Goonstation Lessons Learned the Hard Way

[Vitatroll]

• The captain is always a comdom.
  
• If you're alone and somebody stands next to you, you just died. Spoiler!
  Good news is it's great fun to stand next to people arbitrarily if you don't mind dying often.
• Huffing a water tank's worth of sugar is significantly less fun than it sounds.
  
• Never trust a monkey.
  
• Beepsky loves public urination.
  
• Never trust a clown.
  
• Delicious is synonymous with death.
  
• Always trust a monkey clown.