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+--- Thread: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer (/showthread.php?tid=23011)
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New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - OutbackCatgirl - 08-01-2024
so this idea came about after seeing the rather disturbing phrase "clown milk" in an SCP article (The Circus of the Disquieting). With modification to not be horrifically inappropriate and instead be mildly comical yet dark enough to match SS13, I thus present the following idea for a new artefact.
The Automatic Juicer Artefact
![[Image: lWSpdQw.png]](https://i.imgur.com/lWSpdQw.png)
Artist's impression
This new proposed artifact type has two variants, one benign, the other much less so.
Upon activation, it acts similarly to a prison artefact when touched by any living creature. For the first few seconds, it is thus indistinguishable from a prison.
Unlike a prison artefact, after 30 seconds has passed, it will release the imprisoned creature or person and spawn a regular bottle full of a consumable liquid named %ENTITY_TITLE% juice.
This name is taken from the job role of humans thus affected (For example, Janitor Juice), or if no job role is present, from their name; for non human creatures, this will simply be their name or species.
This liquid should be given some thought as to potential effects, from copying mutations if present from the juicee at one extreme or simply "tasting like <INSERT NAME HERE>" and being otherwise benign at the other extreme. It depends on what is feasable to program and add to the experience.
During operation, the artefact will appear to vibrate a'la the effect clone bay pods have when cloning someone, making a whirring noise, and a message will proclaim that the artefact is "squeezing" them from all directions.
In the malicious version, this will cause the individual to uncontrollably scream, with the message "You are being crushed!".
Once released, the benign version will have reduced the scale of the creature or entity to 75% of their original scale, but otherwise they will be unharmed.
The less benign version will release them at 50% scale, in critical, with sufficient bloodloss to allow for rescue if action is taken to relocate them to an aware and ready medbay or provide medical treatment.
In the special case of mimes and clowns, the juice thus produced will be rainbow coloured or black and white (or otherwise look mime-like) respectively, and if imbibed should ideally apply traits of mimery or clownery to the drinker. The clown milk in particular will "taste funny" because that sort of punnery is irresistable to me.
-kot
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Lefinch - 08-01-2024
I really like this idea.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Kotlol - 08-02-2024
Not a bad idea and it's not an insta kill or change like a borg artifact.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Lord_earthfire - 08-02-2024
To be honest, when i saw the thread, i thought about a blender that turns crewmen into paste. I am slightly disappointed that it's not gibbing people. But i like the idea, make it tear out a few limbs and i think it would work great.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Emimiyu - 08-02-2024
(08-02-2024, 02:28 AM)Lord_earthfire Wrote: To be honest, when i saw the thread, i thought about a blender that turns crewmen into paste. I am slightly disappointed that it's not gibbing people. But i like the idea, make it tear out a few limbs and i think it would work great.
Maybe small chance of gib if the artifact breaks?
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - freedo5 - 08-02-2024
Having it make preexisting, but job appropriate chems could be fun too. Like clowns could produce honky tonic or rainbow fluid, a rancher would get you egg and the detective nicotini.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Cal - 08-02-2024
People absolutely are going to be weird about this. Will need major changes if implemented
That said I think it would be really funny if it produced a bottle of your mutant race blood (or sprayed it around the room) and skeletonized you
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Kotlol - 08-02-2024
(08-02-2024, 05:36 AM)Cal Wrote: People absolutely are going to be weird about this. Will need major changes if implemented
That said I think it would be really funny if it produced a bottle of your mutant race blood (or sprayed it around the room) and skeletonized you
Keep forgetting about the "WEIRD THINKERS"
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - OutbackCatgirl - 08-02-2024
(08-02-2024, 05:36 AM)Cal Wrote: People absolutely are going to be weird about this. Will need major changes if implemented
That said I think it would be really funny if it produced a bottle of your mutant race blood (or sprayed it around the room) and skeletonized you
you're absolutely correct, cal. i don't trust people to not be weird about things anymore lol
i also like your take on the idea a lot
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Glamurio - 08-03-2024
(08-02-2024, 05:36 AM)Cal Wrote: People absolutely are going to be weird about this. Will need major changes if implemented
That said I think it would be really funny if it produced a bottle of your mutant race blood (or sprayed it around the room) and skeletonized you
Literally came to post this. And also agree, repurposing this into basically a crusher that produces a bottle of blood that can pass on your appearance / mutations etc. and leaves varying amounts of you, missing limbs, skeleton or just gibs you entirely is probably a better idea.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - George_Manning - 08-06-2024
(08-02-2024, 05:36 AM)Cal Wrote: People absolutely are going to be weird about this. Will need major changes if implemented
That said I think it would be really funny if it produced a bottle of your mutant race blood (or sprayed it around the room) and skeletonized you
This seems like a fairly normal wacky thing to add that's onbrand for Goonstation.
If people are going to be weird about it, that's a moderation issue.
Plus, people that would be weird about this will just find other stuff to be weird about it its absence.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Chasu - 08-07-2024
[quote pid="205566" dateline="1723002383"]
George_Manning
This seems like a fairly normal wacky thing to add that's onbrand for Goonstation.
If people are going to be weird about it, that's a moderation issue.
Plus, people that would be weird about this will just find other stuff to be weird about it its absence.
[/quote]
Exactly, the occasional person being weird about it will either get a firm warning and stop, or get banned altogether, so that issue shouldn't really stand in the way of this idea.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Glamurio - 08-07-2024
(08-06-2024, 07:46 PM)George_Manning Wrote: If people are going to be weird about it, that's a moderation issue.
I actually disagree with this take. Certain phrases are weird, and they make people feel weird. It conflicts with some rulings about phrases we can and can't use. "Squeezing the juice out of Johnny" and "Johnny's juice" is weird and has connotations no matter how you moderate it. There's a reason we can insult people by calling them an asshole ingame, but we're not allowed to use genitals as insults. It just causes problems.
Relegating it to "crushing Johnny to a pulp" and "what's left of Johnny" is a better thematic fit that will avoid weirdness.
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - JOELED - 08-07-2024
(08-07-2024, 04:01 AM)Glamurio Wrote:(08-06-2024, 07:46 PM)George_Manning Wrote: If people are going to be weird about it, that's a moderation issue.
I actually disagree with this take. Certain phrases are weird, and they make people feel weird. It conflicts with some rulings about phrases we can and can't use. "Squeezing the juice out of Johnny" and "Johnny's juice" is weird and has connotations no matter how you moderate it. There's a reason we can insult people by calling them an asshole ingame, but we're not allowed to use genitals as insults. It just causes problems.
Relegating it to "crushing Johnny to a pulp" and "what's left of Johnny" is a better thematic fit that will avoid weirdness.
I completely agree with this. I think this is absolutely a scenario where boiling it down to "well the admins can just bonk the weird people" doesn't work. The original phrasing and concept invites it, that's why I hadn't commented on this before -- it made me uncomfortable lol
RE: New Artsci Artefact: Automatic Juicer - Cal - 08-07-2024
Still think this idea is great in the form of blending all of you and making you a skeleton and spraying your blood everywhere or something
maybe it randomizes your mutant race and spits out a gene injector for the original, or your old empty soulless body
very good base idea