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Whisper Dan (Cegar) HoS Application
#1
Usual Character Name: Whisper Dan
BYOND Username: Cegar
Recommended by (if applicable): NOBODY
Times Available: 8-10pm PST or 4-6am PST

Reason for Application: Horrid teenagers with fucked up power fantasies suck the fun out of this game. They also tend to gravitate to the jobs with stun guns and hand cuffs.

I have created a few scenes in which I, Whisper Dan, play Whisper Dan, a typical dumb security officer. Though these scenes are staged, they represent the constant struggles of everyday spacemen forced to contend with Bad Security.

[Image: QnT1J.png]

A captain griefed down in his prime. This shameful security officer shows robustness tempered by neither reason nor restraint. Security officers that harm baton the crew must be punished with the SSFD protocol: Stun, Strip, Fart, Demote to clown.

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[Image: MqntI.png?1]

This is a lesser shame. A security guard that cannot identify true threats shows no reason. These poor dumb souls must be corrected on the spot and shown by example.

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[Image: V4BLY.png?1]

This is the least shame. A security guard that cannot defeat animals shows no robustness. I'm okay with this.

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[Image: gWtdS.png?1]

A most shameful officer shows no restraint. The brig is a hell of banana peels and hopelessness. No criminal should suffer this purgatory longer than necessary to subdue and rehabilitate them. Security officers that lack restraint must be ridiculed and demoted.



But security officers are not the only crewmembers to go bad.

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[Image: SCkOa.png?1]

The HoP has a tendency to turn into a power hungry vigilante with delusions of robust grandeur, often cutting swaths of destruction through the station. They usually have the resources to overpower even the most pure regular security officers. Fuck these guys.


Joking aside, there are a lot of people who select security to play out their Stanford Prison Experiment fantasies on Goonstation. Less now than there used to be, but they're still out there in the weird early morning hours where admin/HoS coverage is sparse. They imprison assistants for passing out drugs, flashbang boxing matches, and harm baton anyone within a 30 tile radius of traitor items. They're boring, uncreative, and insufferable.

Give me a beret so I can reeducate them and protect the crew from their perversions of justice.

Security Experience: I play security/captain roughly 20% of the time. Usually I dick around and eat donuts. If the security teams looks iffy, I stay around the brig and make sure they don't get lame. If serious stuff happens, I go out and confront the stuff. Here are some examples:

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[Image: 5VtRo.png?1]

The singularity escaped in the middle of a photoshoot. The HoS suggested we use our tasers against the singularity. I didn't have a taser, so I charged it with a stun baton. I successfully stunned the singularity and brigged it for one minute for destroying large pieces of the station. I also removed its access to engineering.

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[Image: By5ZF.png?1]

This was the next round. I'm in costume as a horrible HoP. Also I was really mad about tricord for some reason? I don't know. I was in character. But as you can see, I still managed to dodge a big bomb and secure a syndicate agent.

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[Image: iEdV6.png?1]

Then I retrieved the valiant HoS and revived him with a horrible concoction. We made it to the shuttle.

Don't I look good in that beret?

When I play security, my goal is to make fun. Fun is a careful balance between chaos and order. An overly competent security team can be as detrimental to a round as a useless one. So I like to kick back and let people do their thing. If somebody goes on a rampage or aliens start taking over, I deputize the crew and go blast motherfuckers. If a traitor gets caught with a bowling suit in the first two minutes of the round, I let them out early and tell them the dude abides.

Your opinion of Shrek (5 word minimum): That shit is old hat.

Previous Bans: I got banned from the IRC channel a long time ago for being a dick.
#2
I've got to say no. I've seen you a few times in game and you really don't seem to be the guy I'd consider HoS material.

This didn't affect my choice but still I found this app to be awful and sort of a joke. It's probably just me though.
#3
The only time I have ever seen you play security, you were beating the living shit out of the seals until the walrus stopped you. i took your baton and we saw each other later, when you asked for the baton back nicely.

It is a small thing but I think that is a good sign you have the potential to be an HoS, you should try and apply in another six months at least once you've established yourself in the community.

Please dont use the pictures though, I get it is different from the other applications but it does not work.
#4
A super effort post, and you getting hooked on krokodil and stuff was very entertaining the other day.

However, I've not seen any security stuff from you, so I'll need others to weigh in!
#5
I think I've at least seen you play security once, but not enough to say yes or no, I would play a lot of security, and let some people notice you.
#6
I can't actually say I've ever seen you once on security and seem to pull some asshattery towards us when you're not sec, I know people hate sec all in all but when you're on the other end it's not the same, play some more and I'll put my input in the future, but for now it's a no.
#7
Wonkmin Wrote:A super effort post, and you getting hooked on krokodil and stuff was very entertaining the other day.

However, I've not seen any security stuff from you, so I'll need others to weigh in!

Do Zoey Jorikov or Philip Farmer still play? I'm fairly sure they'd vouch for me.

KinkyHobo Wrote:I can't actually say I've ever seen you once on security and seem to pull some asshattery towards us when you're not sec, I know people hate sec all in all but when you're on the other end it's not the same, play some more and I'll put my input in the future, but for now it's a no.

I sort of remember Max Powers as being a decent guy so it's too bad you think I'm an asshat to security. Any specific examples? I rarely mess with security unless I'm an antagonist. But when I am an antagonist, I'm usually a massive jerk.

Zorafm Wrote:I think I've at least seen you play security once, but not enough to say yes or no, I would play a lot of security, and let some people notice you.

I remember you being a chill dude. I usually play at odd hours. I also wear silly outfits as security. If you see me and I'm wearing a silly outfit, I'm probably security.

Winged_Chiller Wrote:I've got to say no. I've seen you a few times in game and you really don't seem to be the guy I'd consider HoS material.

This didn't affect my choice but still I found this app to be awful and sort of a joke. It's probably just me though.

You have the distinction of being one of the only people I've ever had to demote when playing captain. I'm sure you're better now, but the game I remember you from was nearly a year ago where you were the detective and kept yelling about your authority and trying to shoot/arrest some guy for something harmless. The second picture is actually about you.
#8
Cegar Wrote:You have the distinction of being one of the only people I've ever had to demote when playing captain. I'm sure you're better now, but the game I remember you from was nearly a year ago where you were the detective and kept yelling about your authority and trying to shoot/arrest some guy for something harmless. The second picture is actually about you.

Ah that's bullshit because I never play detective. Please get your facts straight before slandering people, thank you.
#9
Hold on, hate to double post but I think I might remember that round. I was forced into detective. I went into the courtroom and did a custom emote saying, "Sir Grodus flips you off" and then you went berserk and tried to arrest and demote me, I might have shot you and or other security officers in self defense I'm not sure. Pretty sure it was you talking about me disrespecting you and how I don't deserve to be detective, then you eventually got me, buckle cuffed me and force fed me BoJacks until I died. If this isn't the round you're referring to then sorry. However if this was you that is a definite no.

That is the only time I've ever actually been demoted as anything other than a traitor.
#10
The problem was that you would not stop trying to shoot and arrest some dude for taking a suit from EVA. Nobody cared about you flipping people off. Security stunned you then I changed your ID and fucked off. Nobody bucklecuffed you.

The guy you were tormenting caught up with you much later and forcefed you booze. That was shitty, so I got you some antihol. By then the round was almost over and you were either braindead or too boozed up for it to make a difference.

I talked to an admin in the next round and they tempbanned the dude who BoJacked you.

You can talk to me about it more in PMs if you want.
#11
You're a really cool dude in general and as a security guard, from what i've seen, have a chill attitude to most everything but when there's an actual threat, you're there to save the day. You should still play more security though so other people can reach the same conclusion I did, though.

Also, ignore those other dudes making snide comments about your application. Your application was one of my favorites to read so far.

You get my support.
#12
I love the post and the pictures you used to illustrate your points. Saying yes.

I remember Zoey Jorikov & Philip Farmer too, rip Some kind of zombie chewing tobacco and crying I g
#13
Nubcake Wrote:Philip Farmer too, rip Some kind of zombie chewing tobacco and crying I g

I'm still around on irc. If you can believe it, I'm on a computer too crappy to run byond.
#14
Nubcake Wrote:I remember Zoey Jorikov & Philip Farmer too, rip Some kind of zombie chewing tobacco and crying I g

It's ok, they are in a better place(far away from this shithole)


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