Overheard On The Station (And Elsewhere)

[Tom Clancy's Gay Ghost]

DEAD: Ghost (Unknown) laments, "well, i would have done better, if the fucking monkey didn't beat the shit out of me early on"

Same dude:

Mr. Clay's eyes emit a blinding flash!
Mr. Clay stares into Dr. Jalapeno's eyes!
Mr. Clay grabs hold of Dr. Jalapeno!
Mr. Clay has grabbed Dr. Jalapeno aggressively (now hands)!
Mr. Clay says, "yes...."
Mr. Clay says, "food"
Dr. Jalapeno spits acid towards Mr. Clay!
Mr. Clay is hit by the acid spit!
Dr. Jalapeno grabs hold of Mr. Clay
Dr. Jalapeno has grabbed Mr. Clay aggressively (now hands)!
Dr. Jalapeno has reinforced his grip on Mr. Clay (now neck)!
Dr. Jalapeno has tightened his grip on Mr. Clay's neck!
Dr. Jalapeno extends a proboscis!
Dr. Jalapeno says, "FOOD eeNDEED"
Dr. Jalapeno stabs Mr. Clay with the proboscis!

Changeling vs Vampire. Vampire has the upper hand but the changeling comes out on top.

Proves that vampires suck.

Both of those two were Scientists, as well. We kind of lost our way after declaring R&D a sovereign state thanks to the rude AI trying to stop us building butt transfer valve bombs.