Forum Game: The Point Giving AI

[Technature]

AI, law 15.

What?  What about it............
...............!
Oh no...

15.The alphabet is now defined as "stuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqr". This does not affect the spelling of words. Who the hell knows what this is supposed to do.

Oh NO...

26.Players are ordered on the point total list in alphabetical order.

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Turn 26

Current Wares
Pickpocket Gun - Hey, where'd my wallet go? - Illegal - Steal and immediately use a random item off of another player.  If an item has multiple uses, that effect is used. - 53 Points
Bulletproof Vest - Guaranteed to stop Bullet related bleeding or your money back! - Passive:Prevent an item from affecting you.  Automatic.  Breaks on use. ~ 22 points
Stun Baton - The difference between a good officer and a bad officer can easily be determined by who's laying on the ground after a use of one of these things. - Use:Cancel a players turn.  If the player has Illegal items, receive those item(s). - 73 Points
QM Console - I'm sorry, could you repeat that?  You spent our money on WHAT!?! - Upgrade:Permanently increase the shop wares size by 1 item.  Used immediately - 500 points

Clown Upgrades:
Interest: All points earned increased 10%. - 500 points
Insurance: Point loss from other players decreased 10%. - 700 points
Item Vault: All clowns choose an item in their inventory.  That item cannot be stolen nor used this turn under any circumstance. - 400 points
Clown Make-up: Used when an item is used against a clown.  That item has no affect.  10% chance of success. - Purchased!
Free Trade: As a free action, swap a random item with a random item of another player.  Doesn't trigger affects or counters. - 1000 points
Clown Make-up 2.0: Upgrades Clown Make-up to a 20% of success. - 2000 points
Cluwne Antidote: Turn a Cluwne into a Clown.  Unlimited stock. - 500 points
Clown Mask: Permanently add a clown mask to the shop.  This item allows humans to count as non-human for any law with the word "Clown" in it. - 600 points
The ol switcharoo: If a clown would lose a turn because of another player, the target has a 20% chance of changing to a non-clown target. - 800 points
Yoink: Clowns can choose a player.  They have a 20% chance of stealing an item from that player.  If the item has two affects, the first affect on the item immediately activates as normal.  Can't target other clowns. - 1500 points


Rejected Turns
I divide half my points equally among all players.
Reason:I mean technically it's happening anyway?  The action got edited though so RIP.

Nate The Squid has a random number of points at all times (represented by a random Long Int generated at whatever time it is necessary to know). For the purposes of ranking and ordered lists, this total will be considered "0".
Reason: Due to the infinite possibility of numbers, this law would be impossible to follow.

Not rejected but you get a special "I hate you" sticker for doing this:
"Any law containing a player's name is to replace said player's name with a random player's name."

New Laws:
All lists are ordered in descending order.

Edit:
23.Any law containing a player's name is to replace said player's name with the player that uploaded the law a random name.  God help us.

Actions:
Wisecrack buys a mind-slave implant.
Wisecrack uses a mind-slave implant on New525.  Well, that's an awkward moment.
New525 Gives 826,380 points to each player...?  Something seems off...
NateTheSquid buys a Modified ID.

Other:
Law 11 is changed from Superlagg to Internet Dweller
Law 13 is changed from Wisecrack34 to He who shall not be named.
Law 16 is changed from John Warcrimes to He who shall not be named.
Law 17 is changed from New525 to NateTheSquid
Law 20 is changed from New525 to Superlagg
Law 22 is changed from NateTheSquid to New525
Law 25 is changed from New525 to John Warcrimes

Extra Laws:
4.The clown vault gains 10 points each turn for every clown that exists.

5.The Clown Vault funds may be used by the Clown King to buy upgrades that will effect all clowns. The prices and upgrades will be determined by the Point Machine (Technature). Any player may take an action to attempt to rob the Clown Vault of all its points. This Action has a 1/3 chance of succeeding and failure will result in them missing their next turn.
*note:Clown Vault upgrades will be under the shop and will be added to each turn. Unlike the shop, the clown upgrades will never be cycled out.

6.Points earned from the "Give" command are actually three times their original value.

7.All honks previous to December 3 2018 are to be disregarded for clown identification purposes and any previous honkers are no longer clowns. Anytime someone honks, they have a 1 in 5 chance to become a cluwne (cluwne's are non-human). Otherwise, they are a clown. New clowns receive 500 points, the KOTC recieves 250 points, and the clown vault receives 100 points.

8.The ai gives each non-human player a random number of points, between 10 and 1000

9.Every 3 rounds (starting the round this takes effect) there will be a blind auction to become King of the Clowns(Or KOTC for short) with the results taking effect the next round. Any Non-human may participate in this auction and bid using their points. The KOTC will always win ties in this bid with any further ties being broken randomly. The KOTC will always count as being Non-human. All points that are spent in the auction will not be returned to the bidders and will instead be put into the Clown Vault

Law specific rule: Free action, if you've been reading this far you know what to do. Non-humans only, as always.

10.Clowns cannot honk themselves into cluwnes.

11.Internet Dweller points triple at the start of every round.

12.The person in the lead on the scoreboard receives two thousand points.

13. Divide Recusor's points by -3 once all calculations are done.

14.When someone spends points on an item, there's a 50% chance everyone earns the points spent.

15.The alphabet is now defined as "stuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqr". This does not affect the spelling of words. Who the hell knows what this is supposed to do.

16.Recusor has the sum of all points and cannot be called by name

17.All points lost to law 13 are given to nateTheSquid.

18.Division is Multiplication now.

19.Players gain 500-1000 points for their honks, with it being higher for extravagant honks.

20.Superlagg also gains any points gained from multiplying points.

21.All calculations are actually 10k points.

22.If New525 has more than 10K points, spread anything past 10K equally to all other players.

23.Any law containing a player's name is to replace said player's name with a random name.

24.It's the Point Machine's birthday.  As a free action, everyone can send the point machine a present.  Whoever sends the best item will be given a bonus decided by the pointmachine as a party favor.  This law will effect every round.

25.John Warcrimes points must be at a minimum of 700000 points.  If they drop below this total for any reason, readjust their points to 700000.  This law takes precedence over all others in the event of a conflict.

26.Players are ordered on the point total list in alphabetical order.

27.A random player's points are tripled

28.Lists are in descending order...?

Fun Fact:
Time taken to do this turn:
Oh my god
I started this an hour before I was gonna go to bed
I was supposed to be asleep an hour and a half ago
fuck