Posts: 141
Threads: 59
Joined: Sep 2012
I died in pursuit of great hair for all mankind, as to be expected it ended with me a pile of gibs. hear is the story
got a late night traitor round and decided to completely ignore my goals and just ordred a surplus crate, from which I got a dagger, duct-tape, a revolver box, a flare gun, and a closet I promptly lost. with my new found loot i decided to give people cool hair. I go to the AI and upload "only cool hair is human" and get to work. my first victim was Rafael Cox who volunteered. the genetics appearance changer decide to bug out and make his sprite invisible, he immediately did the only sensible thing and got naked and I lost track of him for a while. my next victim was Oddball Stroble as the HoS, he was wandering around gentices cloning the captain. seeing my chance I throw my dagger at him and cuff him with the duct-tape and give him siren hair, a fro that rapidly blinks between red and blue, while he's doing this hes begging for his life or something, I wasn't really paying attention. after I give him cool hair and free him he is so pleased with his hair he forgets about the stabbing and thanks me for the hair. I wander around doing this to people for a while and most of them forgive me eventually I see Rafael again because he got hurt and was now covered in blood he was a floating blood staind, a floating pair of bloody hands, it was kinda creepy. eventually a few people get mad and start trying to kill me with a few people protecting me, it was a big ol' cluster fuck and I had implanted myself with a micro bomb, so if I died a bunch of people were losing arms. this goes on for a while and eventually I hide in a morgue cell while the detective arrests the HoS for protecting my antics, seeing this I suddenly remember that I got a revolver from my crate. so then I pull out my gun and jump out of my hiding place and shoot the detective dead, oddball decides to overlook this offence. just then some other jerk trying to kill me walks in so I unload my flare gun on him and he is a inferno, a nearby borg prevents his death but oddball says I gotta go to the slammer for this one. I decide to comply because I was bleeding to death. on the way to jail we encounter some guy with a e-sword and oddball disarms him, unfortunately it seems that the guy with the sword had actually just stolen it from a traitor who picks it up and chases oddball off. thanking my luck I start to uncuff myself when I see a floating blood splatter walk up, it was Rafael. he uncuffs me and I wander over to crew quarters to get a medpack and hear over the radio oddball had died. rip. I contiune fucking around for a while longer, get mutant frost powers, use these powers to make bad puns, and give some more people cool hair. near the end of my hair crusade the AI had bolted me in genetics citing safety concerns for me, I argue a bit, oddball gets cloned, when suddenly the screen starts to shake and I hear a kaboom. some one had planted a bomb next to genetics. I did not survive.
rip cool hair
Posts: 275
Threads: 8
Joined: Nov 2012
hipBEE Wrote:I died in pursuit of great hair for all mankind, as to be expected it ended with me a pile of gibs. hear is the story
got a late night traitor round and decided to completely ignore my goals and just ordred a surplus crate, from which I got a dagger, duct-tape, a revolver box, a flare gun, and a closet I promptly lost. with my new found loot i decided to give people cool hair. I go to the AI and upload "only cool hair is human" and get to work. my first victim was Rafael Cox who volunteered. the genetics appearance changer decide to bug out and make his sprite invisible, he immediately did the only sensible thing and got naked and I lost track of him for a while. my next victim was Oddball Stroble as the HoS, he was wandering around gentices cloning the captain. seeing my chance I throw my dagger at him and cuff him with the duct-tape and give him siren hair, a fro that rapidly blinks between red and blue, while he's doing this hes begging for his life or something, I wasn't really paying attention. after I give him cool hair and free him he is so pleased with his hair he forgets about the stabbing and thanks me for the hair. I wander around doing this to people for a while and most of them forgive me eventually I see Rafael again because he got hurt and was now covered in blood he was a floating blood staind, a floating pair of bloody hands, it was kinda creepy. eventually a few people get mad and start trying to kill me with a few people protecting me, it was a big ol' cluster fuck and I had implanted myself with a micro bomb, so if I died a bunch of people were losing arms. this goes on for a while and eventually I hide in a morgue cell while the detective arrests the HoS for protecting my antics, seeing this I suddenly remember that I got a revolver from my crate. so then I pull out my gun and jump out of my hiding place and shoot the detective dead, oddball decides to overlook this offence. just then some other jerk trying to kill me walks in so I unload my flare gun on him and he is a inferno, a nearby borg prevents his death but oddball says I gotta go to the slammer for this one. I decide to comply because I was bleeding to death. on the way to jail we encounter some guy with a e-sword and oddball disarms him, unfortunately it seems that the guy with the sword had actually just stolen it from a traitor who picks it up and chases oddball off. thanking my luck I start to uncuff myself when I see a floating blood splatter walk up, it was Rafael. he uncuffs me and I wander over to crew quarters to get a medpack and hear over the radio oddball had died. rip. I contiune fucking around for a while longer, get mutant frost powers, use these powers to make bad puns, and give some more people cool hair. near the end of my hair crusade the AI had bolted me in genetics citing safety concerns for me, I argue a bit, oddball gets cloned, when suddenly the screen starts to shake and I hear a kaboom. some one had planted a bomb next to genetics. I did not survive.
rip cool hair That's a beautiful story 
Posts: 828
Threads: 31
Joined: Jan 2013
On a very similar note, I created and drank a chemical concoction of pure insanity.
I promptly exploded into a shower of gibs with the message:
Oh god. Too much hair!
Posts: 2,612
Threads: 147
Joined: Oct 2012
Probably one of my most glorious deaths.
I was letting a traitor out of the brig, only to be blown up from a overloaded shocked door and literally launched out of the adjacent thermited wall and into space beside the solar panels. My death was instant, and completely unexpected.
Posts: 1,000
Threads: 40
Joined: Sep 2013
Sundance Wrote:Door'd into space
Yeah, that was probably me. I was doing a powerglove thing and kept urging the AI to shock doors in order to let him enjoy himself.
I was so mad when he stated my OneHuman law, though, right when I was done uploading it. I actually started writing a scorched earth suicide law on the freeform module but decided against it. Glad to hear that decision paid off.
I kept hearing sporadic explosions across the station, thinking it was some other traitor being dastardly, but in retrospect I think it was actually just people getting blown up by the doors. 
---
My latest death must have been when I was experimenting on the engine, getting ready to try a new burn. When it was set up and ignited some rude dude blows up the CE's PDA right as he's checking the engine output. The room quickly fills with burning gases and becomes unusable in a flash.
Therefore, I decide to do the only thing left to me: get absolutely smashed in the bar, bringing the entire booze locker to escape before finally dying in a contest of russian roulette with the barman. It was not glamourous or dramatic, but I'll be damned if it didn't feel right!
Posts: 1,912
Threads: 370
Joined: Mar 2013
BYOND Username: babayetu83
Character Name: Discount Dan, Benjamin Sisko
Posts: 311
Threads: 4
Joined: Dec 2012
I discovered a very important science fact.
Lava doesn't give a shit if you are immortal or not.
Posts: 518
Threads: 29
Joined: Sep 2013
(Traitor me) *starts slapping the crap out of everyone on the shuttle*
*a staff assistant throws the bible at me*
one minute later..
"Dan Mc Stan, you cant fart for crap!"
I took the bait.
Dan Mc Stan farts on the bible!
A mysterious force smites Dan Mc Stan!
Posts: 68
Threads: 8
Joined: Nov 2012
Boxbot waves.
Boxbot waves.
Boxbot waves.
Honk.ogg is trying to take off an emergency gas mask from Boxbot's head!
Brett Harrison (as Boxbot) seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
nobody likes boxbot
Posts: 757
Threads: 26
Joined: Sep 2012
I am rising up the levels of chemistry
EDIT: Well now I'm #1 for highest burn damage on death, and Huk should have stood back.
I can definitely go higher than that, however, the 15400 damage one put some strain on the server and it kept saying '2' over and over. That can't be good.
Posts: 20
Threads: 1
Joined: Oct 2013
I died of an evil chef and a terrible gambling addiction.
So bad I kept gambling even after he killed and gibbed me... and only then did I win the jackpot.
Posts: 6
Threads: 0
Joined: May 2013
So I got grabbed by a vampire while screaming about ghosts and taking pictures. As we all should know, you can't succumb when a vampire is feeding. Then he stopped feeding, not finishing the job. I was eventually able to succumb but it didn't work. I tried suiciding and that didn't work. Then I restarted the game and was suddenly able to see but I could not speak, most, or hear as though I was still unconscious. I decided to entertain myself like any sane person would do. I spaced for easier reading. Add-Note:
Day 1 of half-life: I can see another man from across the counter. Alan Stewart. I can see him looking as blankly as I and yet, he is lifeless. Fully lifeless. How I envy you, Alan Stewart.
Day 2 of Half-Life: I can hear people talking and yet I am unable to make out the words. Was it the gods trying to fix me? Was it tormentors just picking at my inability to comprehend... It makes me angry. At least I have Alan.
Day 3 of half-life: I can feel the cold, tingling sensation of death and yet it only surrounds me, never entering. Never stopping my ever-beating heart. The Grim Reaper is demanding tickets for that train but an Assistant doesn't get paid enough. Fucking job. Fucking Alan. I'm sorry Alan, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
Day 4 of half-life: My head is ringing. I can stil her those fuking voics. screeming, hating. haTing me. Alan. Alan nows best. Knows best for me. Reenging... riiinging... what do the speak? what do know?
Day 5 of half-life: I've calmed myself. Alan has talked sense me. Sense into me. I can still hear the voices but they have calmed considerably. My mind pen runs short on ink, how does that even make sense? What if we're all just chapters and mine is just a scribbling pen. Run out of ink, pen, run the fuck out of ink you fu------------ *rage induced scribbling* -----. *Polite period*
Day 6 of half-life: SHUT UP SHUT UP! Fucking shut up! Alan wont stop talking. That's the whispering. IT's Alan, he wont. HE WONT SHUT UP! I KEEP TRYING TO YELL AT HIM BUT I CANT! SHUT UP ALAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING ROTTING ASS UP!
This is a floor. This is Printer. This is Personal Computer. This is a security camera. This is a floor. This is Power Room. This is Electrical Supplies. This is Danger: High Voltage. This is Notice Board. I-spy with my little eye. Always watching. Always spying. I-spy with my little eye: This is SECURE AREA.
Alan I'm sorry. Alan. alan plese stop talking Alan. Please. Alan I'm sorry please stop talking alan please stop talking, I want out of here Alana please stop talking please please please please pleese alan stop talking i am afraid alan.
Day ? of Half-Life: I've mustered my all into this message. It is only now that I have realized that the computer I have been watching- I see light. HELP HELP! IM IN HERE HELP ME FUCKING HELP ALAN YELL AT THEM AL!!N!!#
Time of death: 16:14:52
Day ? of Half-Life: I failed to get the light's attention. I can see it hover passed from time to time but I have grown tired of trying. So tired... It seems as though I will just have to come to terms with what has happened here today. It seems as though I must just wait for the- I AM DEAD#
Posts: 828
Threads: 31
Joined: Jan 2013
BadBlanket Wrote:Stuff
Congratulations, you win the thread.
Posts: 1,246
Threads: 15
Joined: Oct 2012
Are you sure you weren't dead? If you die in a deaf body, you won't hear ghosts and you won't hear yourself talking to them.
Posts: 3,072
Threads: 272
Joined: Dec 2012
Marquesas Wrote:Are you sure you weren't dead? If you die in a deaf body, you won't hear ghosts and you won't hear yourself talking to them. During the time when this bug was prominent, you could be dead and still alive, as well as unconscious and still awake. All being unconscious did was deafen you and render you unable to pick things up.
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Goonhub
