Being the best/worst clown you can. Bad pun/joke thread.

[Conor12]

Please post jokes you use as a clown to "entertain" the crew.

Lost my watch at a party. Saw some guy stand on it. Walked straight up to him and punched him. No one does that. Not on my watch!

I have a poem:

You dig
I dig
He digs
She digs
They dig
We dig

It's not my best work, but it is deep.

If you ever feel cold you should stand in the corner.

It's 90 degrees!

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling.

The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, Can you all see me now?

Yes.
Oui.
Si.
Ja.

My drug dealer cracks me up!

Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no matches or anything to light them up with. What do they do?

They throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter!

Have you seen my henlay?
What's a henlay?
Eggs!