Best moments ever thread 2.0

[Crumplehat]

Megabling'd.

[Smalltown]

The day Smalltown came back, and the first thing he did was punch a dude into space.

Mullaney rules.

[McDongle]

During a particularly exciting Nuke round, the Captain, the HoS and the Regional Director (me) decided to have a nice tea party. The Detective came along too!




Sadly, the Detective also blew up, his death parting the Captain and the HoS from their arms.

[Tteckk]

My Second day back on SS13 and I discover a Miner with his neck snapped. Being a standard class Medic I didn't even realise he was still alive, It was really Spooky.

[FloozyBarge]

Unknown (as Elias Todd) eats Elias Todd's skull.

[FloozyBarge]

[Carlarc]

Hey, I was the skeleton diplomat that turned into a human by cloning, you forgot me!

[APARTHEID]

Code:

Geoff Goldman says, "The shuttle is already here you fuck"
Dions Dopamine says, "shut up nobodys falling for it"
Geoff Goldman says, "Go take a look at escape"

Code:

The Emergency Shuttle has docked with the station! You have 3 minutes to board the Emergency Shuttle.
the drinking glass shatters!
the drinking glass shatters!
the drinking glass shatters!
the drinking glass shatters!
The greater domestic space-bee dies!
The greater domestic space-bee dies!
Meat Cube has been hit by Meat Cube's right arm.
Meat Cube has been hit by Meat Cube's heart.
Meat Cube has been hit by PDA-Meat Cube.
Meat Cube has been hit by Black Gloves.
Geoff Goldman has been hit by Geoff Goldman's left arm.
Geoff Goldman has been hit by Geoff Goldman's right arm.
Geoff Goldman has been hit by Geoff Goldman's left leg.
Geoff Goldman has been hit by Geoff Goldman's right leg.
Geoff Goldman has been hit by Geoff Goldman's heart.
Geoff Goldman has been hit by Black Shoes.
Alfred Vanleer has been hit by Alfred Vanleer's right arm.
Alfred Vanleer has been hit by Alfred Vanleer's left leg.
Alfred Vanleer has been hit by Alfred Vanleer's right leg.
Paul Random has been hit by the bullet.
Brendan White has been hit by Gary Pinney's left arm.
Brendan White has been hit by Gary Pinney's left leg.
Gary Pinney has been hit by Gary Pinney's heart.
Brendan White has been hit by Brendan White's left arm.
Brendan White has been hit by Brendan White's left leg.
Brendan White has been hit by Engineer Headset.
Brendan White has been hit by Brendan White's ID Card (Miner).
Brendan White has been hit by Optical Meson Scanner.
the decent glass window was hit by Meat Cube's left leg.
the decent glass window was hit by Meat Cube's right leg.
the steel-reinforced decent glass window was hit by the water bottle.
the steel-reinforced decent glass window was hit by Industrial Space Armor.
the steel-reinforced decent glass window was hit by Paul Random's heart.

[APARTHEID]

I found a turban in my backpack. I took a waistcoat from my closet and became a VERY BAD ENGLISH MYSTIC. Giving fortunes with a mix of tarot cards, playing cards, and limited foil cards, I managed to tell a few fortunes until the captain offered to give me a counter-reading.

Code:

Arme F. McGee says, "Let's see your fate"

Arme F. McGee flips the card face up. It's a reversed knight of coins.
John Johnson screams!
Arme F. McGee draws a card from the deck of cards.
Arme F. McGee flips the card face up. It's a reversed ace of cups.
Arme F. McGee draws a card from the deck of cards.
Arme F. McGee flips the card face up. It's a four of swords.

Arme F. McGee says, "The reversed knight indicates bad news"
John Johnson tugs nervously at his necktie!
Arme F. McGee says, "The reversed ace of cup indicates hatred and negativity"
John Johnson fidgets with his turban!
Arme F. McGee says, "and the four of swords indicates a pause of sorts"
Arme F. McGee says, "Bad news and htred are coming your way."
Arme F. McGee says, "Be prepared to take an unexpected break from your post."
John Johnson says, "Oh jeez."

[TWO MINUTES LATER]

You are hit by the energy bolt!
You are hit by the energy bolt!
You are hit by the energy bolt!
John Johnson collapses!

You begin to recover.

John Johnson  [145.9] stammers, "UURRGGHH!!   TTTHEEE  CAARDDREE LLWWAAYYYYSS  RRIGGHHTT!"
You hear a grinding sound!

(the pause was the split-second I managed to death rattle before the crusher completely mangled me to pieces)

[Carlarc]

snip

Copycats!

[Mageziya]

That was me who gave you the card reading. Funnily enough, I think that was the first tarot card reading I ever gave, since I only started messing around with them yesterday. I remember that you pulled the card of death on me, but I don't remember what happened to me that round.

Also, I think I did it incorrectly. I weighed all the cards as equal to the moment, despite the first, second, and third cards supposedly representing the past, present, and future, in that order.

[Conor12]

This is a button that will kill you if you press it.
A button. One that kills you (if you press it).

This is Tombstone.
Here lies Oar Dehrv, and Oar Dehrv's clone. They touched the button.

This is Official Caution - Oar Dehrv.

Oar Dehrv has been officially berated by Nanotrasen Corporate Security for Being literally too stupid to live. on 31/01/53.
Issued by: Ben Pomson - Security Officer

[Asmadeus]

Nicholas Nick Nash eats Nicholas Nick Nash's skull.
Nicholas Nick Nash seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Your head collapses into a useless pile of skin mush with no skull to keep it in its proper shape!

10/10

[OMJ]

did the omj challenge, which was go 20-20 for traitor objectives. reward was tempmin, if loss was a weekban
objectives were
Objective #1: Assassinate Lascival Hexane, the Scientist.
Objective #2: Assassinate Redbeard Rum, the Staff Assistant.
Objective #3: Assassinate Rafael Cox, the Medical Doctor.
Objective #4: Assassinate James Scotchbutt, the Janitor.
Objective #5: Assassinate BOLD BULL, the Hollywood Actor.
Objective #6: Steal the AI's neural net processor.
Objective #7: Amass 32991 space credits.
Objective #8: Steal a head of personnel's jumpsuit.
Objective #9: Steal a head of personnel's jumpsuit.
Objective #10: Escape on the shuttle alive.
Objective #1: End the round with a budget of over 50,000 credits.
Objective #2: Assassinate Dullis Watson, the Staff Assistant.
Objective #3: Assassinate Prae Sett, the Medical Doctor.
Objective #4: Assassinate Hotawhat Baabhabhiat, the Medical Director.
Objective #5: Assassinate Roland Molotov, the Barman.
Objective #6: Assassinate Sailor Dave, the Staff Assistant.
Objective #7: Steal a RCD.
Objective #8: Steal a jetpack.
Objective #9: Amass 28116 space credits.
Objective #10: Escape on the shuttle alive.
Objective #11: Steal the AI's neural net processor.

[DyssalC]

did the omj challenge, which was go 20-20 for traitor objectives. reward was tempmin, if loss was a weekban
objectives were
Objective #1: Assassinate Lascival Hexane, the Scientist.
Objective #2: Assassinate Redbeard Rum, the Staff Assistant.
Objective #3: Assassinate Rafael Cox, the Medical Doctor.
Objective #4: Assassinate James Scotchbutt, the Janitor.
Objective #5: Assassinate BOLD BULL, the Hollywood Actor.
Objective #6: Steal the AI's neural net processor.
Objective #7: Amass 32991 space credits.
Objective #8: Steal a head of personnel's jumpsuit.
Objective #9: Steal a head of personnel's jumpsuit.
Objective #10: Escape on the shuttle alive.
Objective #1: End the round with a budget of over 50,000 credits.
Objective #2: Assassinate Dullis Watson, the Staff Assistant.
Objective #3: Assassinate Prae Sett, the Medical Doctor.
Objective #4: Assassinate Hotawhat Baabhabhiat, the Medical Director.
Objective #5: Assassinate Roland Molotov, the Barman.
Objective #6: Assassinate Sailor Dave, the Staff Assistant.
Objective #7: Steal a RCD.
Objective #8: Steal a jetpack.
Objective #9: Amass 28116 space credits.
Objective #10: Escape on the shuttle alive.
Objective #11: Steal the AI's neural net processor.

While reading that list I was hoping one of those would be "Die a glorious death" along with "Escape alive on the shuttle".