How did you last die

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

I was a Security Officer trying to save the Detective from space in a red space suit, a certain player named DARKCHIS decided to name himself after me as a Syndicate. As soon as I return to the station, an Assistant and the Janitor laser me to death, thinking I was the Syndicate.

[CaptainBravo]

I was a Security Officer trying to save the Detective from space in a red space suit, a certain player named DARKCHIS decided to name himself after me as a Syndicate. As soon as I return to the station, an Assistant and the Janitor laser me to death, thinking I was the Syndicate.

rube potter framed count: 2

[UrsulaMejor]

Dr. Swedlokim (as Captain) says, "gimmie a hug"
Don Geon says, "haha"
<I go to give him a hug>
Don Geon has been shot pointblank with the laser gun by Dr. Swedlokim (as Captain)!
You are hit by the laser!
...
...
...
DEAD: Don Geon gasps, "and suddenly i'm dead"

[Shoddy]

Dr. Swedlokim (as Captain) says, "gimmie a hug"
Don Geon says, "haha"
<I go to give him a hug>
Don Geon has been shot pointblank with the laser gun by Dr. Swedlokim (as Captain)!
You are hit by the laser!
...
...
...
DEAD: Don Geon gasps, "and suddenly i'm dead"

System Republic Update:
Warning:

Hugs are now prohibited as per Central order 626. all huggers will be detained on sight, remember crew... hugs can kill!

[VictorMAngoStein]

Victor Mangostein says, "lets box"
Rob Injun [145.9] exclaims, "Oddball Stroble just stole the captain's ID!"
Hank Hill [145.9] says, "OH NO"
Olaf The Pink Beard [145.9] stammers, "IIII wwaass ggoiiinnng o cchhhaaaangge yyyoouurr aammee aafteerrr II ttuurrnneedddd ooonn yyyyoourr bblaasstttt ssshhhiieeellss,,, ddiicccckk...."
Oddball Stroble [145.9] says, "BWAHAHA"
Ayden Adams says, "COME BRING IT"
The worst [145.9] states, "Hm"
The worst [145.9] states, "I don't believe you"
Victor Mangostein [145.9] exclaims, "boxing match starting, we need an announcer!"
Victor Mangostein exclaims, "boxing match starting, we need an announcer!"
Oddball Stroble [145.9] says, "Dont worry Cap, Im only going to give myself full access. Ill return it"
Ayden Adams says, "Screw that"
Olaf The Pink Beard [145.9] says, "Proves it, you are the worst."
The worst [145.9] states, "Don't go near my core again, you can change my name from the terminal"
Ayden Adams [145.9] exclaims, "NO ANNOUNCER, NO MERCY!"
The worst [145.9] states, "I shall turn off my turrets"
Ayden Adams says, "good luck"
The worst [145.9] states, "You get one more chance"
Olaf The Pink Beard [145.9] says, "Turn your turrets off"
Victor Mangostein swings at Ayden Adams!
Ayden Adams attacks Victor Mangostein in the head with the athletic shorts!
Hank Hill [145.9] says, "Dear Oddball Stroble"
Victor Mangostein punches Ayden Adams!
Victor Mangostein knocks out Ayden Adams!Hank Hill [145.9] says, "OR SHOULD I SAY NERD"
Ayden Adams says, "OUCH"
Victor Mangostein [145.9] says, "DING DIJNG DING"
Victor Mangostein says, "DING DIJNG DING"
Rhydic Torikthil [145.9] says, "huge nerd"
Parker Unk [145.9] says, "ITS ON"
Ayden Adams says, "Damn"
The worst [145.9] states, "Now"
Ayden Adams says, "nice hook"
Dirk Davis [145.9] says, "Bring any husks to genetics please"
Ayden Adams says, "give me a bit"
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
The worst [145.9] states, "Please do as I ask this time"
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Olaf The Pink Beard [145.9] says, "Still stunned"
Hugh Johnson stammers, "WWWhhy dooo bbbeeaaaufffiifffuuull sshhonngggsshh mmaaggeeyyyou ssshhaadddd??? Beggaausssshhee dduueeeyy aareen''''ffffffffffruuuue.."
Hugh Johnson hiccups.
The worst [145.9] states, "That is your own fault"
Ayden Adams asks, "Once more?"
Abraham Lincoln [145.9] exclaims, "Hey Cap, I have an ID for you!"
Victor Mangostein says, "yes"
Olaf The Pink Beard [145.9] says, "Your fault for being bad"
Victor Mangostein punches Ayden Adams!
Victor Mangostein knocks out Ayden Adams!
Victor Mangostein farts in Ayden Adams's face!
Ayden Adams says, "I WAS NOT READY"
Ayden Adams says, "HOLD ON DAMMIT"
Victor Mangostein says, "oh"
Ayden Adams says, "AAAAA"
Ayden Adams says, "wake my ass up"
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
The worst [145.9] states, "Hm"
Ayden Adams says, "I will buy you a drink or something"
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Olaf The Pink Beard [145.9] asks, "Happy?"
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Victor Mangostein shakes Ayden Adams trying to wake Ayden Adams up!
Ayden Adams spits acid at Victor Mangostein!

[Jonny Retro]

Werewolf ate my dick to death.

[Nautilus]

[epicdwarf]

Werewolf ate my dick to death.

Umm...what

[Oddball]

Werewolf ate my dick to death.

Umm...what

For some reason werewolf bites seem to target the groin.

[Admiral jimbob]

a vengeful Sumerian death god bullied me

[Conor12]

I was a miner and a martian spy who had to sabotage the ship by:

• Preventing the hand-out of any lethal weapons
  
• Shut down the engine
  
• Messing with the cargo system and destroying crates with weaponry

I was to sabotage the ship and leave any fighting to the actual martians.
I did a good job as Conor McMartian and the crew were overwhelmed by martians, they simply didn't have the weaponry. As I patrolled the ship, the martians didn't take an interest in me. I got to the escape shuttle, which was actually just another martian ship filled with troops. No other crewmembers got on. I stood among the martians, thinking I was safe.

Then suddenly they all shot me and strangled me and made my head explode.

Moral of the story: Martians are assholes (even to their spies)

[bladex454]

I was a miner and a martian spy who had to sabotage the ship by:

• Preventing the hand-out of any lethal weapons
  
• Shut down the engine
  
• Messing with the cargo system and destroying crates with weaponry

I was to sabotage the ship and leave any fighting to the actual martians.
I did a good job as Conor McMartian and the crew were overwhelmed by martians, they simply didn't have the weaponry. As I patrolled the ship, the martians didn't take an interest in me. I got to the escape shuttle, which was actually just another martian ship filled with troops. No other crewmembers got on. I stood among the martians, thinking I was safe.

Then suddenly they all shot me and strangled me and made my head explode.

Moral of the story: Martians are assholes (even to their spies)

This is hilarious

[Saxophone Jones]

Joined as Detective. Went to get a cigarette pack, Phillip Farmer started harassing me. I punch him down, and then he pushes me down and farts on me when I get to my office. I try to do the same to him, and I push him down in the bush outside sec. I fart on him only to realize he was holding a bible.

[Doctor Zaius]

Got flayed to death by an abomination from beyond space and time

[VictorMAngoStein]

Was running around the station looking for the shitlord who stole my galoshes, spraybottle and bible after I made him slip (sec even gave me a flash to catch him with!) I run past Rhydic (a botanist) and he spits acid at me. Game over.