Online SS13-Themed DnD

[BruiseCruise]

Tonight's session's highlights include:
-A farewell ceremony for Elder! It took approximately two minutes before we started graffiti'ing his tasteful coffin.

-Accidental murder and a horrifically bungled cover up! As a joke, I gave a random janitor we met on our travels a playful noogie. However, I was apparently trained in the mystic arts of the Jock Assassin, as I turned her head into a soupy pulp. Reginald attempted to flush her corpse down the nearby toilet, but only succeeded in getting it horrifically stuck, fusing flesh with porcelain. I suspect the man is an alchemist. In the end Steve got us to drag the janitor-toilet and all- to genetics to have her cloned. Reginald proceeded to amaze the scientific community by failing to stop her cloning so hard she instantly popped out of the tank perfectly healthy. Fortunately she had no memories of her demise.

-Law and Order:In Space! Our team went to Sec to see if they had any jobs for us, and we found one! There was a trial to happen, but no lawyers. Our rag tag team was quick to step in and provide legal services to both parties. A security officer was being charged with assault of a staff assistant, while claiming it was self defense after he was mugged. Both sides left to investigate the crime scene, with me and Steve apparently being the only ones doing investigating. We found blood trails, a limbless witness, and even hid evidence! Meanwhile, Reginald and Valterak lounged about, before grabbing a nearby monkeyplant to seem like they were actually doing something.

-A trial! Both sides presented their cases, Val and Reg's revolving on smearing the new Security officer's reputation and pretending to speak monkey plant. Meanwhile, Steve and my case was centered on forensic evidence and logic. There were a few hiccups in the proceedings; accusations of forged credentials, the accidental killing of the Monkeyplant witness(it really was an accident, I swear ), and general bickering, however in the end the security officer was found not guilty, and justice was indeed served. It was served again in the form of a noogie-drilled hole through Reginald's skull when he got grumpy over his ruined courtroom debut.

That's pretty much everything I can remember. Big thanks to Fish for putting up with our idiocy and running this game. It's great!

I sincerely hope that was Fio getting atomic noogie'd.

That WOULD be the way I'd die, wouldn't it?