Best Comebacks

[vyse11]

This thread is here for you people to post all of your moments where you nearly died, and managed to survive at the last second. My best was when a vampire had me down in the captains office, he was in the process of drinking my blood when I managed to grab the jetpack off of the rack and knock him out in two shots. He had an AK-744 tactical in his backpack and I killed him with it. What was your best comeback?

[BlackPhoenix]

I was the HoS, and a changeling had captured me and drug me into space. Unfortunately for him, you can't simply kill a Flarearms. I got back up before the suffocation damage got me and whipped out my taser, stunning him. It was then that the singularity happened to break through the wall beside us. Both of our bodies floated into it, instantly gibbing us both and fueling it's single-minded rage. We laughed about it in deadchat, and it turned out he was the only antagonist for the round. This HoS always gets his man...well mostly...usually...eh...

[I-Sett]

Bah Blackphoenix, always get your man? I remember as a traitor botanist I had a bucket of cyanide stashed away and came running at you in the pool area with a cyanide pen in my hand. You freaked out, tased me, buckled me in customs while looking for anything traitorous. Just CERTAIN you had seen a tiny 3 pixel weapon of some kind in my hand. You emptied out my pockets and bag. What's that? oh just a harmless pen nearly invisible under a mountain of generic backpack flotsam. Believe yourself to have made some sort of error, I was released back into the station at large with a stern warning. A few minutes later you were dead outside a maintenance corridor with more cyanide in your veins than blood.

[BlackPhoenix]

Bah Blackphoenix, always get your man? I remember as a traitor botanist I had a bucket of cyanide stashed away and came running at you in the pool area with a cyanide pen in my hand. You freaked out, tased me, buckled me in customs while looking for anything traitorous. Just CERTAIN you had seen a tiny 3 pixel weapon of some kind in my hand. You emptied out my pockets and bag. What's that? oh just a harmless pen nearly invisible under a mountain of generic backpack flotsam. Believe yourself to have made some sort of error, I was released back into the station at large with a stern warning. A few minutes later you were dead outside a maintenance corridor with more cyanide in your veins than blood.

I don't know -why- I didn't check the damn pen. I also got my man...then let him go. I -never- said I don't let them go...fuck that was so much damn cyanide.

[Kaet]

I think my best comeback was when I tried to save the CE from being absorbed by a changeling on the mining shuttle.
I ran into the shuttle from the engine room but I couldnt get him out due to magnet boots and got myself spat at. I woke up on the mining station along with some other guy who I guess he left for dead.
From there I asked the AI to set the teleporter to the bridge, cause I had the hand teleporter and the CEs ID that the changeling strangely enough didnt loot from the CE.
I called the shuttle and armed myself with a laser gun I found and set out to hunt the changeling.
I find him in the chapel in horror form and for some reason hes in regeneration stasis or whatever and theres nobody else around.
I load him up with some laser shots and send him off to the gibber.
No idea why he was regenerating in the middle of the chapel. Maybe a misclick with the changeling powers.
Either way that changeling should have killed me when it had the chance. But I guess he didnt expect much of an assistant who ran head first into danger without any kind of weapon.(i.e. most assistants)

[Dachshundofdoom]

On my one (and only ) changeling round, there was a serious amount of space lag and I ended up faceplanting on my victims because Regen Stasis shifted into Neurosting's place...twice. The first time, the guy presumably went braindead, which is why I got away with it. The second time, it was on a Security Guard in the middle of the chapel. I'm laying there, cursing my stupidity and bad luck, when this guy walks in and stares at us both. At that exact instant, I rise from the dead, replete with blazing red message. The guy stares at me, apparently seeing nothing wrong with this, and wanders off without a word. I grab the officer and start dragging him to maint when he wakes up and tazes me. Before he can get away, I sting him again. He staggers down the hallway, manages to slur that I'm a changeling to an assistant, then passes out again. The guy tells me what he said about me while aiming a taser at my face, but I somehow managed to convince him that he was stung by a changeling which I chased off, and that I was dragging him to Medbay, but he mistook me for the ling when he woke up. The best part was: the guy left me with the officer. I did not make the same mistake twice.

[h3half]

I saw this thread and got really excited to read comebacks to insults and stuff.

I'm kinda disappointed now

[FrontlineAcrobat4]

I saw this thread and got really excited to read comebacks to insults and stuff.

I'm kinda disappointed now

No that was YOUR cat being a fat JERK

[MEOW POW]

I was rping a mute and then I was arrested because I pushed down a roboticist

anyway the detective was joke interrogating me and like hitting me and stuff while I sat there crying.

when he lets me out and uncuffs me I immediately knock him out with my ultra powerful cripple arms toned from years of writing instead of speaking and begin to kick the shit out of him and then handcuff him, I begin to drag him to Medbay intending to remove his ass and force him to wear it when the captain Adam Holdeman (REAL ASSHOLE) stuns me with his taser, and then drags me through the new bridge to security.

I slip away back to the bridge, see the detective I handcuffed sitting there, as the captain did not remove his cuffs, I push him aside to interrupt his removal, then stand in the top left corner, behind the potted plant, and sit there removing my handcuffs.

The cap comes back, walking around like an idiot looking for me as the detective whispers my location to him, I uncuff myself, run out, and punch the Detective (AGAIN BECAUSE I HATE HIM) and knock him out instantly (AGAIN BECAUSE IM BUFF).

The captain tasers me pointblank and (this is why he is an asshole) actually blindfolded me and disposaled me, I had no idea he had done this until i got my cuffs and then blindfold off, luckily the thing was off, And I sat there wordlessly banging at the window until some dudes came in and freed me.

I later went towards the shuttle (it had been called by then), found the detective among the people sitting there waiting for it, smiled and squinted at him and then knocked him out (AGAIN) in one hit, dragged him to a hallway away from escape, and began to kick the shit out of him once more, he recovered, and hit me with an unactivated baton set to harm, knocking me out in 3 hits.

I lay there unconscious for about 30 seconds, When I got up, There were -7- seconds left to get to the shuttle. I ran, kicking aside the fucking clownspiders some admin had spawned there, making it onto the shuttle at the very last second, escaping with the rest of the crew and shitloads of icespiders some admin spawned on the shuttle.

It was fun round for me

[Homunculus Manslave]

I spawned in as a security off intent on ridding the station of corrupting and bringing justice to the people. I burst into the customs office, push the HoP aside and grab the full-access ID he was making. I scream about how it is contraband and how he is undermining the authority of the Captain. But I was too slow and the HoP flashes me. The detective and a random electrician dubbed "The Head of Electricians" show up to assist the HoP as the HoP was also screaming about how I assaulted him and am a terrible person.

They decide to make me their cluwne. I get stripped of my ID and given a humiliating one. They let me go, for now. I run around the station begging the Captain for help who only tells me to "Go see the HoP" I curse him. After a few minutes of freedom the HoP catches up with me again, flashes me and begins to strip me while the Detective and Electrician kick and insult me. I am now no longer an officer of the law, but a gibbering cluwne.

I am released. The bulk of the round I am running for my life as the trio hunts me down only to flash and beat me up before I get up and manage to hide. During one of those beatings I disarm the HoP flash him (As he was switching between thermals and sunglasses) and manage to steal his ID. Now he is angry and is screaming over the radio for me. I decide not to have the ID on me in case if I get captured again and hide it in the VR room crate and then I change its location and hide it in the backroom of the barber's office.

While exiting the barber's the HoP pushes past me and runs into the backroom and he broadcasts about how he found the ID. The Detective yells at him to get to customs. I'm not having any of this, I'm not letting them push me around again. I corner the HoP in the backroom and we stand toe to toe punching and attack each other with the razor blade. Somehow I knock the HoP out. I strip and cuff him to the chair beating him into crit in the process. I change into his clothes while I put the clown uniform on him.

As I am not a murderer I drag my wounded self and him to the medbay where I mix up some tricord. Instead of reviving him right there I take him to the interrogation room for a chat. I heal him right up and tell him and the station that he is the new cluwne and should be treated as such. The HoP manages to use the intercom through the window and screams for the Detective to save him. The Detective comes through the security side and frees the HoP. I saunter out of the interrogation room, taking the backways to EVA where I don a spacesuit and hide out in space for the rest of the round. All while the trio is cursing me and trying to get crew riled up.

Right before the shuttle comes I ask the HoP: "I saved you, will you save me?" I get no response as it turns out someone brought a light grenade that looks like a butcher's knife on the escape shuttle. As I get on the shuttle from space I see the Detective flash into nothingness, then, the shuttle leaves.

[bladex454]

Did not know bout the machiniations of you that round believe I was the captain...sorry

[bladex454]

It was one of my first times on Cogblap, I signed up as a MD and went to get a ID Change and surprisingly a man with an obsidian crown was beating the hop to death. I threw my PDA at him so he would attack me but he ignored me and continued the beating. I tried to help the security team but was warped into the security area and all I could do was steal a hat and go into the public prison. (I also had the Port-A-Brig remote) anyways a new prisoner arrived, he was screaming about the revolution. I didn't know this and didn't care really. Anyways as a officer set us free a strange new turn of events happened. Lava, lava came pouring in from everywhere and managed to get the AI to open the HoS office. I was trapped and the bridge filled up too. So now my only option was to wait until the shuttle left or not. The AI was torn between laws so I asked him to "accidentally" open a door so that I may die with honor. As the door opened I stepped proudly into the lava, however I didn't burn horribly so I told the AI I was alive but I think he depowered himself so I was alone.I saluted as the shuttle left the station.
NEXT TIME,
My first nuke ops round

[Timelimit]

It was one of my first times on Cogblap, I signed up as a MD and went to get a ID Change and surprisingly a man with an obsidian crown was beating the hop to death. I threw my PDA at him so he would attack me but he ignored me and continued the beating. I tried to help the security team but was warped into the security area and all I could do was steal a hat and go into the public prison. (I also had the Port-A-Brig remote) anyways a new prisoner arrived, he was screaming about the revolution. I didn't know this and didn't care really. Anyways as a officer set us free a strange new turn of events happened. Lava, lava came pouring in from everywhere and managed to get the AI to open the HoS office. I was trapped and the bridge filled up too. So now my only option was to wait until the shuttle left or not. The AI was torn between laws so I asked him to "accidentally" open a door so that I may die with honor. As the door opened I stepped proudly into the lava, however I didn't burn horribly so I told the AI I was alive but I think he depowered himself so I was alone.I saluted as the shuttle left the station.
NEXT TIME,
My first nuke ops round

wait how was this a comeback

[bladex454]

I stepped in lava took damage for half a second and my dyslexia shall die. yeah wrong thread but still I managed to not die in lava

[Sord213]

Someone pushed me down and farted on me.



So I cut his head open with my energy sword.