Ideas of questionable quality

[Mouse]

Combine handcuffs with a briefcase to get a briefcase you can handcuff to yourself.  Stays in your hand even if you're on the ground.  Can only be removed (and therefore the contents accessed by anyone other than you) by severing the arm or removing the cuffs.

edit: admins could spawn someone with a locked secure briefcase cuffed to their hand containing the plutonium core for a "protect the nuclear football" gimmick