Best moments ever thread 2.0

[bladex454]

The best round ever happened last night, as I was playing I decided to look for a changeling last night and injest some of his blood for so I could have superpowers and make superhumans. I see Pritchard (later draculra mean) and ask if he is a ling. he tells me to come close and I was suspicious and learn he is a vampire. a certain admin pressed a certain button that made things retro station 13, wanting to help my vampire friend I decide to give him some of my blood but didn't learn he became a macho man and he killed me and went on fighting rampage. Overall best round of my life

[Darkgenerallord]

So, I late joined as a vampire. There was a freak ton of space bees around, so I started to look for my vampirely meals. I fed off braindead people (I think bees made a alliance with vampires. The very gods tremble at this thought) So, I asked Groose if I could go into Customs. I disguised myself as a officer, shapeshifted, then tried to feed on the captain. He wakes up, and says hes full of DNA. So he's a changeling. Then Groose turns out to be a Traitor. He accidentally freedom implants me, then mindslaves the changeling captain in genetics. So he gives me his PDA, I mindslave him, and become the leader of the Antag Three. I later find Zorafm as a RD vampire. We fuse together, becoming the Antag Four, and rule the station and escape. Also Groose made the captain jump into the disposal gibber as he was his objective.

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

Vampire-Changeling-Traitor Alliance.

This is why I love Mixed

[Conor12]

I was fighting an abomination while being an abomination myself. (admin event fun)

Then a predator joined the fight:

Shambling Abomination spits acid at Unknown!
You aren't stunned!
Shambling Abomination drools.
Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) attacks Shambling Abomination in the head with Hunting Spear!
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) attacks Shambling Abomination in the chest with Hunting Spear!
you set the output to stun.
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) attacks Shambling Abomination in the head with Hunting Spear!
you set the output to laser.
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) attacks Shambling Abomination in the head with Hunting Spear!
Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) attacks Shambling Abomination in the head with Hunting Spear!
Shambling Abomination has been knocked unconscious!
Shambling Abomination is hit by the laser!
Shambling Abomination seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
Shambling Abomination begins to grow another head!
Shambling Abomination is hit by the laser!
Shambling Abomination's flesh is moving and sliding around oddly!
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) attacks Shambling Abomination in the head with Hunting Spear!
Shambling Abomination has been knocked unconscious!
Unknown screeches! The very noise fills you with dread!
the energy gun has been hit by the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) with Hunting Spear
Unknown screeches! The very noise fills you with dread!
the predator (as Dr. Hugbees) has been leapt on by the headspider! It crawls down their throat!

I lasered the other abomination to death (who was Sundance) and let the predator take it, but the predator was headspidered.

Shortly after that I end up in mining, stung horribly but otherwise unharmed. I listen to the changelings and wizard over my headset. I said hello to Isaac Kirkhope while being Isaac Kirkhope. Many mentorhelps were sent around this time too. The AI had a law which made changelings human. The wizard (Isaac Kirkhope???) got drunk.

The shuttle arrived and I was in no condition to even walk five tiles, let alone escape alive. My headset bursts into static and all I can do is flail around.

[CaptainBravo]

isaac kirkhope got mauled to death by george so i took his body, put a plunger on his head, and made a shrine in the bathroom calling him a nerd. later on abraham lincoln, the captain, got assassinated by john wilkes booth and the HoP held an election to find a new captain. i tried to get the AI to tell people to vote for 'Cybernetic Future Android Dwight D. Eisenhower,' but didn't have any luck. it didn't matter anyways because someone stole all of the ballots and left a single vote for a grape. since my head was the most grapelike thing on the station i volunteered and ordered an immediate party under penalty of death, including a fog machine dispensing alcohol at escape since someone had just left it lying around.

that round was weird.

[Readster]

The following is the story of Edison Lootin, the fun loving HoP who runs gambling rackets for ID upgrades.

Now, I started the round as a HoP and decided that I would do something special this round, a russian roulette game for a high access ID. I went around the station, gathering all the items I needed, some table parts, some metal, tools to hack the door and remote signalling devices so I could seal people inside. Everything is going great...until I start hacking the door...
Needless to say I had forgotten to pick up insulated gloves...I died from painful electric shock and lay dead in disposals for a while.
But this is not the end of the story my friends, this is only the beginning.

A lot of craziness was going down this round. Executions in the electric chair in the courtroom, executions in the gas chamber in the warehouse, people exploding into space owls, it was quite chaotic. But things didn't really pick up until the HoS Dolan decided to check in on the heads. Now, obviously I was dead and unable to respond so, worried, Dolan asked the AI to find me. At about that time Ken Klepto came flying out of the disposals chute. He walks into the main disposals room to find my body lying on the floor. Thinking he's just struck gold, having free access to the HoP's ID and all the stuff I was holding, he begins to strip me.
This is where things get interesting.
At exactly that moment, the AI does what Dolan requested and locates me. He sees my body lying on the floor with Ken standing over it, stripping it. He lets the HoS know this. Not knowing what to do, Ken jumps into the disposal unit and hides. The HoS shows up at disposals and finds my body. He picks up my stuff, which Ken hadn't had time to grab, and drags my body down to genetics. The AI bolts down disposals behind him as it knew Ken was still in there.
Ken is of course now a prime suspect for my murder and panics. He escapes from disposals the only way he knows how. The airlock. Now things get really interesting. The AI watches this and realises that Ken must be a changeling. Ken wasn't actually a changeling, but due to wrong place, wrong time was accused. I'm of course ghosting and laughing about this strange turn of events. I check on the HoS to see if I'm getting cloned yet so I can let everyone know that my death was simply incompetence and that Ken was innocent. Sadly, as I had been lying in disposals for quite some time by this point, I was too far gone to clone. So instead he takes me to robotics.
I'd just like to take this time to say that when being taken to genetics the HoS butted in line of another corpse waiting to be cloned. They decided this was ok as the other corpse was a guy who had electric chaired themselves.
So, now my body is in robotics. The Roboticist is braindead so the RD, Logan, decides to take his place for the time being. Logan was a great guy who I had given the helmet to earlier so he could make the electric chair now situated, and in great use, in the courtroom. He gets to work building a borg suit for me and I eagerly watch. I've already planned it out, I'll get him to name me the "Robotic HoP" and I will clear up this entire misunderstanding about my death and everything will be fine.
But there's just one simple problem;

Logan Bastion says, "I seem to have somehow lost the HoP's brain."

Logan lost my brain.
He genuinely LOST my brain.

Logan Bastion says, "It has mysteriously disappeared into thin air."

It just vanished from his hand. I honestly have no idea what happened and neither did he. I was watching the whole time and I still don't know where that thing went.
Anyway, Logan is accurately panicing a bit at this point.

Logan Bastion says, "This is highly annoying."
Logan Bastion exclaims, "Fuck, where did it go?!"
Logan Bastion asks, "Where the fuck did it go?"
I'm just puzzled about the whole situation, and slightly annoyed I'm not coming back. (But it is funny that I can't clear everything up)

Logan Bastion says, "Well the HoP seems to be staying dead as I have stupidly lost his brain."

So I start looking around the station again, pretty much accepting that I'm staying dead and prepared to watch the rest of the chaos around the station. Then something truly wonderful happens.

Kelvin Shaw [145.9] says, ":h Barman killed the HoP found his finger print on the breath mask of the HoP"

I cannot believe what I am seeing. My accidental death has caused so much paranoia and false accusations that it's just unbelievable. The best part is, right as this message was sent out, the barman was strapped to the electric chair...

Logan Bastion says, "And now I suppose I have a reason to set this off."
David Bailey says, "Whag, no"
David Bailey says, "I goog due mashg off in robogigsh you nerd"
Kelvin Shaw says, "David bailey killed the HoP"
Logan Bastion says, "This thing takes ages to kill."

DEAD: Ghost (Edison Lootin) says, "Hello Barman"
DEAD: Ghost (David Bailey) says, "Sup"
DEAD: Ghost (Edison Lootin) says, "This has been a funny round"

David didn't die a normal death though. He was gibbed and turned into a space owl...Because Wonkmin felt it needed to be done.

DEAD: Ghost (David Bailey) says, "Who knew the electric chair turns people into owls"

Things went a little quiet after that. And by quiet I mean the changeling uploaded a law to stop the AI tracking him and security ran around trying to catch actual traitors. Somebody set off the beaker/timer/igniter assembly full of infernite inside the execution chamber and somebody burned real good. Power finally got restored to normal (It was on and off all round) and a fog machine showed up outside medbay. People of course filled it with chocolate, wine and chicken soup. The usual stuff.
Then Dane grabbed my body, which was now nothing more than a skeleton, and dragged it into medbay. He analysed my vitals for some reason and dropped my body on the floor. He then ran into chemistry and told the medical doctor to leave my body because he was "Doing something". I quickly figured out what was going on. He had made some strange regent and was going to actually manage to bring me back. After everything that had happened, everything that had failed, I was finally going to be revived in the last possible way I could.

Or at least I would have if the asshole medical doctor hadn't shoved my corpse into the disposal unit and flushed it...*sigh.

Dane was suitably annoyed when he came back.

Dane Fisher stammers, "WWHHERRREE Issh Igg?!!"
Dane Fisher stammers, "II NEEEE IIgg!!"
Dane Fisher stammers, "AAHHHHHHHHH"

But, it's all ok. All is not lost. I track Dane as he runs to disposals to retrieve my corpse there. I fly off ahead to check on my body and make sure the crusher isn't in use. When I get there I'm confused. I only see two corpses. A greyshirt and a skeleton, but I know the skeleton isn't mine. It belonged to Ancient Potato who had died long ago (That story is best left to your imagination. It involved paper cuts and him pissing off the HoS) I'm confused at this point...where is my body?
Well I re-enter corpse to find out.
It's spinning.
Around and around.
In a pipe loop.
Somebody had built a pipe loop.
My body was trapped in a pipe loop.
*sigh

DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "Somebody changed disposals to go in a loop"
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "my body is stuck in said loop"
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "I swear this round is just working against me getting revived..."
DEAD: Edison Lootin (as Unknown) gasps, "Too late to clone, my brain disappears, somebody disposals my body as it's getting injected with strange regent...not fair."

But, mercy smiles upon the less fortunate. The great owl god Wonkmin had seen my misfortune and granted me a second chance at life.

You hear a voice in your head...Your plight of unluckiness was noted by THE HOOTENING, the Great Space Owl. Rejoice in his splendour!

Now I, Kiara Lowe, grab a headset off of a braindead assistant, grab and ID off of a braindead roboticist and head to robotics. There, lying on the operating table, is my jumpsuit. Be praised to the great space owl, I am once again on station.

Kiara Lowe [145.9] exclaims, "I'm back baby!"
Kiara Lowe [145.9] says, "I, distant relative of the old HoP, am taking his place"

I board the now arrived shuttle and head home to rest. My work done, my adventure complete. I rejoice in the grace of the mighty space owl and sleep.

OOC: Readster: Praise the great space owl
OOC: Readster: For anyone curious, I, the HoP, killed myself
OOC: Wonkmin: an amazing round
OOC: Wonkmin: great job dudes

And to top it all off, not a single adminhelp of grief was reported.

[mozi]

that's amazing. I love seeing an organized crew undone by a deathspiral of paranoia.

[BlackPhoenix]

Myself and Ensign Daeren introduced the Necrovirus to ourselves to test it. Our zombies introduced it to the crew.

[epicdwarf]

Myself and Ensign Daeren introduced the Necrovirus to ourselves to test it. Our zombies introduced it to the crew.

Necrovirus?

[BlackPhoenix]

Myself and Ensign Daeren introduced the Necrovirus to ourselves to test it. Our zombies introduced it to the crew.

Necrovirus?

That's one of those things that has to be kept elusive, otherwise it happens all the damn time. I trust the people who know how I did what I did won't be stupid with it. It was fun, but it doesn't need to happen every damn round.

[Weavel]

Big bastard story

I was the Medical Doctor-turned-Captain that round. I think I'll chime in what it was like to be one of the living crew during that round.

I started off in Medbay, obviously. I had no real inclination towards being a helpful doctor, so I decided to go off on an adventure and build some sort of execution chamber. I got some welding fluid and managed to nab some beakers and igniters, and a radio signaller pair. I figured I was nearly done, so I headed back to Medbay.

I walked in, and all the walls separating Chemistry from Medbay were melted down. I figured I'd take advantage and made some lovely wall-melters myself. Suddenly, I hear that the Captain's being shot to death in Toxins.

Of course, the AI decided that the best way to save the crew from the man with the laser gun was to start shocking the doors.

This obviously did not entertain the HoS, who shouted at the AI for a bit and then made the arrest in Toxins. I wandered in to clone the Captain's body, until I found 15-unit neurotoxin pills in the Captain's pocket. Me and the HoS decided we'd clone him and then arrest him, hoping we might get some answers. as if, he went braindead and never returned

So from there, I become the new Replacement Captain. I geared up and started chatting with the HoS, when we realised that you, the HoP, were missing. This is where it all started to pick up and kick off.

There was a Miner on our channel, offering us Industrial Armour if we needed it. My execution chamber was ready, so me and the HoS went toe-to-toe with every fucker who acted up on station. Clean arrests, no deaths, all good. However, we started noticing more and more corpses around the station; disposals was pretty packed, the electric chair was constantly in use, and Robotics were screaming about lost brains. The HoS just caught someone clonking a guy across the head with an extinguisher, and our brig was getting full, so I was told I could start executions.

Then, just as I dragged our radbow traitor away to the chamber in the Warehouse...

AI states, "There is not someone breaking in to Modules from space."

It's Ken.
Naturally, this meant war.

I fired a few lasers through the gap, one which connected, and sprinted off to get myself a spacesuit. He promptly vanished, but then reappeared 10 minutes later to break into Botany from space. I tossed the radbow traitor into the execution chamber, but after another dull space patrol, I tossed my suit on the floor and gave up searching for Ken.

Then he walks past me.

I screamed my lungs out at the Detective, who had been repeatedly arresting someone who stole a taser for the last five minutes, and we went hunting. Said detective also found an unlocked PDA, and after what felt like the world's longest chase, we'd managed to catch both Ken and the other traitor, Chase.

I bucklecuffed the pair to the Security chairs. Between me, the HoS and the Security force, we'd finally managed to catch all the traitors on station. I figured it was about time for some lovely interrogation, with the Detective shouting that he wants to come inside to "interrogate" them.

The emergency shuttle has docked with the station! You have three minutes to board the emergency shuttle!

Isaac Kirkhope says, "Fuck it, the shuttle is here, you two can rot. Bastard traitors."

Alert! The shuttle is leaving in 10 seconds!

gotta catch 'em all

[Don]

Yeah, as Ken Klepto, Staff Assistant, that round took me through the whole assistant circle of life: being poor and useless; having tons of illegitimate loot; being chased by everyone; losing it all.

By the time I found the HoP, my inventory was full of random shit collected for the sake of collecting them, and I had a pair of thermals the HoS had given out for free. Not only was I busy managing my inventory when the AI spotted me, but I really didn't want to explain the situation to a random officer and risk losing both my thermal goggles and my heavy, electrified boxing gloves.

I spent so much of the round on the run out in space, that I forget that other people than the AI were looking for me. By the time I'd finally uploaded a law to convince him that I was human and not to be tracked or obstructed, everyone else had heard so much shit on the radio that they were out for blood.

I had limped into the medbay with frost burns, laser burns and slasher plant cuts from my time on the run, and only barely had the time to walk around the station as a free man before the new captain spotted me and fired a laser bolt in my direction. Out of options, I ran to EVA to get back out in space. I had dumped my old space gear cause I figured I could finally live with the locals again. Alas. An officer got the jump on me while I was helping myself to a space suit at EVA, and I ended the shift begging that he would keep the captain from murdering me at sight.

[Klayboxx]

MOD EDIT : YES THIS PICTURE OF THE ARRIVAL SHUTTLE ADDS A LOT WITH NO EXPLANATION I AM A GREAT POSTER

[Anticheese]

You guys made UNIVAC feel like the prettiest AI radio host ever.

[Anticheese]

Also, did you know that painting the AI's intercom unit makes its new colour show up in the text window, too?