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Best moments ever thread 2.0
Every round last night was action packed and hilarious.

Sov VS Stan
Sov was a mad bomber who was hell bent on liberating the crew from their PDAs. He taunted me with the detomax code at one point and it led to a great battle at the radio station.

I asked Sov to fight me one on one and he showed up armed to the teeth. My plan was to hide in the locker in the radio station's pod bay and lure him into the broadcasting room so I could lock the door behind him and laugh at him through the glass; however, it was foiled when a mysterious bystander appeared alongside Sov. They battled to the death, firing lasers and phasers wildly throughout the pod bay. Sov bested his masked enemy and attempted to hide the body in the locker I was in! I hopped out as he opened the lovker and blasted him with a taser, stunning him. I stripped his mask and threw him into the cold vacuum of space.

It wasn't enough. He redoubled his efforts and came back with a pod too large to fit into the bay. I made the mistake of hiding in a smaller pod that he attempted to move. My cover was blown so I lept out only to take a radbow shot to the chest. I went down and Sov was nice enough to tuck me into bed while he stripped me down to nothing. When I woke up and made a dash for my pistol he drew first, shooting himself in the face with a laser until he died and his macrobomb detonated: blowing viscera and body parts everywhere. A gruesome end.

A Bad Idea
The very cool shotgunbill was surely impressed by my transcendent skateboarding skills earlier in the night and granted me the ultimate power: omnitrator status as a monkey. I was completely overwhelmed by all of the powers at my disposal and proceeded to mindslave three other people who I then turned into monkeys as well.

We had some laughs, I shrunk some hearts, and everyone else died. The round ended with my three monkey mindslaves gathered around me on the shuttle. I shrank the heart of one who displeased me and forced the remaining two to fight to the death. I rewarded the victor by letting him live and join my at Centcomm for ice cream.

Drug Use In Professional Boxing
I've saved the best for last.
Miracle (youkcat, I believe) was openly challenging any of the crew to take her on in the ring. I, Stan Beezlebub, took her up on the challenge. It was a tense first bout, with blows traded by both foghters. Eventually I was knocked down and the match was called to and end with miracle as the victor. I vowed to get stronger and to come back with a vengance.

I fled to my chemistry lab to brew some "performance enhancing supplements" for the next match and waited quietly in a wardrobe by the ring while Miracle whooped Bruce in under a minute. She called out for her next challenger when suddenly an unknown masked luchador made his way into the ring, throwing aside his biosuit and screaming like a madman.

Someone called out from the crowd, "IT'S STAN BEEZLEBUB!"

The crowd gasped. Miracle stared slackjawed. I drew out on of my hyposprays filled with methamphetamine and shot up right in the middle of the ring, still screaming bloody murder. I charged Miracle befoee the countdown had even finished and what ensued was the battle of the century. Even with three meth filled hyposprays and a medkit, Miracle was able to hold her ground against me. We traded blows across the entire ring, beating each other to a bloody pulp.

A chair was placed on the table by rhe ring and I pulled it into the ring as I slipped into critical condition, Miracle having fallen into crit just moments earlier. We traded blows once more until I was knocked unconscious momentarily but not long enough thanks to the meth flowing through my veins. I stood one last time, shot up an entire meth hypo in one shot and staggered to the chair. I clambered on top of it and launched through the air, summersaulting into Miracle and delivering a crushing blow.

I lay there gasping for air, feeling the life drain from me. Just then, Miracle slowly rose to her feet, using the last of her strength to drive her fist into my face blacking out all of existence and ending my life. Seconds later she collapsed: her corpse draped over mine. Two fighters locked in battle, even in death.

Then a ling absorbed my corpse and a blob took over the shuttle as the clown and others tried to fight it off. The ling survived and made its way off of the shuttle Nd the hivemind lived happily ever after. 

THE END
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Also the clown won the tournament by defeating the mime, and was given the entire station budget and captain access.

Then followed a round in which a team consisting of a boxer (miracle) and a wrestling fishman single handedly saved the station against nuke ops
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(08-01-2017, 11:11 AM)Dr Zoidcrab Wrote: Then followed a round in which a team consisting of a boxer (miracle) and a wrestling fishman single handedly saved the station against nuke ops

I remember teaching a geneticist the ropes on that round.

Part of the reason we found out they weren't traitors was cause I was asked to get bad genes for a traitor not on the DNA list.

Not much happened for me otherwise, but it was kinda funny seeing a nuke op locked in the cloner begging to be released.
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That last round also had some very angry bees, thanks to Shotgunbill turning every spawned bee (we made a lot) perma aggroed.
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So i made a hella sandwich, then me and Doctor Bees went to a picnic with the AI.
Also I made the sandwich Captain before we ate.
Doctor Bees says, "im gonna take a bite"

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 states, "Tell me how it tastes."

Doctor Bees says, "here goes"

Jhon Warcrimes says, "its time"

Doctor Bees takes a bite of the lightly-fried lightly-fried night saturdays, yellow cake, and yellow cake sandwich on plain bread, lightly-fried lightly-fried space bee egg and lightly-fried yellow cake, lightly-fried crank pill, and yellow cake club on plain bread sandwich on plain bread, yellow cake, yellow cake, yellow cake, and yellow cake club on plain bread, and lightly-fried yellow cake, fried yellow cake, yellow cake, yellow cake, and lightly-fried uncle shit sandwich on plain bread sandwich on plain bread!

Doctor Bees drools.

Doctor Bees release an audible discharge of intestinal gas.

Doctor Bees screams!

Doctor Bees farts egregiously.

Doctor Bees screams!

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 states, "I have no taste, only hunger."

Doctor Bees twitches.

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 screams!

Doctor Bees grumbles.

Doctor Bees gasps, "IITT TTAAAASSTTEESS AAAAMMAZIINGG"

Doctor Bees [144.7] gasps, "IITT TTAAAASSTTEESS AAAAMMAZIINGG"

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 declares, "BEATIFUL!"

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 declares, "I must consume it all!"

Jhon Warcrimes says, "i want a bite"

Doctor Bees twitches.

Doctor Bees gasps, "itts aammaaaaziinngg"

Doctor Bees shudders.

Doctor Bees gasps, "outtt ooof tthiiss wwwwoorrrdd"

You take a bite of the lightly-fried lightly-fried night saturdays, yellow cake, and yellow cake sandwich on plain bread, lightly-fried lightly-fried space bee egg and lightly-fried yellow cake, lightly-fried crank pill, and yellow cake club on plain bread sandwich on plain bread, yellow cake, yellow cake, yellow cake, and yellow cake club on plain bread, and lightly-fried yellow cake, fried yellow cake, yellow cake, yellow cake, and lightly-fried uncle shit sandwich on plain bread sandwich on plain bread!

You scald yourself trying to consume the boiling hot substance!

What stunning texture!

You feel a burning sensation in your throat...

It burns!

OH SHIT ANTS!!!!

That tasted amazing!

That tasted amazing!

Doctor Bees laughs.

Doctor Bees laughs.

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 declares, "Be sure to feed your corpses to me if it kills you!"

You begin to recover.

Doctor Bees drools.

Doctor Bees seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...

The li'l Doctor Bees bumbles MOURNFULLY.

You feel like shit!

You begin to recover.

Jhon Warcrimes shudders.

You desperately try to think of a way to do CPR on yourself, but it's just not logically possible!

You take a bite of the lightly-fried lightly-fried night saturdays, yellow cake, and yellow cake sandwich on plain bread, lightly-fried lightly-fried space bee egg and lightly-fried yellow cake, lightly-fried crank pill, and yellow cake club on plain bread sandwich on plain bread, yellow cake, yellow cake, yellow cake, and yellow cake club on plain bread, and lightly-fried yellow cake, fried yellow cake, yellow cake, yellow cake, and lightly-fried uncle shit sandwich on plain bread sandwich on plain bread!

You scald yourself trying to consume the boiling hot substance!

So juicy!

You feel a burning sensation in your throat...

Jhon Warcrimes drools.

It burns!

Jhon Warcrimes defiles the station's air supply.

Jhon Warcrimes screams!

OH SHIT ANTS!!!!

Jhon Warcrimes is a farting motherfucker!!!

Jhon Warcrimes screams!

That tasted amazing!

That tasted amazing!

Your injuries are too severe to heal by nourishment alone!

Jhon Warcrimes scratches at an itch.

Jhon Warcrimes grumbles.

The ants arachnify.

Jhon Warcrimes does the twist, like they did last summer.

The li'l Doctor Bees buzzes approvingly.

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 states, "Feed meeee"

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

You begin to recover.

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

Jhon Warcrimes twitches.

You feel like there's something skittering in your blood!

OH GOD YOU JUST HURLED SPIDERS SHIT THAT'S NASTY!

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

Your chest hurts!

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

Jhon Warcrimes shudders.

Jhon Warcrimes cries.

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

Jhon Warcrimes shudders.

All-Weather Booze-o-Mat V2 states, "Jhon has sacrificed himself to feed me."

Jhon Warcrimes twitches violently.

Oh shit there's something skittering in your veins!

Jhon Warcrimes shudders.

Your arm hurts!

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

Your arm hurts!

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

Jhon Warcrimes gasps.

the cakes are iced with phlog, dark matter, ants.
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i spawned in as a wizard and decided to run around polymorphing everyone i could. by the end of the round all of the animals banded together and armed up with stun batons and tasers and very nearly killed me twice but in the end i exterminated them all. i used to think staff of cthulu was trash before i tried it but i ended up falling in love with it
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I got almost the entire station drunk as FUCK. Highlights of the round: two different changelings getting robusted by people so drunk they couldn't move in a straight line.
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I tried my hand at the cake/pizza/sandwich/cake/pie chaining. Looks like the name was cut off well before it should've been so it's full glory wasn't demonstrated:

Quote:You take a bite of the fried fried fried fried fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow cake pie sandwich on toast pizza and fried fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow cake pie sandwich on toast pizza fried bacon pie sandwich on toast, fried yellow cake, fried bacon, and fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow cake pie sandwich on toast pizza sandwich on toast pizza, fried fried fried fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow ca sandwich on toast pizza!

You scald yourself trying to consume the boiling hot substance!

HOLY FUCK!!!!

Viander Rünte screams!

You are trapped within the ice cube!

Yuck!

The blueish acidic substance stings you, but isn't concentrated enough to harm you!

What stunning texture!

Ugh! That tasted horrible!
What stunning texture! is my favorite part.
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(08-09-2017, 06:25 AM)TheDK Wrote: I tried my hand at the cake/pizza/sandwich/cake/pie chaining. Looks like the name was cut off well before it should've been so it's full glory wasn't demonstrated:

Quote:You take a bite of the fried fried fried fried fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow cake pie sandwich on toast pizza and fried fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow cake pie sandwich on toast pizza fried bacon pie sandwich on toast, fried yellow cake, fried bacon, and fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow cake pie sandwich on toast pizza sandwich on toast pizza, fried fried fried fried fried fried fried fried yellow cake sandwich on toast yellow ca sandwich on toast pizza!

You scald yourself trying to consume the boiling hot substance!

HOLY FUCK!!!!

Viander Rünte screams!

You are trapped within the ice cube!

Yuck!

The blueish acidic substance stings you, but isn't concentrated enough to harm you!

What stunning texture!

Ugh! That tasted horrible!
What stunning texture! is my favorite part.

It's like on cooking shows judged by panel, and all the judges at the end are sampling some poor saps food and they're all like "Oh, yes, the texture is very good." because none of them wants to be the first one to say it tastes like shit and watch the cook cry.
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[Image: yKyUJI0.png]
Bees
[Image: LXs2DAe.png]
More bees
[Image: HXj6hqQ.png]
spessbees
[Image: AUxcjgg.png]
genocided bees
[Image: wGAS1UC.png]
more genocided bees

More bee images here http://imgur.com/a/Oygn9
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Oops, posted this before round ended. I will wait until the round ends to put it back.
I was a solo wizard on a highpop round, so I got my standard build: rathan's secret, spell shield, staff of cthulhu, and animate dead. The Necbromancer has returned! The resulting rampage had me cut the population down a third, got a few more with skeletons, and got the entire crew out for my blood. I still eventually died, but it was one of my most fun rounds in a long time, and my remaining target was dealt with by a random event wizard. All wizard players should aspire to instill as much fear in the crew as I did that round. In general I love antagonist rounds where the entire crew is actively hunting me down.
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There's really no good way to describe what just transpired, but I'll try.

I started out as a mechanic on lowpop, and I was bored of building  a e s t h e t i c  teleporter hubs so I decided to experiment with pipes. I made an infinite pipe loop, jumped in, and started CLUNGing. People were interested in this contraption that I built, and so they started hopping in. First the clown, then an assistant, and finally even the captain. For around 10 minutes we were all CLUNGing around the place, hearing nothing but the terrible audio glitches of thousands of CLUNGs, sometimes having it so the CLUNG was happening so fast that we heard no sound at all. The clown was trying to honk but the honks were being cut off by the shear amount of CLUNG that was occurring, and instead the honk just sort of whimpered out. It was magical. We then pondered the question "Could we fart on a bible inside of the pipe?" So guess what we did next.

We were all farting when the bible was thrown in by an assistant, and the only way you'd know that we died is that suddenly there was a bunch of blood on the pipes, and the CLUNGs have ceased. We all were thinking about what would happen when the pipe gets cut open.[Image: 40OZ4OB.jpg]


And then the pipe got cut open, and everything just fucking flew out in every which way. It was beautiful.
[Image: 37OnNHm.jpg]


This whole thing had me in tears the whole time. The CLUNG gods smile upon us all.
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That was the round that almost killed me. It sounded like you were in the hull of an old, creaky ship with a horde of screaming, softly honking idiots in the distance.
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four guys fart in a pipe and die.mpg
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Had an interesting round as a traitor medic.

The mechanic set up a teleporter across the airbridge, so I took that opportunity to redirect it into the crusher. Claimed a few lives, including the mechanic, but it was shortlived. A crewmember stepped off the conveyor just as they were teleported, found the trap, then alerted the crew to take it all apart. Moments later, I received a PDA message telling me that I should've blocked the escape route from the trap, to which I replied asking how they knew it was me.

Ah well, plan B: Club people. Having learned my lesson from a previous round about stunning people before I try to club them, I stole Beepsky's stunbaton and charged it in the QM's domain. As it charged, I had an idea: stab myself with a mindslave implant. Now I knew I was going to get caught at some point, so maybe I could use the old "I was a mindslave, dont shoot" excuse when things go south.

Bat and baton ready for action, I set out looking for my first victim. I found a braindead assistant in the hallway to Disposals, wearing my heirloom clown mask. I gave him a good batting, but then the chaplain came by! Oh no! I medscanned the assistant and stuffed him into the port-a-medbay to make it look like I was trying to save him. He bought it, I think. Sent it home, went out the nearest airlock, summoned it, then chucked the assistant off a catwalk. Smooooth getaway!

As I went back inside, the airlock doors were bolted, locking me in a tiny room with no escape, with the AI yelling over the radio I'd killed a crewman. Oh no! I used my classic excuse that the assistant was a vampire, which though the crew bought it, didn't convince the AI, who continued to beg for security to come arrest me.

Then, a message came over my PDA asking if I needed help. Worst case, he comes and kills me, so I replied with a yes and my whereabouts. Moments after Clowncop PD came by and handcuffed himself, a mysterious gasmasked stranger came by and hacked open the door to freedom. I bolted across the inner space courtyard, kept alive only by a coffee cup full of cryoxystylane. I smashed through a window, took a pod, and booked it to the ghost dronery to figure out what I was going to do next.

The AI was the biggest problem, so I bought an agent card and a DNA scrambler, hoping to at the very least make me hard to track. I had a brief PDA chat with my Syndicate bosses, asking them to thank their agent for saving my bacon. With a new disguise, I broke back into the station through the crew quarters... and was immediately bolted in by the AI. The crew gathered by the window, waiting for the detective to wake up.

I smashed the window and escaped back out into space, leaving the AI to voice its frustrations at the crew for being so... less-than-violent. I resolved to kill the AI, but without proper access it wasn't going to be easy. I tried to mix up a classic wall-melting chem, but the changes to thermite rendered it useless as I tried it out on Botany. I bought another mindslave implant, hoping to get the Captain to do it for me, but I only ever saw her again on the shuttle. Dang.

All the while, the crew was still trying to find the assistant I killed to dump holy water on him. The AI was not happy about that.

I returned to the station's market and had an awkward batonfight with the Clowncop, holding my own purely through the last few units of my round-start coffee IV. The AI called the shuttle, and I realized that this wild nerd chase was looking pretty bad for me. I put away my bat and told the crew that my mindslave wore off. After the Clowncop stripped me in the hallway while I kept telling him to take me to medbay and dig out my implant, he dragged me to medbay and dug out my implant. Plausible deniability! Even though the Clowncop wanted to hold me responsible for what I did as a "mindslave", he didn't press charges after the Syndicate Agent dragged me to safety.

I thanked my savior, then ran to the shuttle where I mindslaved the Captain and told her to open fire on the crew. She did, then died. Then I picked a fight with Nerdy Collins and lost. The end.
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