Ideas of questionable quality

[GORE]

Clown artifacts. Some inject you with a pathogen that gives you all the fart symptoms, some blow up into bananas, some teleport you to random station toilets, some release honkfartium and fartonium into the air, some inject you with rainbow fluid, some act like turrets except they throw cream pies, some replace your arms with pizza, and others just slowly produce endless monkeys. They pose as normal artifacts except when examined they have an additional line of text saying something like "it is covered in horn shaped markings!" Then when activated it transforms into a more clown-colored variation of itself.

This is the best thing heard of all day! Adventuring Sci-Nerd-Clowns shall reign!