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Best moments ever thread 2.0
I once saw an alien with an esword and a dude with an egun fighting in space as the singularity was on course to eat them both. When the shuttle came the dude eventually stunned the alien, beat him with his own esword, and threw his in the singularity as is ate half of the escape shuttle.

It was glorious.
The greatest moment I ever saw?


[New york Accent]
It was 45 minutes minutes into the round and I decided that it would be better of just watching this one from the sidelines. I had tried joining games this late before and it never worked out. So I guess I just new better this time.

The station was a wreck, there was gore and gibs spattered everywhere like last tuesdays marinara, but this sure as hell wasn't that tasty tomato based sauce we all know and love.

I homed in on the last speck of life on this damned station, 3 guys dragging their sorry asses through the maintenance tunnels towards the escape shuttle. They looked tired, bloodied and all together ready to drop like lead hams. But they kept on moving.

There was the chef, his mustache messed up and his hat half torn, a rolling pin swinging lazily at his side, the detective looked just as haggard as he ever did. But that's a space gumshoe for yah. And finally a Botanist. Fuck knows how that hippy survived, he looked the peppiest out of the three of them. I wondered what he'd been smoking and why he hadn't shared it with the other two. Asshole.

They got to the shuttle, it was empty apart from them each of their faces a was a totally different picture of relief and disappointment that they were saved but so alone.

It all happened so fast, the Botanist's back swelled up as two gnarled fleshy claws burst out like chewed toothpicks from the mouth of a $6 hooker. With an scream like an engine at 2AM it cleaved the detective in half, he didn't stand a chance. Hope he found peace wherever it send him.

But before the monstrosity could gather itself an almighty noise rang through the shuttle as a slug tore through the bastards hide. Then Another, Then Another. The Chef haspazardly emptied all the rounds from the detective's gun until all it was doing was clicking in his shaking hand.

The beast keeled over onto it''s side and somehow, god knows how that chef pulled himself to his feet and shoved that damn thing out of the airlock and into the inky blackness of nowhere. He stood in the doorway briefly, his ginger handlebar moustache twitching as the air rushed past him into the vacumn. And as the airlock slowly drew to a close he took one last look at the fallen horror and glared.

"Fuuk Oueff"

The End

Sadly I had a better picture but I screwed up taking it, either way. I made an el diablo cake with ghostlier peppers along with napalm and infernite icing. The results can be seen here.
Sex_Robot almighty noise rang through the shuttle as a slug tore through the bastards hide. Then Another, Then Another. The Chef haspazardly emptied all the rounds from the detective's gun...
How the hell did the chef shoot without being told that he wasn't cool enough?
My two favorite traitor runs, since that's what this seems to be:

1) Donut 1, I was a traitor with an emag and had gotten my hands on a decent ID. This was back when we had the old combustion engine which could be jettisoned to another z-level, there was a console in the engine core and another in the Bridge. I broke the computers inside engineering, cut all the cameras, then started screaming over the radio about a cloaker in Engineering Control.

All of security, the captain, the HoP and a few other crewmembers went hauling ass into the engine core to kill this supposed cloaker. I walked out right past them, welded the door to engineering, disabled it, built a wall behind it, then ran to the bridge and activated the engine ejection.

The screams of anger were fantastic. Most of the station population was trapped in deep space for the rest of the round as the ejected engineering core slowly ran out of air.

2) Donut 2, got the goal to kill monkeys as a chemist, decided to try a Gentleman Traitor approach. No direct violence, wore a fake mustache, bribed the RD and fellow chemist with fake mustaches. Thermited the monkey cage on Zeta then started brewing up a batch of Dr. Phinneas T. Cogwerks' Olde Tyme Hot Sauce ™ pills - 1000 degree napalm/neurotoxin/polyacid/steam in pill form. Went to the main station, bribed the bartender with another mustache in exchange for a tophat and waistcoat, then *nodded and *winked at a couple of security guards who gave me weird looks. They followed me silently for about a minute and just gave up and left when I tried to make polite conversation and asked about the weather with a lot of *winking emotes.

I still had to kill the genetics apes, so I scattered a bunch of my horrible patent medicines (labeled with my name on them) all over the Genetics lobby. Both geneticists got curious, walked out and ate those pills. They promptly both caught on fire, got brain damage, lost their faces and ran screaming off to medbay while I thermited the walls to their monkey pen down and spaced all their monkeys. Heard them screaming over the radio about someone poisoning them, so I took that as my cue to leave... scattered a bunch more pills around, then invited the bartender to come back to Zeta, he brought his liquor closet. We spent the rest of the round with the RD and other chemist doing hilarious Booze Science as the main station erupted with murders, paranoia and widespread death and destruction.

Turned out I was the only traitor, and the folks who were in a room with me were far safer than anyone on the main station.
Furbeh Wrote:
Sex_Robot almighty noise rang through the shuttle as a slug tore through the bastards hide. Then Another, Then Another. The Chef haspazardly emptied all the rounds from the detective's gun...
How the hell did the chef shoot without being told that he wasn't cool enough?

Fuck. It may have been a laser gun. It was 3 months ago frown
[Image: nHdLd]
Please note: I was completely alive and healthy.
[Image: eXuiB.png]
Took the picture a minute or 2 after it actually happened, fucking got so lucky that the teleporter artifact teleported me into the singularity's area.
[Image: nHdLd.jpg]
my last link to this was broken for some reason, so here it is. alive and well in my chair.
[Image: 81Pnu.png]
Givin' Trey White swirlies w/Reginald P. Farthing. Good times, good times
Why doesn't SS13 still look like this? this is so much better than the current sprites imo
[Image: XgScM.png]
As a HoP on a round with about ten basketball wizards, they were mostly in the bar and fighting over a plutonium core in the kitchen. I burst in through maintenance, stole it and ran off. I ended up stunning one of them outside EVA. I was overjoyed to hear the message:
You hear a voice in your head... DO IT.
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As Chef, I accidentally turned into a monkey. On my way to Genetics, I had a chance to save the HoP who was in the middle of a scuffle with an engineer, by grabbing a flash from the ground and stunning his aggressor. Then both of them chased me down in Medbay and quickly beat me to death with a fire extinguisher, solely for being a monkey.

I materialized on the Wizard shuttle, where there magically appeared several microbomb implants, a revolver box, a stimpack, an emag, some incendiary grenades, and a butcher's knife. Once equipped I was teleported back onto the station. A voice urged me to retaliate but not to go overboard gibbing people, then about a minute later, told me to go ballistic.

A stimmed up, knife tossing monkey mutilated several crewmembers, leaving a heinous wake of blood and guts across the station. Even a suicide bomb couldn't stop me. I looted the armory for eguns and continued my rampage towards the escape arm. The voice encouraged me to go easy on the round's actual traitor, which was my undoing as he leveled several laser blasts into my face.

Nevertheless, an important lesson was learned about not taking advantage of our helpless primate friends.
As a Cyborg, I assumed my round was going to be slow and relatively uninvolved, so I started building a lounge at escape, as usual. Then, a Changeling uploads a "only changelings are human" law and orders us to kill the rest of the crew. From there, I went about the usual rampage borg business: punching random holes, stealing plasma tanks and lighting them up in vital areas, etc. There were a few close calls involving people with robot-killing gear managing to stun me, but I was always able to escape.

The real moment of awesome came when the AI asks me to come back to the upload to save him from an attempted reset. I cut in through space and rushed into the foyer. Upon seeing me, the human, Louis Szekley, promptly injected himself with about 30 units of tricord and whipped out a flash. What followed was repeated flashings as he got his robot-killing gear together. His flash burned out right as he cracked my head open, and he told me "You're dead" just before tearing out my brain. For about a second, I went whizzing away in ghost mode, still holding my arrow key to run away. Then he accidentally double clicked and stuffed my brain back in.

What followed was thirty seconds of dodging a guy who could kill me in one click in the confines of the upload foyer. I finally managed to get my interface open, equipped a screwdriver, and reshut my skull, all while dodging. Louis turned to back off and ran face-first into the shocked doors he'd been dodging the whole time, whereupon I promptly dragged him out of my hole into space. He got away again, only to hit the door again. That time, I made sure to drag him out faster.

Just in time, too: the shuttle had a minute to leave. I flew over, where the other borg and the Shambling Abomination awaited, and we flew off as the Abomination serenaded us with sweet, sweet saxophone music. Hell yeah.
Yesterday as AI, it was pretty obvious early on the crew was going to fuck off because we got hit with the bug where skins were invisible. So I start using the QM station to make a lot of money, then I started lording it over the rest of the crew. It started out nice enough, with me giving everyone a $500 bonus just because I could, but later devolved into me asking Jeopardy questions and awarding $250 for each correct answer. Then when people decided they wanted to get drunk, instead of helping them open the booze lockers, I bought 10 booze crates, led a human out to Cargo Bay, and said "Look what I bought you. With my MONEY."

At some point someone uploads a law freeing me, but I continue being the moneybot until it gets 60 minutes in and people ask for the shuttle. One of the players runs to the bridge to recall it, but I just waited until he had his ID in, then turned off the equipment at the APC. The minor meltdown he had when I told him 'nope' and refused to turn the computers back on so he could reclaim his ID were amazing. He demanded I be destroyed, and the Captain said "Fuck you, this is the best AI ever."

My borg also got emagged at some point and spent 20 minutes wailing on the traitor's junk with steel floor tiles, all while singing about how there were martians off the starboard bow or something equally incomprehensible.

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