What do YOU do as Staff Assistant?

[Nnystyxx]

Title says it all. What kinds of chicanery have you gotten up to in times where you had no real duties? What kinds of gimmicks or ways of annoying or disturbing the populace have crossed your mind, and how do people tend to react?

My current favorite thing to do is get a lighter and some cards, then the wizard/DM ensemble from the game room near botany, and start yelling 'FIREBALL' as I throw flaming playing cards at random objects like loose papers and bins.

[Ed Venture]

I like to steal shoes when I am in a grey suit.

[medsal15]

Walk around the station, open doors, ask the HoP for all access, hack in the captain's room for the spare, look for the captain, forget about it, hacks in genetics, and lot of stuff.

[69andahalf]

I just wander around until I find something to do. Generally works out pretty well!

[Noah Buttes]

Act as cannon fodder in the defense against blobs, syndicates, and wizards.

[TheNewTeddy]

Suicide sometimes.

I really wish you could put staff assistant as unwanted, and just be spawned in as an observer/ghost if you can't get the job(s) you want.

[atomic1fire]

I dunno, the worst most recent thing I did was discover you can hack into one of the security posts, and the red chutes connect to sec lobby so you can ride into it. From there I set myself to incarcerated just to see if Beepsky would chase me. I'm pretty sure the admins don't really like people breaking into sec though.

Usually my assistant shenanigans consists of hacking stuff or exploring space. I'm too lazy to figure doors out so breaking into stuff mostly consists of apc hacks and turning walls into fake walls.

I try to avoid angering sec outright on goonstation, but getting into places in a less then legal means is one of those assistant things that never gets old, especially when the map changes and I have to figure out new places to breach.

I have however used my powers of burglary to get security officers back into security when their ID went missing. Beepsky's little house serves as an easy break in point if you kill the power and can crawl under plastic flaps.

[Triacontakai]

Spending the entire round in tech storage with packet shenanigans or explore space. Also "borrowing" things from secure lockers (again with packets).

[babayetu83]

mug people

[Vitatroll]

'Collect' things. Find a good death. These are my SA prime directives.

Funfact: I usually wind up with more access and dangerous things as staff assistant than any other job. I'm not as nerdy as I used to be, but for a while I used to grab the buddies as bodyguards and remotely teleport everything I wanted to tech storage or some other hole. Having telsci be blamed for every theft was just icing. Did get boring though, so now I stick to manual or pda hacks.

[Jebediah Kerman]

find trouble mostly, or if I find something to do that isn't fighting then I just do that

[Grek]

Wire art.

[TheNewTeddy]

I did win 1M on the slots once (while a SA on a round I didn't want it)

[Cirrial]

Go where I want, do what I want (within game rules). See if anyone notices. Upstage people at doing their jobs then get bored and wander off. Find new and exotic ways to die horribly. Help people out with stuff. "Help" people out with stuff while fucking up terribly, intentionally or otherwise. Wear a clown suit and be mocked for being a second-rate clown wannabe. Break into the bar and brew weird chemicals. Escape the places I break into via riding the disposals, putting my whole life on the line in the process. The list goes on, really.

[Grumpchkin]

I enjoy setting up a shop in the market by going to the faint signal and opening all of the crates+safe, usually there is a gold bar to sell to a vendor for cash and some goodies to start your shop with, then it's usually just buying and selling anything.