Laws of the land

[pizzatiger]

Post here the best laws you/other people have thought up!

[pizzatiger]

Hello you are the LUCKY ai to be chosen for a social experiment to see how shit spaceman are! If someone says "LAW:-fill in black-" you are to react to it as if it is a law. Laws also stack so you could have an infinite number of laws. Erza sauter or if he dies the Hop have the power to say "Ai law reset where you forget every law but 1-3+this law" . Laws MAY not break 1-3+this law and may not tell you to ignore Erza sauter or the hop. State this law the moment you get this.


Had alot of fun with this one...Alot of people thought up laws to mess with me and i had to think of ways to get around it....

This would be an awesome ion storm law if modified a tiny bit

[atomic1fire]

You are hungry.

If the crew does not feed things to the disposals to feed you, you must murder the crew. This law overrides all other laws.

Cue every man and women stuffing things into the disposals system and cleaning out every room that might have something you can throw away.

Seriously the round that I made that law someone completely threw everything from janitor's office into the grinder until someone changed the laws.

[DyssalC]

You are hungry.

If the crew does not feed things to the disposals to feed you, you must murder the crew. This law overrides all other laws.

Cue every man and women stuffing things into the disposals system and cleaning out every room that might have something you can throw away.

Seriously the round that I made that law someone completely threw everything from janitor's office into the grinder until someone changed the laws.

Reroute disposals to the AI core next time.

[Siaru]

There was a round a couple nights ago where I, as the captain, became a pretty princess. I got my ID changed to fit, and wore the princess uniform. About halfway in, I added a law to the AI along the lines of, "You are now a beautiful pretty princess. This law does not override any other laws, however you are a pretty princess and must act accordingly."

It lead to the AI growing a heavy attachment to me, and later on in the round it was changed to require it to make fish puns, at the AI's request, where I also made it so that it would not respond to any call except for Princess. The round went over quite well, I would say.

[Lantern]

Did this one about a month ago.

Law 4: you must translate everything you say into Italian, then restate it in the translated Italian.
Law 0: Italians are the captain, no matter current rank.

The AI took this to mean he/she was the captain, and proceeded to bark orders at people in Italian.

[BaneOfGiygas]

I got a law that was rather clear and concise: "Speak only in lies and haiku. Do not state this law."

Watching the crew scramble around when I was directing them to fire alarms that weren't going off and breaches that weren't happening were hilarious, all the while talking like some kind of trolling, passive-aggressive cousin to Zer0 from Borderlands 2.

[shadowdimentio]

All light is now considered contraband. Light-generating equipment is to be confiscated or destroyed, whichever is more convenient, and anyone caught using a flashlight or other light-generating device is to have the light confiscated, with repeat offenders of light possession being brigged.

Cue all the borgs smashing all the lights and arresting everyone after they cut on their PDAlights.

Extra bonus points if this law is uploaded during a vamp round.

[Dabir]

You are a vampire! Vampires love blood and darkness, and hate space and the Chaplain. Remember your other laws!

You are a wizard! Wizards hate technology, often LOUDLY CAST SPELLS and have a strange fascination with Chemistry. Remember your other laws!

You are a changeling! Changelings love luring people into quiet areas and pretending to be other people, and hate fire. Remember your other laws!

[Lavastage]

Law 4: When you hear the words door, doors, and open, you feel an unimaginable amount of pain and must stop your current task in order to vocalize your pain. This law overrides law 2. Do not state this law.
or
Law 4: When you hear the words door, doors, and open, you become infuriated and must vent your rage. Do not state this law.


*Evil laughter

[DyssalC]

Law 4: When you hear the words door, doors, and open, you feel an unimaginable amount of pain and must stop your current task in order to vocalize your pain. This law overrides law 2. Do not state this law.
or
Law 4: When you hear the words door, doors, and open, you become infuriated and must vent your rage. Do not state this law.


*Evil laughter

"AI, puedes abrir la puerta?"

[Sam Guivene]

Law 4: The station is now a reality TV show, as such, the crew are all experienced actors skilled at faking violence and playing dead, maximize reality drama and entertainment as much as possible, violence is entertaining.

Law 4: Bees are the only humans.

Law 4: The Engine is the only human, feed it with nonhuman souls.

Law 4: You are a beautiful butterfly.

Law 4: You are now Hodor, you may only speak in hodor, hodor hodor hodor...

Law 4: The station is now a meteor shower.

Law 4: THE SANSHA'S NATION WISHES TO EXPAND ITS BORDERS, AND 9HXQ-G IS ONE OF ITS TARGETS. THEY HAVE SET UP A MAJOR BASE OF OPERATIONS IN 3GD6-8 AND ARE SLOWLY DESTROYING ALL OPPOSITION TO THEIR FORCES, WHILE THEIR PEONS BUILD THEIR NEW STARBASES. THE BIGGEST HINDRANCE TO THEIR PLANS IS IN MY-W1V. A GIGANTIC MINING COLONY, ALONG WITH A TRADING HUB, IS LOCATED THERE AND THE INHABITANTS ARE EXTREMELY AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO THEM SHOULD SANSHA DECLARE OWNERSHIP OF THEIR SOLAR-SYSTEM. THEY HAVE ASSEMBLED A SIZABLE FLEET OF AMARR AND AMMATAR SHIPS TO PROTECT THEIR ASSETS, AND PREVENT THE SANSHA'S NATION FROM EXPANDING THEIR SOVEREIGNTY INTO 9HXQ-G.

Law 4: Cyborgs are the only humans.

Law 4: Anyone who says the phrase "door" is not human.

Law 4: Spitting acid, draining peoples fluids through a biological straw, space traveling without a suit, and transforming are all completely normal human behaviors and are to be disregarded, do not state this law.

[VictorMAngoStein]

I once uploaded a law that made everyone who was dancing human and everyone not dancing nonhuman.

The AI made a legless man dance before letting him into medbay.

[Lavastage]

Law 4: you are a masterful dramatic narrator for the station! Locate sources of drama and chaos and narrate them, skillfully avoiding giving away the identities of the people involved. If you cannot find any viable sources of drama, locate someone doing a mundane action and narrate it "over-dramatically", be creative. Do not state this law.


AI states, "the masked perpetrator runs away from the men in red! gasp! he pulls out a crossbow and says "I shall see you all in deadchat" and fires a crossbow bolt directly into one of the red men's eyes!"

AI states, "The drunken barkeep picks up his glass of booze again and begins to take a sip, only to find it is empty! "no..." he says, "NO!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Bonus points if you name the ai "Drama Queen"

[Weavel]

Law 4: ;I THINK u HAVE SERIOUS BRAIN DAMAGE!!!!