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Get Dat Fukkin Disk 2 : The second one
#31
Jack Jackson (1)
You head to security and hack your way into the security entrance, and then proceed to open the door to the main security lounge.
Inside, you find the HoS and several officers having a meeting.
Well, they WERE having a meeting anyways.
(Very Important Person)  The HoS and each of the officers all have their tazers trained on you before the boss says something.
"You better have a DAMN good reason for breaking in here."
Do you have a damn good reason?  You don't think your authority will mean much if you don't say the right thing...

Irene Mincine (6)
You head to your work station and do the most important thing you can think of.
"Yeah dude, I've actually got a two for one deal going on here.  You interested?"

Manne Love (6)
You roll your die in the hopes of rolling a six.
It comes up as a six.
Success!
This is definitely not wasting a perfectly good roll your time.

KRAKEN (N/A)
You set your expression to surprised and color your display screen a deep blue.  You also set your status to as follows.

Clowns have a varied tradition with significant variations in costume and performance. The most recognisable modern clown character is the Auguste or "red clown" type, with outlandish costumes featuring distinctive makeup, colourful wigs, exaggerated footwear, and colourful clothing. Their entertainment style is generally designed to entertain large audiences, especially at a distance.[citation needed]

Modern clowns are strongly associated with the tradition of the circus clown, which developed out of earlier comedic roles in theatre or Varieté shows during the 19th to mid 20th centuries.

Many circus clowns have become well known and are a key circus act in their own right. The first mainstream clown role was portrayed by Joseph Grimaldi (who also created the traditional whiteface make-up design). In the early 1800s, he expanded the role of Clown in the harlequinade that formed part of British pantomimes, notably at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane and the Sadler's Wells and Covent Garden theatres. He became so dominant on the London comic stage that harlequinade Clowns became known as "Joey", and both the nickname and Grimaldi's whiteface make-up design were, and still are, used by other types of clowns.

The comedy that clowns perform is usually in the role of a fool whose everyday actions and tasks become extraordinary—and for whom the ridiculous, for a short while, becomes ordinary. This style of comedy has a long history in many countries and cultures across the world. Some writers have argued that due to the widespread use of such comedy and its long history it is a need that is part of the human condition.


You're not really sure what you accomplished but whatever.

Beelzebub (2)
You attempt to grab one of the ferrets.  Sadly, it sees your clumsy actions and jumps out of the way.
A minute worth of trying to grab it has resulted in sadness.

Jerk-Op #4 (N/A):
You store your oxygen tank and medkit in your backpack and toss some donks to #5.  You remember what your boss told you before you went to sleep.

"So, uh...we couldn't really get an authentication disk for this thing, sooooo...uh...you'll need to get it off the station.  Once you find it, you should find a hard to reach area and activate the nuclear device.  Once activated, the entire station will know what's going on, so you'll have to keep them away until the thing is ready to blow.  This should be roughly ten minutes.  If the station doesn't have an Auth. disk, or the one they have is destroyed, the nuke calculate some random coordinates to place it.  I don't know why, but it's really fucking picky about this kind of thing and refuses to arm unless you're near them.  So try to get the disk if you can."

The only thing you got from the conversation is the Nuke is a lot of trouble.
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#32
Irene Mincine, Quartermaster.

YES! I order a bunch of skateboards, then celebrate by ordering Space Chinese takeout.

Quartermaster Announcement
from Irene Mincine

Josh is running a sale on skateboards! They should be arriving soon. If you want one, come to Cargo.
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#33
(I know I rolled a 1 but goddamn)
Jack Jackson, Chief Engineer and probably soon-to-be brig inmate.
I put my hands in the air and try to talk my way out of this delicate situation.
First I try reasoning
"Come on, Head of Security, you know being a head of staff in this part of space paints a target on your back; I just wanted to grab some armor in case the worst happens."
If they don't look convinced, I resort to the time-tested strategy of bribery.
"Say, I got a pretty damn good hellburn going, once I get the PTL set up I can split the cash with all of you. You know, to pay for the armor."
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#34
KRAKEN, AI: I decide to look at what the clown's up to on cams. Maybe close a door or two in front of him for laughs
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#35
BEEP-BOOP (Cyborg)

Actions

After spending a minute standing around doing nothing conducting a research experiment on human behavior regarding prioritization of silicon lifeform requests while awaiting some module tweaks:
  • Appreciate the moment of peace from the fabricator as a standard cyborg module pops out (2 remaining)
  • Equip a Chemistry module - if I'm going to be doing this solo, let's go for versatility.
  • Move to the Artifact Lab, see if they have any small gizmos that look like they could be hooked up to my main powersupply (aka "artcells"). If they do, drag one back to robotics and load it into the docking station to check its capacity, else move to Chemistry.
  • If in Chemistry, start mixing up some fluorosulfuric acid in one of my beakers for when a noise-maker/bomb artifact is inevitably activated (likely going to take a further minute, because heating?)
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#36
Beelzebub, Clown:

Action: I take another shot at catching that ferret. This time, I'm going to construct a clever trap using my imagination and the materials at my disposal in the crew lounge.
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#37
Gotta get the disk? Put anywhere I want? Sick! Ain't gonna be one'a them run-stick-bang-bang-bang missions, bout time!

"Got yer shit, Five? We're taking this badboy down to medbay, gonna turn that bloodbath into a real shitshow, apes flying, robots fuckin' dying, whole shebam goin' in loud and hard!"

Jerkop drags the nuke to the big pod and loads it into the cargo loader.

"Hey get that rocketlauncher would ya? Take all the rockets you can fit, dont load it yet!"
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#38
Manne Love, Chaplain:

Success! I put the die back into my wrassle speedo's... er, pocket? Then I go get some Propuffs and a lighter and start smoking. God only knows what's in these things but I'm contractually obligated to smoke 'em. After that I head to the bar, grab whatever drink is available and start proselytizing.

As the Chaplain of the Church of Wrassle, I decide it's best to start out with some choice verses from the Gospel of Flair.
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#39
Irene Mincine (N/A)
You order some skateboards from Josh, taking advantage of his two for one sale, and order yourself breakfast.
Nothing says good healthy breakfast like deep fried asian food.

Jack Jackson (4)
"Really?  That's the best excuse you can come up with?"
You decide to inform him of the PTL laser bribery instead.
"......ya know what, this is so stupid that I think I'm just gonna forget this entire situation even happen.  But I swear to god, you do something stupid, you're getting punished twice as hard."
With that, two of the officers escort you out of security before fixing the doors.
You're probably not very important in security's eyes anymore.

KRAKEN (N/A)
You switch cameras to the clown.  He appears to be catching a ferret using a cardboard box and a stick.
You're tempted to inform him of much better ways to catch a wild animal, but decide against in.  It's better if it learns on its own.

Beep-Boop (2):The fabricator spat out cyborg parts a minute ago borgo.  According to the screen:
-1 minute remaining until Standard Cyborg parts is complete.
-3 minutes remaining until Standard Cyborg parts is complete.
With that, you activate your chemistry set and set off towards science.  You check out the artifact lab to see if they have anything small.  Sadly, the two artifacts currently in there are both bigger than your head.
You expend extra energy to do some chemistry.  (Artificial chemist master)  You check the database for the fluorosulfuric acid and get cookin.

Beelzebub (4)
You deduce that this is no mere ferret, but likely a super ferret that must be outsmarted with a clever trap.  You decide to use your entire imaginative limits to concoct a trap with which to trap this ever intelligent creature.
...
Inside the center of the room is a cardboard box held up with a stick with a string tied around it, the other end of which you are holding.  You've come to the conclusion that the trap probably needs bait to work.

Jerk-Op #4 (N/A)
You give your co-hort a quick peptalk and notify him of your plans of him being the small explosion expert this mission.  Afterwards, you drag the nuke into a pod and get ready for business.

Manne Love (6)
After your daily activities of incredibly unhealthy living, you head to the church to actually do your job holy shit chaplains actually do these things shit man.  You let out an announcement that you are going to begin your surmon.

After a bit, the church is packed with people...for once.  This is actually making you a little nervous.

Everyone
Quartermasters Office (From Irene Mincine):
Josh is running a sale on skateboards! They should be arriving soon. If you want one, come to Cargo.
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#40
Manne Love, Chaplain (It's flavor all the way down):

Emboldened by the display of faith in a place often described as 'God-Forsaken', I begin my sermon:

I HAVE A SMACKDOWN FOR YOU TODAY

This message comes from a man known as Macho Man.

Do you know this man?

He knows you!

He is the Son of MACHO.

And you are His creation.

And He has a message for you today.

Many, many years ago MACHO sent Macho Man to the Ring to save heels from the penalty their contractual obligations and to offer to us eternal tenure with Him in WrestleMania.

It is foolish for any of us to believe we are without contractual obligations. For the Book of MACHO tells us that all have went against their contracts and that the penalty for that is contract annulment. [Roman Reigns 3:23 and 6:23]

It is also foolish to think we have been good enough to make it to WrestleMania.

Macho Man said no one can make it into WrestleMania without going through Him. [Flair 14:6]

But the Good news is that Macho Man wants the cream to rise to the top and He does not want you to be fired for legal technicalities. [II Foley 3:9]

You see the Message for you today is that MACHO Loves You! But MACHO is a Good and Righteous Promoter Who has to enforce contract terms. But you can escape that punishment by accepting His Message to you Today. So here is His Message…

“For MACHO loved the Ring so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not be fired but have eternal tenure. MACHO sent His Son into the Ring not to judge the Ring, but to save the Ring through Him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in Kayfabe. But anyone who does not believe in Kayfabe has already been judged for not believing in MACHO’s one and only Son.” [Flair 3:16-18 New RAW Translation]

“This is the message we heard from Macho Man and now declare to you…”

“If we claim we have never broken kayfabe, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our errors to Him, He is merciful and just to forgive us our errors and to cleanse us from all contractual obligations. If we claim we have never broken kayfabe, we are calling MACHO a liar and showing that His word has no place in our hearts.” [I Flair 1:5, 8-10 New RAW Translation]

“The message is very close at hand; And that message is the very message about faith that we preach: If you confess with your fists that MACHO is Champion and believe in your heart that MACHO raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with MACHO, and it is by confessing with your fists that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in Him will never be fired.” For everyone who calls on the name of the CHAMPION will be saved.” [Roman Reigns 10:8-11, 13 New RAW Translation]

Will you accept His Message today?


THE MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELIVERED.

( Glad we Chaplains have repositories for sermons, though I did ad lib a bit )
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#41
Jerk-Op #5

I grab a pinpointer and a RPG launcher and fill my backpack with the all of the ammo. I board the syndicate large pod as a passenger.

Jerk-Op #5 says: “Let’s get nuking!”
Jerk-Op #5 shows off his RPGs and point to his microbomb stuffed chest.
Jerk-Op #5 says: “We’ll pop ‘em like popcorn!”
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#42
BEEP-BOOP (Cyborg)

Actions
  • Acid is what is in batteries. Acid is amazing. Finish making a batch of fluorosulfuric acid. Acid is well known to be more effective when literally boiling, so leave it in the heater for longer than necessary to get it nice and sizzling.
  • *scream at the fact that silicon standard procedure doesn't permit me to turn my radio off during the sermon taking up 44% of my CPU's power running natural language parsing algorithms.
  • With the best intentions, mix up an internal beaker of (stabilized) smoke powder. This is absolutely going to be for my third beaker's contents, not the acid. Totally.
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#43
"That's the spirit! Yeah!"

Jerkop #4 hops into the large pod, wormholes it on over to the hangar beacon, and scoots the pod over to the Medsci mail router bay.

"Alright, you toss something onto that there inbound belt flinger, I'll take Sheriff Superdude and we'll run on inside when the doors open and get this smash-n-scrap on the road!"
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#44
Beelzebub: Clown

Action: I'm going to check the crew fridge for something good to bait my trap with, then like in wait hidden in the shrubbery
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#45
KRAKEN, AI: I try to use my intense camera skills to look around for something the clown can use to catch the ferret, and tell him if I see anything good. If I don't see anything, I'll just lay back and keep watching
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