crasscrab HoS application
Usual Character Name: Reginald P. Farthing
BYOND Username: Crasscrab
Recommended by (if applicable): Oh gosh, let's see... bubs, Clarks, EroticDad, Cogwerks initially said no but then conceded that I'd at least be somewhat entertaining, MyBlueCorners
Times Available: Whenever.

Reason for Application (300 word minimum): I'm applying for the position of Head of Security because frankly I've done everything else in the game and am interested in seeing how well I can manage a squad of morons with stun batons. I don't plan on routing out every traitor, changeling, or vampire that pops up on the station. My intent is to ensure security isn't shit and actually acts in a humane and just manner. I'd much rather investigate reports of shitty security officers harm batoning people than reports of some schmuck with an amplified vuvuzela. Let someone else deal with that, I say!

Security Experience (300 word minimum): I'll occasionally get the urge to play security, and I often find myself roaming the station, on the lookout for danger and trouble. There's a fine line between order and chaos aboard a space station, it's usually located somewhere between medbay and engineering. Once you cross that line there's no going back. Everything is different from that point on. You could start out thinking you've got everything under control only to find some asshole stabbing you in the face with a csaber or getting jumped by changeling. It all spins out of control so quickly, so quickly that you realize the futility of it all and just wind up resenting all your fellow crew, even your fellow security officers. The incompetent fools can't shoot for shit, stun baton worth shit, or flash worth shit. They always fuck up and let some random assistant run around the brig. You stand watching, shaking your head, before turning and leave. You can't stand it. You joined because you thought you were making a difference. Turns out you're just part of the system. The system of chaos. Or whatever.

In your opinion, what are the flaws and benefits of the current security layout (brig, cells, security room etc): None, really. It's a good place to put people that are naughty.

Your opinion of Shrek (5 word minimum): What's there to say about Shrek? He's an orge. And orges are like onions. They have many layers and make you cry.

Previous Bans (While this will not affect your application lying about it will): I've been banned and job banned a few times for shitty things. Can't recall when the last one was, maybe a few months ago, but I managed to smooth it out.
Yeah sure, you're almost always pleasant, and you probably know your shit.
well of course yes, he's terribly overqualified at this point. He'll be great with a beret. (I thought he had HoS already)

p.s. you spelt ogre wrong
Jebediah Kerman Wrote:p.s. you spelt ogre wrong

i know frown
When Reg, Walter and Phil start shoving and farting I always stay clear of their robusting as anyone who interferes are liable to get sharted on. He's a really cool guy in general though and I definitely agree with giving him the beret.
You'd be a good HoS, but your first part of the application is not even close to the word count!
FrontlineAcrobat4 Wrote:You'd be a good HoS, but your first part of the application is not even close to the word count!

crasscrab Wrote:
FrontlineAcrobat4 Wrote:You'd be a good HoS, but your first part of the application is not even close to the word count!

looks like some nerd fucked up and has to write his application again

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