Ideas of questionable quality

[fosstar]

The old medkit should have a old diagnosis kit in it, so you need to spend 2 minutes diagnosing a patient and decoding obscure info if you want to use it. Each of these tools would take about 20-30 seconds to use and would have a 10% chance of failure, for instance with the ecg you could accidentally shock yourself with it. This diagnosis kit would contain:

* miniature ECG (Takes 30 seconds to set up, fails by either shocking the person setting it up or the patient, when turned on, shows a sinus rhythm if you're healthy, accelerated sinus rhythm with T-Wave inversion if you're in shock, ST elevation if you have cardiac disease from eating burgers, Atrial fibrillation if you're in cardiac failure, and ventricular fibrillation if you're in cardiac arrest)

* blood pressure cuff (Measures the same blood pressure as a health analyzer, fails by having the cuff pump attachment fly off and rocket around the room, like the strangelet loaf)

* Stethoscope (Which would show regular breaths if you're healthy, Fast breaths if you have at least 20 oxygen damage or you're on drugs, Labored breathing if you have at least 40 oxygen damage, Rapid irregular breathing if you're in crit, Stridor if you're having a histamine reaction, Slow breathing if you're on certain drugs or you're sleeping, and loud spasms if you're poisoned with sarin. Fails by stabbing the user in the ear with the earpiece)

* a Ophthalmoscope ( it would show extremely dilated pupils if you've taken meth/crank in the last 10 minutes, red eyes if you've taken pot in the last 10 minutes, pinprick eyes if you've taken morphine or the like, bloodshot, discolored pupils if you've welded without glasses, and white, clouded pupils if you're blind, along with some way to tell if you have cybereyes.)

* a Otoscope. (For the ears it would show a fluid filled eardrum if you have the cold, a burst eardrum if you have hearing troubles, and severe ear canal occlusion if you're totally deaf.

The last two would fail by either temporarily blinding/deafening the patient by stabbing them in the ears/shining the light too brightly into their eyes)

* a "high speed" (Takes 30 seconds) blood test kit that detects the most common chems on the station, contains syringe (take a blood sample, drip the blood onto the tester and if it turns green, the blood has deadly posion, red for less deadly stuff like ether, yellow for histamine, blue for drugs, and cyan for other. Fails by detecting non-existent stuff)

* and a magnifying glass (Injury check tool, clicking on a person shows the injury,
brute 0-20 would be a "few scratches", 20-40: "multiple bruises and scratches", 40-80: "severe abrasions and jagged cuts", 80-infinity: "Horrible abrasions and Avulsions with multiple penetration wounds".

burn damage: 0-10: "localized redness" 20-40: "Pale white skin with blistering" 40-80: "Stiff, pale, horribly scarred skin" 80-infinity: "carbonized, horribly scarred skin with some tissue sloughing off"

toxin damage: 0-20: "Cold, highly sweaty skin" 20-40: "Clammy skin with slight discoloration" 40-80: "Highly discolored skin with pockmarks and jaundice" 80-infinity: "dry, lesion coated skin with discoloration and cysts"

oxygen damage: 0-20: "pale, flushed skin" 20-40: "slightly blue, pale skin with severe discoloration in the lips" 40-infinity: "Clammed up, gray, stiff skin".

Not adding a failure condition for this because it just seems dumb)

If you have any suggestions for making this more cumbersome and dumb please share them!

Note, this would be inside the old medkit and possibly the medbay as a RP tool or something, not any new medkits.