Goonhub
so this idea came about after seeing the rather disturbing phrase "clown milk" in an SCP article (The Circus of the Disquieting). With modification to not be horrifically inappropriate and instead be mildly comical yet dark enough to match SS13, I thus present the following idea for a new artefact.
The Automatic Juicer Artefact
![[Image: lWSpdQw.png]](https://i.imgur.com/lWSpdQw.png)
This new proposed artifact type has two variants, one benign, the other much less so.
Upon activation, it acts similarly to a prison artefact when touched by any living creature. For the first few seconds, it is thus indistinguishable from a prison.
Unlike a prison artefact, after 30 seconds has passed, it will release the imprisoned creature or person and spawn a regular bottle full of a consumable liquid named %ENTITY_TITLE% juice.
This name is taken from the job role of humans thus affected (For example, Janitor Juice), or if no job role is present, from their name; for non human creatures, this will simply be their name or species.
This liquid should be given some thought as to potential effects, from copying mutations if present from the juicee at one extreme or simply "tasting like <INSERT NAME HERE>" and being otherwise benign at the other extreme. It depends on what is feasable to program and add to the experience.
During operation, the artefact will appear to vibrate a'la the effect clone bay pods have when cloning someone, making a whirring noise, and a message will proclaim that the artefact is "squeezing" them from all directions.
In the malicious version, this will cause the individual to uncontrollably scream, with the message "You are being crushed!".
Once released, the benign version will have reduced the scale of the creature or entity to 75% of their original scale, but otherwise they will be unharmed.
The less benign version will release them at 50% scale, in critical, with sufficient bloodloss to allow for rescue if action is taken to relocate them to an aware and ready medbay or provide medical treatment.
In the special case of mimes and clowns, the juice thus produced will be rainbow coloured or black and white (or otherwise look mime-like) respectively, and if imbibed should ideally apply traits of mimery or clownery to the drinker. The clown milk in particular will "taste funny" because that sort of punnery is irresistable to me.
-kot
The Automatic Juicer Artefact
Artist's impression
This new proposed artifact type has two variants, one benign, the other much less so.
Upon activation, it acts similarly to a prison artefact when touched by any living creature. For the first few seconds, it is thus indistinguishable from a prison.
Unlike a prison artefact, after 30 seconds has passed, it will release the imprisoned creature or person and spawn a regular bottle full of a consumable liquid named %ENTITY_TITLE% juice.
This name is taken from the job role of humans thus affected (For example, Janitor Juice), or if no job role is present, from their name; for non human creatures, this will simply be their name or species.
This liquid should be given some thought as to potential effects, from copying mutations if present from the juicee at one extreme or simply "tasting like <INSERT NAME HERE>" and being otherwise benign at the other extreme. It depends on what is feasable to program and add to the experience.
During operation, the artefact will appear to vibrate a'la the effect clone bay pods have when cloning someone, making a whirring noise, and a message will proclaim that the artefact is "squeezing" them from all directions.
In the malicious version, this will cause the individual to uncontrollably scream, with the message "You are being crushed!".
Once released, the benign version will have reduced the scale of the creature or entity to 75% of their original scale, but otherwise they will be unharmed.
The less benign version will release them at 50% scale, in critical, with sufficient bloodloss to allow for rescue if action is taken to relocate them to an aware and ready medbay or provide medical treatment.
In the special case of mimes and clowns, the juice thus produced will be rainbow coloured or black and white (or otherwise look mime-like) respectively, and if imbibed should ideally apply traits of mimery or clownery to the drinker. The clown milk in particular will "taste funny" because that sort of punnery is irresistable to me.
-kot