More Artifacts

[Salami Sam]

Kapow: Artifact releases a spring-loaded boxing glove, sending you flying. Activated on touch.

[Superlagg]

Got a fantastic idea from https://forum.ss13.co/showthread.php?tid=6053

Artifacts that give passive effects to their wearers. Stick them into an artifact belt or bandolier or something and they'll confer some kind of bonus and/or antibonus.

Could be temporary mutations, continuous injection of certain chems, converting certain damages into other damages, irradiating the heck out of you, making monkeys and robots hate you, popping your limbs off and hellbanning you from the game, anything really, sky's the limit.

Might even be worthwhile to add these passive effects to other non-specifically-passive-artifact artifacts, like those artcells nobody uses or who-fucking-knows-cus-it's-impossible-to-activate artifacts. And those largely shitty large artifacts could work too, just mumbo-jumbo in some kind of psychic nerd transducer ferret that you can link to the artifact and stick in your stalker suit.

Also something to counteract the damage immune, radioactive, WWF champion, lightning enchanted, multishot, YEE, deep fried turbonerd running around dropkicking people into Citadel. Maybe each artifact has some sort of dumb weakness that makes it suck, like radium makes it teleport into the crusher or it'll explode in the presence of religion or something. Or the artifact sash itself loses power if shot with enough electricity.

[Nnystyxx]

I would be more okay than most with the idea of randomly generated stat buff/debuff artifacts-- or just certain categories, like "hey, fire now is cold to you" or "you have great speed, but low stamina" or "while you're wearing this, you do immense damage but will gib in a single hit".

Granted, these would probably be a bit dangerous to test, but that's what makes artifact research hilarious.

[NateTheSquid]

i like the kind of cursed bonecharm angle. there'd have to be some that are just positive, like 'you have a little bit more stamina' or 'you sprint slightly faster' or whatever. but then yeah like 'you sprint insanely fast but have 10 stamina'

[locusts]

Artifact Robots.

These would appear on those artifacts that have something inside (bees, owl bomb, artbatteries etc.). They're similar to existing robots but can be better or bafflingly worse. Oh, and you can't turn them off.

Artifact Medibot - 50% of them inject omnizine, the other 50% inject omnizine and a cocktail of random chemicals from the artinjector list.
Artifact Securitron - Acts like a much more robust securitron, using something similar to the martian psychic knockout to ensure offenders don't get away. Has a 50% chance to decide something common and innocuous is contraband, eg. screwdrivers, PDAs, clown masks, etc.
Artifact Floorbot - Never runs out of tiles! Has a 50% chance to be able to pass through walls and to have a much wider range of detecting tiles that need flooring.
Artifact Cleanbot - Cleans in a + shape around it, making it much more efficient. 50% chance it also causes grass to grow where it has cleaned.
Artifact Firebot - Instead of blasting people with a fire extinguisher, it possesses an aura that automatically extinguishes fires around it, and attempts to move to people in need of aid. 50% chance it also freezes you in an iceblock if you stay next to it too long.

[poland spring]

I LOVE THESE BOTS

[Mordent]

Artifact bots/critters is a Good Idea.

[Frank_Stein]

Going further down this line of thinking: Artifact Borg frames/parts/modules

[Haprenti]

Artifact materials for special effects on floortiles, custom jumpsuits, glasses, etc.

[Dr Zoidcrab]

Robuddy: An inactive robot. Can be plugged into a robuddy port and have scripts uploaded to it. Module depends on tech type. For example the cyborg tech version could be one of those floating robots that shock you.

Bots could have different behaviour based on the tech type. I imagine an eldritch securitron wouldn't be too interested in arresting people, and martian floorbots and cleanbots might be more interested in terraforming.

[locusts]

Critter converter - Much like the borg converter, but it turns you into a critter instead. Wizard artifact only.
Teleporter - Teleports you to a random tile, or perhaps even a secret area!
Blood bank - Drains blood from you when you touch it. Dispenses random goodies in return.
Ghost Detector - Projects an aura within which ghosts are visible, as if you were wearing the ghost detecting goggles.
Transmitter - Acts as a speaker, projecting comms from all radio channels, even the secure ones like machine talk and the nuke ops line. Would also be a good place to hide solarium hints.
Age changer - Two types, one that lowers your age and one that raises it.
Identity shuffler - Randomises your physical appearance. Can change your sex, skin colour, hair, scream sound, fart sound, etc.
Pathogen source - Infects you with a random disease on touch.
Addictive - Gives you a random addiction on touch. Touching it again counts as fulfilling that addiction.

[awfulworldkid]

hell yeah I want to be addicted to piss

[Frank_Stein]

Something that might have been brought up before but I just remembered: Assembly artifacts

Simliar to building instruments, you take artifact pieces and combine them in different ways to create various tools. The mysterious nature of artifacts mean that even using the same materials could have different effects depending on order, or whether or not you expose individual pieces to different stimuli before, after, and during construction

[Lady Birb]

In the meantime I came up with ideas for all of the artifact securitrons. Someone else can come up with ideas for other artifact robots:
Due to the inherent lethality in most of their emagged variants, artifact robots, unlike normal ones, will instantly become active after being emagged, rather than being temporarily stunned before becoming active, meaning that if you emag one it is likely to immediately kill you.

• Eldritch: Uses that one spooky sound that stuns you through sheer dread to catch people. Has a high chance of deciding to just stab people to death rather than arresting them. Emagged ones will ALWAYS stab people it catches to death, and causes everyone nearby to hear the sound instead of just whoever it is targeting.
  
• Robotic: Uses arcs of electricity to catch people. Emagged ones will become mobile converter artifacts, cutting up and borging anyone it catches.
  
• Martian: Uses the martian's signature mental screech to knock people out for arrest. Emagged ones will use martian mutant's head exploding stare instead.
  
• Wizard: Uses magic missiles to stun people. Emagged ones use fireballs.
  
• Forerunner: Fires taser bolts that only take one shot to stun instead of two. Simple. Emagged ones fire disruptor bolts that insta-stun and deal a large amount of burn damage.
  

[LuigiThirty]

Artifact Buttbot: Makes fart sounds in addition to saying butt a lot. When emagged, brings back poo leaves a trail of compost wherever it goes.