tools pop out of the manufacturer one by one. You feel the weight of eternity upon your shoulders. The sins of your past will never leave you. No 6 can save you from yourself.
*ding*
Oh hey, the're all done. You now have tools.

Jack Jackson [3]
You observe the display of dominance over a silly toy.
You shout a few encouraging words to the boxer, but before long he's on his back. Huh, what an outcome.
You keep waiting, but nobody else shows up...

Adrian Clarke [1]
You offer the HoS your explanation: "uh, the clown?"
He frowns.
"The clown huh? this clown?" he points to a photo of the clown, dead, laid out in medbay. "Murdered, just a few minutes ago."
"Uhh, no a different one-"
He frowns again.
"Let's see this clown of yours bucko. Cmon." He shoves you out of security. The HoS is now following you. Can't go meet Jack like this.

Sam Eagle [4]
You slowly come to, in a pool of vomit. What the flying fuck. You start staggering around, but you can't quite understand people in this state, much less get their consent. Eventually, you stumble and drop your implanter. A passing engineer picks it up, implants herself, and runs away leaving the empty implanter behind. I guess thats one way to do it.

Wiggles Wigglesby [2]
The doc doesn't even bother to read what you held up to him. What a dick.

Luckilly, you come prepared- you start mercilessly beating the window in, and a crack begins to form.
After a few good slams, the glass is gone, but that exposed grille looks a little hard to avoid touching- not that that matters, because the Janitor just walked right in through the door.
...
you follow.

Kickflip Brozinski [4]
You see a monkey smash its way through a window. Seems par for the course.
You step outside to clean up the glass on the floor, and the monkey follows you back in.
It doesnt seem to be bothering anyone yet, so you focus on your nemesis; small amounts of blood on the floor. This clown is still bleeding.

Horatio Jiggles [5]

You poke the crusher. It feels cold.
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I leave the jazz lounge and make my way to security, where I see the HOS hassling my new best friend. Thinking quickly, I reach into the fire medkit I stole, pull out the medical scanner, and scan the HOS...
*gasp
"Head of Security sir! You have nanomachines in you! Don't worry, a staff assistant is always prepared!"
I shock the Head of Security with my defibrillator. While the HOS is out cold, I whisper something to Adrian, who lets me into security, where I continue shocking the Head of Security until I can get his beret off. Once I have the beret, I throw away my brown beret, put on the HOS' beret, and then pull out Ol' Stabby and slash the HOS' throat.
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Sam Eagle I try to pick up the implanter and continue on my route. Drugs are great.
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Why that cheeky sumb-- actually that's a good idea. I check the changelog and... No mention of cool stuff. Cheeky little dinks.

This is going nowhere, everything's wet and there's no artbeakers to be seen. This sucks. I find the closest thing to a space bar and throw together some pipebombs. And coffee. And Happy Elf.
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I scan the hos and say "Oh heck. He isnt lying. We need to get you a shock STAT HoS!" I drag the hos into security and assure the HoS that we will get these horrible little bugs out of his system ASAP.
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Ada is so busy with a bout of intense depressive introspection that she almost misses all of her tools. That was close. She would grab all the tools and head for science- specifically, chemistry. If she gets there unimpeded, she'd hunt around for a large beaker and situate herself at one of the two chemical stations.
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Wiggles Wigglesby (Test Subject)

Dance at the janitor. Wave at the MD. Flip off the clown.

Help myself to some of the clown's stuff. Ideally including any noise-making things (horn, PDA, shoes) and judge his crayon collection (or lack thereof). If he does have crayons, trade some of the boring colors in my pack for the most exciting colors in his pack.

Intersperse all of the above with occasional dances.

Inventory
  • Worn: medical jumpsuit
  • ID: Wiggles Wigglesby (Staff Assistant)
  • Head: disgusting detective's hat
  • Back: backpack
    • anesthetic tank
    • gross saxophone
    • paper
    • crayons
Reply
I poke the crusher once more, this time adding a little flair
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gonna write the next turn in a handful of hours, fyi, and from there hopefully get back on a more regular 24 schedule
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oh shit, I guess we've found the source of the problem
I will attempt first aid on the clown
Say: "You okay, buddy? Also, monkey, can you like, stop looting this dude long enough for me to have space to like, keep his blood from falling out?"
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Nobody around to see it? Wrong. Google Maps AI, always recording. I flex again and wink to the nearest camera, then go to pump that weed seed the heck UP at the plantmaster, and plant it. Then check the progress of my other plants.
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