Goonhub
11-10-2018, 12:13 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-11-2018, 08:05 AM by warcrimes. Edited 1 time in total.)
Jack Jackson [4]
*beep* hey, this card works. You let yourself into the HoS' office and find his starting junk strewn about. You help yourself to his starting inventory and then announce your succession:
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE HEAD OF SECURITY:
"God dammit everyone on this station is a fucking idiot. I am killing myself and making the biggest asshole on the station, Jack Jackson, the new Head of Security. Go whine at him if you numbnuts have any complaints about security."
Let's see how that goes?
Adrian Clarke [3]
You wish the AI good luck as it speeds off to robotics.
And here you were, hoping for an excuse to make its head spin.
You head back inside to guard your hostage and dance a little to keep him entertained.
He merely shouts obscenities at you in return.
Sam Eagle [4]
You set up your queue and then play some tunes on your antique peeno.
Shortly after you start the machines up, say "; fuck" shows up and begins dancing along. This is pretty good.
Punch Monster [1]
You drag Shitty Bill to medbay. When you attempt to step inside to steal some medkits, the doorway scanners flash red and whine plaintively. oh yeah, the contraband.
Ada O'Hara [5]
You let yourself into Toxins and pick up a mask, an emergency oxytank, welder and steel.
You don the mask, slip the tank in your pocket, and the rest into your bag.
Wiggles Wigglesby [6]
You push the monkies out one by one, all the while their geneticist handlers are still much too engrossed with their consoles to notice anything.
Quite unfortunately, the apes still aren't speaking to you. Have you offended them?
Selladore Kaine [2] vs Rubber Johnson [4]
You flash Johnson a smile. "If you know what's good for you..." you point your gun at him.
He grabs the bag of produce and empties it all around him. "You won't do it, selly. Try it"
What a fucking mess.
Kickflip Brozinski [1] vs Flesh Utopia [6]
You stop running and turn to face the clown, ready to clobber him-
as soon as he's in range you shake him, trying to wake him up - oh for fucks- CTRL+4, aim, and-
PAF.
You're on your back again.
Flesh Utopia farts on you.
He runs off and steals your buffer.
Flesh Utopia says [145.9] "Ive run off and stole your buffer, nerd"
*beep* hey, this card works. You let yourself into the HoS' office and find his starting junk strewn about. You help yourself to his starting inventory and then announce your succession:
ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE HEAD OF SECURITY:
"God dammit everyone on this station is a fucking idiot. I am killing myself and making the biggest asshole on the station, Jack Jackson, the new Head of Security. Go whine at him if you numbnuts have any complaints about security."
Let's see how that goes?
Adrian Clarke [3]
You wish the AI good luck as it speeds off to robotics.
And here you were, hoping for an excuse to make its head spin.
You head back inside to guard your hostage and dance a little to keep him entertained.
He merely shouts obscenities at you in return.
Sam Eagle [4]
You set up your queue and then play some tunes on your antique peeno.
Shortly after you start the machines up, say "; fuck" shows up and begins dancing along. This is pretty good.
Punch Monster [1]
You drag Shitty Bill to medbay. When you attempt to step inside to steal some medkits, the doorway scanners flash red and whine plaintively. oh yeah, the contraband.
Ada O'Hara [5]
You let yourself into Toxins and pick up a mask, an emergency oxytank, welder and steel.
You don the mask, slip the tank in your pocket, and the rest into your bag.
Wiggles Wigglesby [6]
You push the monkies out one by one, all the while their geneticist handlers are still much too engrossed with their consoles to notice anything.
Quite unfortunately, the apes still aren't speaking to you. Have you offended them?
Selladore Kaine [2] vs Rubber Johnson [4]
You flash Johnson a smile. "If you know what's good for you..." you point your gun at him.
He grabs the bag of produce and empties it all around him. "You won't do it, selly. Try it"
What a fucking mess.
Kickflip Brozinski [1] vs Flesh Utopia [6]
You stop running and turn to face the clown, ready to clobber him-
as soon as he's in range you shake him, trying to wake him up - oh for fucks- CTRL+4, aim, and-
PAF.
You're on your back again.
Flesh Utopia farts on you.
He runs off and steals your buffer.
Flesh Utopia says [145.9] "Ive run off and stole your buffer, nerd"