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[Campaign] ROBUSTING@HOME
This is a nice one. 

Jack Jackson [5] and Adrian Clarke [6] VS THE HOS [5]
Jack Jackson is alerted to some difficulty in security and zips over to find Adrian and the HoS in an argument. 
You whip out a scanner and make some beeping sounds and declare: "Head of Security sir! You have nanomachines in you! Don't worry, a staff assistant is always prepared!"- Adrian Clarke backs you up, loudly dragging HoS back into security. This is enough distraction to zap him with your personal defibrilator. 
[3]
The HoS [1] is on the floor, heart stopped, gasping for air. 
This is the moment at which you look around you, and notice- [1] there's one more ordinary security officer in here. Your covers are blown. The radio screeches: 

[145.9] "We need backup in Sec! Two dudes are beating the shit out of HoS!!

Sam Eagle [2]
You pick up your implanter and continue wandering the halls, or at least you think these are the halls. Could be a bathroom, after all, you really can't see more than 2 feet ahead of you. 
You puke on yourself again. In a brief moment of clarity, you're greeted by a voice. 
it whispers: i'm coming for you 

Punch Monster [3]
You get bored of the trench and hit the wormhole option on your submarine. 
how the fuck does that work??
Paf. You're at the sea diner, with your old friends Bill, Don and Jack. 
Jack is dead. Odd. 
You purchase a coffee and get ready to work. 

Ada O'Hara [4]
You collect yourself as well as your new implements, and return to your workstation in chemistry. It looks like you haven't been missed, the place is well-used by now. Nonetheless you recycle yourself a large beaker and set down at a chem dispenser. 

Wiggles Wigglesby [5] vs Kickflip Brozinski [5]
Mr Wigglesby dances at Mr Brozinski.
Mr Brozinski dances at Mr Wigglesby.
Excellent.
Both step into the operating theatre with a look of duty.
Both approach the clown.
The Janitor tries to plug a few of these holes in the dude before mopping up.
The Monkey digs around in the holes to find cool prizes.
"Wiggles, can you uh, not? I'm trying to put this guy together"
Mr Wigglesby scribbles something on the clown's skin in crayon:
He's dead, and a jerk.
I take crayons
he has a good point.
Most of the clown's blood is on the floor, and most of his crayons are in the monkey's backpack. All is well
Wigglesby now has access to the full gamut of colors.
Brozinski has a lot of red. A LOT OF RED.

Horatio Jiggles [2]
You poke the crusher.
You have 1 arm now.

Selladore Kaine [5]
You flex again, at a camera this time.
say "; fuck" states [145.9] "nice"
You slam some cannabis seeds into the plantmaster and juice them to high heavens. Organic farming can suck your mighty underwater spaceman ass.
You plant your MONSTER ENERGY™ Presents SEEDS™ Cannabis Flavor! into your remaining plant trays.
Speaking of, those other trays look like they're ready to pick!
*flex
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Ah hell. Good thing not many people have security access so maybe we wont have anyone more run in. I leave Jack to deal with the stunned HoS, pull out two tasers, and start dual firing them at the other secoff to get him to shut up, with the goal of cuffing him and ripping off his radio.

Regardless of the outcome, I decide to use some badmin powers. I forceallsay "*fart".
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Sam Eagle I try to get my bearings as i feel along the corridor. Am I almost back to robotics yet. Also are there any more people to implant? These are my life questions right now
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Ada is in her native environment. Now time to do what literally every chemist will do, given the chance. Create an unthinkably cruel, needlessly painful and space geneva accord breaking chemical weapon.

She'll probably mix something up involving smoke powder, her choice of a fire delivery reagent, whatever sort of horrific poison she feels like mixing- and something to spice things up. Maybe an colorful reagent? Maybe LDM? Maybe it'll just be vomit. Fate will probably decide for her.
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Hi Bill, hey Don, what's up Ja--

Oh.

I'll avenge you later. Or sooner. Depends on if i get these pipebombs ready any time soon. I also pick out a mean additive for the bombs.
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A witness? Oh fu- wait he was too stupid to bother saying our names. Our cover isn't blown yet.

While Adrian takes tries to take down the hostile officer, I grab the Head of Security's energy gun off his belt and look back to the officer, if Adrian managed to down him, I get out Ol' Stabby and slash his jugular open (What? I have to get that edgemaster bonus somehow). If not I set the egun to lethal and open fire on the hostile officer, and only stop when his sprite goes horizontal or I am out of charge. When the officer is dealt with, I whisper something to Adrian and start cutting all the cameras in security.
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Wiggles Wigglesby (Test Subject Staff Assistant)

Thank the person trying to turn the clown into some sort of Frankenstein's monster with a flip and a boogie, then get on my way. I must have answers. Snag the clown's headset while I'm here, so I can actually listen in to what's going on on the... station? Submarine? Whatever.

Do a quick glance around for any good stuff to loot (medkits, syringes, defibs), stuff whatever I find in my pack, then get on my way. If no one opens the door for me after a few attempts, throw the janitor into it while dancing.

Note that this newbie admin is abusing his powers and open his player options panel to make him say "*burp".

Inventory
  • Worn: medical jumpsuit
  • ID: Wiggles Wigglesby (Staff Assistant)
  • Head: disgusting detective's hat
  • Back: backpack
    • anesthetic tank
    • gross saxophone
    • paper
    • crayons (very colorful!)
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...God damn it Wiggles. I frown mightily at him.
...There is a LOT of blood. This might be a job for the FLOOR BUFFER.
Time to hurry back to the office and get it!
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Adrian Clarke [1] vs SecOff [4]
You pull out your tasers and pew pew! missing literally every shot and draining both power cells. FUCK.
At least you've got THE BUTTONS-
You fart voraciously!
A short while later you burp, and burp, and burp, and burp. Is this a bug?
Anyways, you take care of some... official business [4]

Jack Jackson [4]
You wait to see if Adrian manages to down his target, you fart a little bit, and then pull out the HoS' E-Gun to assist, when -
An event occurs- option: [4] suddenly you're not holding an E-Gun. In fact, you're not holding anything at all- you can't even feel your hand. You reach over to where your right arm should be. Attatched to your torso is a russet potato, barely even visible under your jumpsuit.
You look with horror at your partner.
He says "you know the rules"
You take a second to finish-off the HoS with a slash across the neck, with your one good hand.

Sam Eagle [2]
You continue bumping into walls, asking people to guide you along to robotics. eventually you find a familiar landmark- you're at the entrance to the chapel. The smell from within in horrific. You slip on some gibs, and as you land, you let out a girly little toot.

Ada O'Hara [3]
You ponder your knowledge of evil chems and the time you have on hand.
Eventually you decide upon a more modest mixture of smoke powder, unstable mutagen, sulfuric acid, radium, and a touch of neurotoxin. Might not be sarin, but it'll hurt. You fill a pair of standard beakers with your mix and attach igniters and timers from the back room. And then you fart, incredibly loudly.

Punch Monster [1]
You salute the dead and mourn quietly inside.
You SHART. Time to make bombs?
You start looking around for the requisite materials but you're a little short. You find a can of welding fuel in the pod bay, but somehow steel is missing.
You decide to start tearing a wall apart for materials, but it's gonna take another minute.

Wiggles Wigglesby [4]
You grab the radio headset on the clown and suddenly, the world of telecommunication delivers itself to you. Then you-
You fart in your own mouth- what the fuck?
the logs say firebarrage did that... hmph You make Adrian Clarke burp like a fat pig. ha.  
You dance at the Janitor as he leaves, and grabbing a standard medkit, you follow him out of the operating theatre and back to the lobby.

Kickflip Brozinski [2]
The chimp looks satisfied despite your ire, but this mess is too much to tackle alone.
You let yourself and your... uh, colleague?- out of medbay and head for your office to get the buffer. You hear many, many farts echo down the hall, and your stomach grumbles.
This is the one. The one momma warned you about.
You fart so hard your ass nearly falls off.
You take a moment to collect yourself, and your pants, and make it to your closet.
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I go and pick the excellent array of nuts I've grown! Now, who was it who needed them...? I look back through my PDA list to refresh my memory.
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Ha. Farts.

I see that my aim is exactly how I remember it being. Uh. better take a more cautious route here. I take out my baton and cautiously approach the other security officer, trying to stun them, cuff them, and remove their radio. 2d6
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Sam Eagle Now that i have a landmark i head back to robotics and put together a shell for the AI by queuing up an interface board
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Hey! The rules don't say anything about not being able to tell a mindslave to use admin powers! Adrian is going to pay for that later, but right now there are more important things to do. I duck behind a table with the HOS's body, take his ID, then run into equipment storage to grab a taser and open fire on this annoyingly difficult to kill officer.
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Fuck these walls, I'm taking them the fuck apart, didn't do shit for fucking Jack.
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Only need one arm to poke anyhow. I do a quick ballet spin then reach out and dramatically poke the crusher
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