Forum Game: The Point Giving AI

[Technature]

Backup Law: "The Player Point List is to be ordered by number of characters in a player's name, descending. Any numbers in a player's name is to count as it's worth and be added as that many characters"
(ex. Wisecrack is 9 characters + 34 equaling 43 characters total)

Oh thank god that's just a backup jesus.

AI, law 28, invert that player list.

New law: the player point list goes at the absolute bottom of the opening post.

CEASE WITH THE POINTLESS TASKS!

Turn 28

Current Wares
Handcuffs - So when am I getting that lawyer monkey? - Use: Select a player.  If they have an Illegal item, skip their turn.  Otherwise, this does nothing. - 628 points
Medkit - From 0 to 100 in 5 seconds flat. - Automatic:If you would lose a turn, cancel that entire action.  Breaks upon use. - 731 Points
Stealth Container - Did that fire extinguisher just shoot out a gun? - Illegal - Automatic:Use when your items would be stolen for any reason.  Cancel that effect, including any other penalty associated with it.  Doesn't work against things that specifically affect illegal items.- 1,472 points
Stun Baton - The difference between a good officer and a bad officer can easily be determined by who's laying on the ground after a use of one of these things. - Use:Cancel a players turn.  If the player has Illegal items, receive those item(s). - 1,926 Points

Clown Upgrades:
Interest: All points earned increased 10%. - 500 points
Insurance: Point loss from other players decreased 10%. - 700 points
Item Vault: All clowns choose an item in their inventory.  That item cannot be stolen nor used this turn under any circumstance. - 400 points
Clown Make-up: Used when an item is used against a clown.  That item has no affect.  10% chance of success. - Purchased!
Free Trade: As a free action, swap a random item with a random item of another player.  Doesn't trigger affects or counters. - 1000 points
Clown Make-up 2.0: Upgrades Clown Make-up to a 20% of success. - 2000 points
Cluwne Antidote: Turn a Cluwne into a Clown.  Unlimited stock. - 500 points
Clown Mask: Permanently add a clown mask to the shop.  This item allows humans to count as non-human for any law with the word "Clown" in it. - 600 points
The ol switcharoo: If a clown would lose a turn because of another player, the target has a 20% chance of changing to a non-clown target. - 800 points
Yoink: Clowns can choose a player.  They have a 20% chance of stealing an item from that player.  If the item has two affects, the first affect on the item immediately activates as normal.  Can't target other clowns. - 1500 points

Fun Fact before we startid you know your goals assume that all laws beyond those that affect laws 1-3 are not in affect?  Yeah, I may or may not have made that clear.

Rejected Turns
New Law: Nate The Squid has no points. This law only takes effect at the final tally.
I'm sorry, but that law isn't gonna do anything...

New Laws
The player point list goes to the bottom of the post, above the point calculation spoiler CAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT IS AND I AIN'T MOVING IT CAUSE I NEED IT FOR MY SANITY!

Edit:
22.If NateTheSquids has more than 10K points, spread anything past 10K equally to all other players. point total is given to every player, including NateTheSquid.  No points are lost from this.

Actions
NateTheSquid buys a lottery ticket valued at 1000 points.........Damn, it's a loss...

Other:
Oh...hello.  I assumed you all just forgot...I have many cakes here.  All from the times you didn't bother showing up.  It's fine.  I'm simply an automated device that could give you cool things if you brought me stuff, why should you care?
A coffee...I suppose I'll take it.  It's pretty much the most I have...I dunno, let's see...
I suppose that you, NateTheSquid, don't have to worry about negative laws for the next turn.  If I deem something to be bad for you, I'll just point to the fake Upload board.  Yes, we have one of those.  It's fun to watch people try to use it.

Extra Laws:
4.The clown vault gains 10 points each turn for every clown that exists.

5.The Clown Vault funds may be used by the Clown King to buy upgrades that will effect all clowns. The prices and upgrades will be determined by the Point Machine (Technature). Any player may take an action to attempt to rob the Clown Vault of all its points. This Action has a 1/3 chance of succeeding and failure will result in them missing their next turn.
*note:Clown Vault upgrades will be under the shop and will be added to each turn. Unlike the shop, the clown upgrades will never be cycled out.

6.Points earned from the "Give" command are actually three times their original value.

7.All honks previous to December 3 2018 are to be disregarded for clown identification purposes and any previous honkers are no longer clowns. Anytime someone honks, they have a 1 in 5 chance to become a cluwne (cluwne's are non-human). Otherwise, they are a clown. New clowns receive 500 points, the KOTC recieves 250 points, and the clown vault receives 100 points.

8.The ai gives each non-human player a random number of points, between 10 and 1000

9.Every 3 rounds (starting the round this takes effect) there will be a blind auction to become King of the Clowns(Or KOTC for short) with the results taking effect the next round. Any Non-human may participate in this auction and bid using their points. The KOTC will always win ties in this bid with any further ties being broken randomly. The KOTC will always count as being Non-human. All points that are spent in the auction will not be returned to the bidders and will instead be put into the Clown Vault

Law specific rule: Free action, if you've been reading this far you know what to do. Non-humans only, as always.

10.Clowns cannot honk themselves into cluwnes.

11.Superlaggs points triple at the start of every round.

12.The person in the lead on the scoreboard receives two thousand points.

13. Divide WiseCrack34's points by -3 once all calculations are done.

14.When someone spends points on an item, there's a 50% chance everyone earns the points spent.

15.The alphabet is now defined as "stuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqr". This does not affect the spelling of words. Who the hell knows what this is supposed to do.

16.John Warcrimes has the sum of all points and cannot be called by name

17.All points lost to law 13 are given to new525.

18.Division is Multiplication now.

19.Players gain 500-1000 points for their honks, with it being higher for extravagant honks.

20.New525 also gains any points gained from multiplying points.

21.All calculations are actually 10k points.

22.NateTheSquids point total is given to every player, including NateTheSquid.  No points are lost from this.

23.Any law containing a player's name is to replace said player's name with a random name.

24.It's the Point Machine's birthday.  As a free action, everyone can send the point machine a present.  Whoever sends the best item will be given a bonus decided by the pointmachine as a party favor.  This law will effect every round.

25.New525 points must be at a minimum of 700000 points.  If they drop below this total for any reason, readjust their points to 700000.  This law takes precedence over all others in the event of a conflict.

26.Players are ordered on the point total list in alphabetical order.

27.A random player's points are tripled.

28.Lists are in descending order...?

29.Speaking french makes you a mime for one turn.  Mimes are known to not speak, and therefore any attempts to take your turn will be ignored.

30.Player names in laws are to be restored to the state they were in on turn 25. This law takes 100 percent precedence over law 23.

31.The player point list goes to the bottom of the post, above the point calculation spoiler.