My quest for no-fun supercop - A HoS Application
#1
Usual Character Name: Elder Muffin
Byond Username: Bologna Prime
Recommended By: ClassyD, FishDance
Time Available: No exact time in particular.

Reason for application: The HoS, with his spiffy energy gun and closet full of weapons, has a special tool that helps install confidence in the crew and security force. That tool is a slightly different red suit, beret, and an ID saying "Hello world, I wrote a short essay on why I should be a space cop!". The HoS radiates an illusory aura that convinces the crew that he isn't just some taser bolt flinging baboon that gets turned into paste by the bad guy, even when he is a much bigger pasting target for bad guys and is successfully pasted quite a few times! Being the big fuzzy teddy bear with a t-shirt saying "It's okay guys" and a shotgun saying "no meanies allowed" is like being a regular security officer except people expect you to trip on your baton and immediately get eaten by whatever scary is around less and to be more not shit. Competence is all well and good but being not shit is why the daunting task of writing an application that is judged by the council of people who bothered to read it is required for police commissioners of space. I'm applying because I play security quite often and the position of HoS makes that job easier to do as an individual and having a HoS around is likely to mean things will be easier for the security team in general in the event of teamwork. Disclaimer: NanoTrasen is not required to replace or repair HoS in the event of damage to crew trust caused by the following: "SHITCURITY!!!!! HOS ARRESTING ME FOR NO REASON", "HOS IS LING IN C- URK!", or "Hhhoooosss miiinnlaaavve kkiillllllliiinngg mmmee". HoS will only be replaced in the event of gibbing. HoS is not fryer-safe. If you have any complaints about your HoS please send them to station coordinates 178,158 and we will make sure to get back to you.

Security Experience: Oh shit I needed experience for this job? My 'pr0 sec stratz' include starting off the day with nabbing the insulated gloves; because I'm pretty good at getting those gloves. I've learned to keep my stunbaton on my belt and my tasergun in my backpack, because the hooligans that want to murder you will almost always go for your pack first if they get you stunned. This leaves them in a position for you to baton them when they least expect it during those few seconds of being both unstunned and on the floor. After being equipped I attend to my post at the front desk of security. The front desk is a place where you are both shielded from the horrible people in the halls, and yet you are there in case the horrible people need something. I usually stay at the desk until somebody yells for security over the radio, then it is time for security man to do his job. How does security man do job? I will tell you. Fighting crime is like being crime, except your weapons aren't cool and people might yell at you when you beat the crime. Crime comes in many shapes and sizes, it is important to how to fight these different crimes. A treasonous criminal is a criminal of many cooky tricks, these tricks cannot be deployed when they have been knocked onto the grimy floor and put in cuffs, however. Traitors are the dudes that Security will end up encountering most often and are also the dudes Security is best equipped to combat. This doesn't mean that traitors won't make it hard for you to catch them. They generally have two possible reactions to your presence, "oh no the cops are here I better take off" or "argh let's fight". Traitors usually come out to fight when nobody is around; they initiate fight time by wiggling around and trying to find a good place to shoot you with their ultimate fight shooters. Knowing when this wiggle is taking place can prove useful when a traitor is using a one-shot fight murderer so you can be prepared to run and have their fight bolt miss. The scrambling around as they reach for another weapon/try to shoot you for real this time is your best opportunity to hit them with a stun burst and haul them to the brig for naptime. Naptime is where all the yelling starts; most of the yelling comes from whether or not somebody killed somebody. My policy on execution has generally been never to kill anybody that hasn't killed anyone else unless the brig is inaccessible and I'm stuck with the villain. If baddie the bad guy killed somebody I'll probably stick to confiscation and some time in the brig. If baddie the badder guy went and murdered a buncha people with a saber rip is ye. I think "rip is ye" is a good final 3 words so rip is ye.

In your opinion, what are the flaws and benefits of the current security layout (brig, cells, security room etc): The layout of security is pretty nice, I do miss having a maintenance route into security however. Maybe there could be a maintenance tunnel leading to the belt ejector room. The only complaint other than that is the problem of (at least since the last time I checked) there being 5 security officers max and only 4 lockers in security. I propose that instead of having 5 officers spawning in Security that we could have 4 officers in security and 1 officer spawning in the security checkpoint.

Previous Bans: Dayban
#2
Bomb has been planted

Bologna wins

(Yes, elder has been a good cop ever since I saw him)
#3
Loney is a silly guy with many tricks up his sleeve, in that sense he is much like the scum that he is trying to combat. Who better to fight the villains that threaten the station than one who thinks as they do? All things considered though Loney is perfect for the job, he's got the experience and the robustness to be able to gain control of a situation easily, but knows that sometimes assuming direct control and going full try-hard mode isn't necessarily the right option. 100% yes from me, give him a goofy hat to go with his silly demeanor.
#4
SgtBriar Wrote:(Yes, elder has been a good cop ever since I saw him)


Same here, you have been pretty awesome and you would definitely make for a good HOS.
#5
I told Elder a long time ago he could use me as a recommendation for a HoS app and I stand by it. Good guy, by no means a Shitler in any way, shape, or form, knows how to work the business end of a stun baton, and above all else he has a funny hairstyle like all the other HoS's.
#6
You are a good player and fun to be around, and I really want to say yes. That said, I have not seen you in several months and I've played extensively as of late. I'm saying no until I see you around more.
#7
Ali0en Wrote:You are a good player and fun to be around, and I really want to say yes. That said, I have not seen you in several months and I've played extensively as of late. I'm saying no until I see you around more.

I'm not sure what server you usually play on, but I've been on #4 a fair bit in the past few weeks.
#8
I play on 4 and haven't seen you.
#9
Muffin is a good person.
#10
Just weighing in my support for this. Elder is a very good cop and would make a great addition to the line of berets.
#11
Yeah, totally. Also: really happy with this trend of stellar players applying for HoS. Now if they actually play it, like I never did...!


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