Goonhub
06-18-2020, 06:36 AM
A very dumb idea I had and posted here awhile back but I happened to think of it again and expanded on it so here it is in all its dumb glory.
The Syndicate sent the best of the best. They failed. Now they're sending the worst of the worst.
Fluke Ops: The Game Mode
You don't get any of the normal syndicate toys. You don't even get the class crates so loved by nuclear operatives. Instead, you get one of a selection of class crates that are a bit different. Fortunately, the class outfits are all spaceproof and come with a voice changer so you can give yourself whatever dumb name you want. Here's a sampling.
THE NINJA - While you were playing video games, I was studying my Japanese animes. In addition to the obligatory ninja outfit, it comes with throwing knives, smoke bombs for stealth*, slip proof sandals that increase your movement speed, and a katana.
THE FOOTBALL PLAYER - Hut-hut-hike! Comes with a stronger version of the syndicate football outfit, plus some cans of energy drink. Gotta stay hydrated!
THE COWBOY - Yee-Haw! Comes with a lasso, which acts like handcuffs that can be applied at range, as well as a pair of revolvers and a 75-gallon hat. Perhaps the hat glows red, like a syndicate hat!
THE LUCHADOR - Luchadores are stupider than wrestlers, and therefore way cooler. Comes with a selection of masks, including the different colors of wrestling mask but also the horse mask and the chicken mask, a wrestling belt, and a pill that, when swallowed, replaces a bunch of your organs with cyber organs, so you can wrestle more often!
THE SCOTSMAN - Och aye, etc etc. You get the scots accent for free, hooray! You also get a lovely kilt, a set of bagpipes that, when played, gives a buff to your fellow flukeops a la the revolutionary sign, and of course a claymore. You do not get a machine gun for a leg, because that guy was a hero and you are not.
THE WASHED-OUT ACTION HERO - We're filming, right? These bullets aren't real. The good news is that you get a god damned minigun. The bad news is that the reason you haven't gotten any parts is because you didn't take care of your body, and are now fat. Fortunately the syndicate has access to very stretchy pants.
The Syndicate sent the best of the best. They failed. Now they're sending the worst of the worst.
Fluke Ops: The Game Mode
You don't get any of the normal syndicate toys. You don't even get the class crates so loved by nuclear operatives. Instead, you get one of a selection of class crates that are a bit different. Fortunately, the class outfits are all spaceproof and come with a voice changer so you can give yourself whatever dumb name you want. Here's a sampling.
THE NINJA - While you were playing video games, I was studying my Japanese animes. In addition to the obligatory ninja outfit, it comes with throwing knives, smoke bombs for stealth*, slip proof sandals that increase your movement speed, and a katana.
THE FOOTBALL PLAYER - Hut-hut-hike! Comes with a stronger version of the syndicate football outfit, plus some cans of energy drink. Gotta stay hydrated!
THE COWBOY - Yee-Haw! Comes with a lasso, which acts like handcuffs that can be applied at range, as well as a pair of revolvers and a 75-gallon hat. Perhaps the hat glows red, like a syndicate hat!
THE LUCHADOR - Luchadores are stupider than wrestlers, and therefore way cooler. Comes with a selection of masks, including the different colors of wrestling mask but also the horse mask and the chicken mask, a wrestling belt, and a pill that, when swallowed, replaces a bunch of your organs with cyber organs, so you can wrestle more often!
THE SCOTSMAN - Och aye, etc etc. You get the scots accent for free, hooray! You also get a lovely kilt, a set of bagpipes that, when played, gives a buff to your fellow flukeops a la the revolutionary sign, and of course a claymore. You do not get a machine gun for a leg, because that guy was a hero and you are not.
THE WASHED-OUT ACTION HERO - We're filming, right? These bullets aren't real. The good news is that you get a god damned minigun. The bad news is that the reason you haven't gotten any parts is because you didn't take care of your body, and are now fat. Fortunately the syndicate has access to very stretchy pants.