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Youkcat (1): AwfulWorldKid took off like some kind of idiot.
You know what would be funny?
If he was given a plan COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what the actual plan is.
Just to spite him.
As one might expect, the shotgun is very difficult to craft to the pod in a workable way.

Frank_Stein (2): You make your way to the kitchen.  Upon reaching it, you notice that you don't have access to where the captain currently is and cannot reach him.
Fuck it, you tried.

NateTheSquid (3): You salute to anyone that passes by.  As one would expect, this isn't hard to do.  As one might also expect, it doesn't really accomplish anything.
Your bleeding is starting to affect your vision. You should probably get that looked at.

Superlagg (5): You attempt to drag yourself to medbay.  Luckily, a patrolling medical officer notices you and transports you to medbay much quicker than you could hope to yourself.
You don't think you can do much for the next minute as your leg is sewn back on.

NesMettaur (4): PDA packet construction goes off without a hitch.  However......

Noah Buttes (5): You continue to spread the falsehood that you never existed.

fosstar (3+): You get together some Health Kits and run off to do your job.  It's a simple typical day, so you don't see a need to bring anything but the essentials.  You take a defibrillator though, just in case.

Bologna Prime (2): You transfer the funds into shipping and go to order the novelty clothing.........wait, why does shipping say it has no funds?
Wait, did you push the "Deposit all" button or the "Withdraw all" button?

New525 (6):  You look at your bloody picture of the murderer clown that killed your family.
You look at it, renewing your hatred for clown kind.
+ vs. clowns.

a pleasant hug (4, engineer) (2): Your breath mask is in your box.  Unfortunately, you don't have an emergency air tank.  Your attempt to find one nearby is in vain, as someone apparently looted the arrival shuttle.  Your trinket is your father's lucky ketchup bottle.  You don't know why it was his lucky bottle, but whatever.

Lord Birb (6): You ask over the radio if anyone needs a shuttle.  Currently, opinions are either neutral or positive.  You decide it's not enough.
You look through your cameras to check for suspicious activity.........wait, is that a clown?
You don't remember a clown being part of today's crew manifest.  Checking reveals it's not...
Wait, it's gone now.........oh well, probably not important.
The botanist seems to not be doing his job.  In fact, he seems kinda pissed.

UmbraDrake (5): You manage to take the brain out of a monkey and successfully augment it into a cyborg body.  It seems very confused, but capable.  You think it might be able to learn if taught.  You also successfully make a spare AI core in the off chance the station needs a new one.  You'll need a brain donator to activate it though.

Studenterhue (2): You bring the activated artifact to medbay.  And by bring it to medbay, we mean throw it out of science and tell medbay if they want it, it's their problem.  Meanwhile, the second artifact still doesn't seem activated.

Hotcoffeemug (1) vs. NesMettaur(5): Hotcoffeemug attempts to make his way to mechanics and steal things.  However, upon attempting to open the door, he gets a nasty shock, knocking him down to the ground almost instantly.

"Oops...Uh......better tell security anyways..."

Hotcoffeemug is now wanted for attempted forced entry into mechanics.

Vitatroll (1):Ya know what?  Screw these eggplants!  They're shit!  This entire job is shit!  This entire station is shit!  Fuck this station!
You decide to flip the fuck out, destroying all the plants you made.  This may cause a commotion if anyone sees this.

elan_oots (1+): You rush off to help the captain and staff assistant as quickly as you can.  So quickly, in fact, that you fail to notice you went the wrong way.  Well that was time well wasted.

(For future reference, try to keep all your actions to one post.  Please edit unless you have questions, thank you.)

Current situations:
Disk Location: NesMettaur
Nuke Location: Syndicate Shuttle.
Time til Nuke Explodes: N/A
Fluke Ops Incoming: Not only is Awfulworldkid really bad at this, he was purposefully given terrible plans too.
Nuke Ops plan of Counterattack: Combat is + in New525 and Youkcat's favor.
Competent Medical Staff: Medical actions + for the station.
Surgery: Superlagg is currently undergoing surgery.  They can try to do something, but it'll be really hard (--).
Misuse of funds:Shipping has no budget.
1 star Wanted:Hotcoffeemug
FEATS OF ANGER:Vitatroll is having a bad day.
I, for lack of anything better to do, track the clown and ask the crew if anyone knew there was a clown on the station.
Out of money, I attempt to use my authority as Head of Personnel to barter the souls of the crew to Vurdalak the Shrouded for his wizard relics, or maybe novelty wizard clothing if I'm lucky.
well that did not go so well.

with the unexpected shock therapy and being wanted ill jump into maintenance as fast as i can and find a locker in there to hide in hopes of them forgetting about me
Well, shit. Guess I'm not cut out for botany. I use some old leftover honey to glue my ID to my forehead. I then remove all my clothing, smear myself with eggplant gibs, and start running around the station while screaming eggplant-related expletives.

If I can't get into the Kitchen, I'll try both radioing the Captain to see if they can open the door from within, as well as the AI if they can just open the door for me.

Right now making sure they are safe seems like a higher priority than tracking down a staff assistant for a failed breaking and entering attempt
Laugh to myself at the plans we gave AwfulWorldKid, and try again at the Shotgun Parts (Ballistic System).
Ain't nobody got time for that.

I take the artifact out of the scanner and smack it once with my air tank in some place that seems especially resistant to being smacked with an air tank. Then, I insert the artifact into the electrical testing apparatus and activate the machine.
while sitting in my kingdom i do mctelescience, beat biodome and kinda do theta, grab an ak, a revolver and a safari kit and place them outside telescience, each to be sold for 1 credit
Briefly, I consider stapling Superlagg's Left Leg back onto my butt; a good Assistant should be well-versed and willing in the dealings of other departments, but self-surgery? That's kind of a pain in the ass. I decide to just sit there and process sugar into sweet tea while Medbay does its magic.

While the procedure proceeds, I look around, namely for a Large Beaker, a Beaker of Cryoxadone, and a path into Pathology. And a Fuel Tank. And an IV Drip. And the Sink. And maybe a Blood Bag, Scalpel, and a second Large Beaker, this place could use some new carpeting.

Now to do something useful, like make a voice-operated teleporter network (Components per teleporter: teleport x1, microphone x1, signal check x1, relay x2.)

I load a bunch of everything I need into a cart and get started by making the first teleporter outside Engineering.
I continue to be utterly irrelevant to anything important.
Lord Birb (4) vs Noah Buttes (2): After a quick search through the cameras, you successfully locate the clown.  You have no idea what it's doing, but anything that hid from your cameras this long not on the manifest MUST be bad.  You alert security to Noah's location.

Noah Buttes is now wanted for suspicious activity.

Bologna Prime (1): You call Vurdalak in an attempt to barter things with the souls of the crew.  After lengthy discussion, he offers the mystery box for your soul.  You consider if it's worth it.  I mean, a mystery box could be anything.  It could even be a deed to another station!  Finally, a way off this hellhole!
You accept the offer.  Upon opening the box, you see a coupon for a Buy one Get one free hot dog from the local space diner.
You think this was not worth the soul.
You feel somewhat lighter...

HotCoffeeMug (4): You make your way away from the scene of the crime and find a decently comfy locker to hide in.  You know it's only a matter of time til SOMEONE finds you though.

Vitatroll (3): Sick of everything, you decide enough is enough.  You strip down, cover yourself in eggplant gibs, stick your ID to your forehead with honey, and begin to run around the station, shouting eggplant related expletives.
This goes as well as one might expect.
Vitatroll is now wanted for indecent exposure and possible insanity.

Frank_Stein (2): You decide to give it another go.  However, before you say anything, you get a report of a suspicious clown from the AI.  Furthermore, a strange man just ran through the station naked and shouting insane ramblings.
This is more important.

Youkcat (3): You successfully attach a ballistic gun to the pod.  It doesn't look like it'll survive much use though.

Studenterhue (3): You smack and then electrify the artifact.  Still nothing.

PH77SER (2):You enter the biodome alone.
You immediately come back with some bruises.
This was a bad idea.

Superlagg (2): You successfully see an open path into pathology...wait, it has a door you can't access.  Shit.
You see nothing else of interest.
Your leg is sewn back on in the time you spend looking around.

NesMettaur (6): Not only do you get the teleport outside mechanics set up, you manage to construct it's destination as well.  (The location you name in the next post is an automatic success.)

Current situations:
Disk Location: NesMettaur
Nuke Location: Syndicate Shuttle.
Time til Nuke Explodes: N/A
Fluke Ops Incoming: Not only is Awfulworldkid really bad at this, he was purposefully given terrible plans too.
Nuke Ops plan of Counterattack: Combat is + in New525 and Youkcat's favor.
Competent Medical Staff: Medical actions + for the station.
Misuse of funds:Shipping has no budget.
1 star Wanted:Hotcoffeemug (missing), Noah Buttes, Vitatroll
FEATS OF ANGER:Vitatroll is having a bad day.

I'm going to go check out that clown first. While public nudity is a filthy crime that won't go unpunished, someone on the station who is not on the manifest is a lot stranger and possibly dangerous.

So I make sure my taser and baton are charged, pop on my segway, and scoot over to their last reported location
now when i'm safe from danger and in the maintenance lets see whats around the place maybe something useful is in here.

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