A Discussion on Metatrust

[Solenoid]

Hi all. I wanted to create a space to discuss issues relating to the metatrust issues we've seen on RP, especially as more faces become "trusted", or "untrusted" with recent pop increases. I've had some good discussions on the Discord about it, and figured it may be nice to have a space to talk about it here too.

Metatrust is, in my opinion, the new form of metacliquing. Yes, it's good that our server culture has(generally) moved away from groups of players physically isolating themselves to avoid other players, but I still think that there is a lot of bias in terms of static characters vs. random names, new faces vs. old timers, etc. This makes it difficult to get experience as a new player, makes getting recognized as a new character difficult, and leads to situations where people will just ignore you at times because they don't want you to do the work. It is the more mechanical version of metacliquing to me. Where instead of avoiding new/unfamiliar players while RPing, it's more focused on avoiding new/unfamiliar players to do mechanical things(surgeries, construction, etc).

On one hand, it's hard to ask people to just "trust" people more as players, but on the other- that's literally the whole point of Rules 1&3 of our RP servers! Your character should realistically trust a doctor to be a doctor, an engineer to be an engineer, and a chef to be a chef, regardless of the player of those jobs' OOC understanding of the mechanics, unless proven otherwise. If there's an engineer you've never seen in round before, I feel like it should be assumed ICly that they can do all the same things as that long time engineering character you've known for 2 years, but I really do not feel like this is the case when I play random name characters, and I sometimes do not feel as trusted by the station when playing someone that most players don't know. 

I know this behavior falls under metagaming rules, and I know ahelping these incidents can help to address the situation, but I also feel like people should be able to discuss this in a constructive way and share their experiences that may help to open up dialogue, just like how we had a discussion on metacliquing. I also want to say I almost exclusively play "low-pop" RP and that I am only one person, which may bias my observations. If you don't feel like this behavior is something you've seen, or don't believe it to be as much of an issue as I'm saying it is, also feel free to contribute and make yourself heard.

So, to foster a discussion, I want to ask some guiding questions inspired by the original post on metacliques:

How can can you behave in ways which avoid metatrust? Have you ever been ignored or excluded from something for not having a "trustworthy enough" character? How can you try to correct this behavior in others through promoting more healthy RP norms and avoid being bystanders when others are excluded? Does being considered to not be "trustworthy" make you feel any certain way? Ultimately, what is metatrust to you and how has it affected your time as a player?

[Drakios]

I for my self try to ignore my meta trust as best as possible, there are players were I can tell very fast that they are an antag so I just play dumb and act like I would normally would, maybe act a bit suspicions if the character behaves very weird from how they normally do but I would still put trust in them until proven otherwise.
As HoS I aoid it also as best as I can, if I ask someone I most often just pic the closest person to me give them an order and that's it, sure in sec there are player that I know are doing a good job but I avoid giving just them the more important stuff, I often just radio and speak to all my officers at the same time and ask if someone can go check XY or help XYZ and stuff. I think this can help. Often newer player are also more shy and it takes them a bit to warm up, I think what would also help them is making it clear to them that failure is not a problem, at least this is what people did to me when I started, no one really cared if I set up the engine wrong or made a mistake, and that helped me too.

I think I also had moments were some sec of were much more careful about a person because they know they are robust from other rounds, I think Ranni can often be a good example, she is often known for being very good as an antag, and sometimes people are extra careful because its her, I try to avoid it I engage her alone or in a team and ignore the fact IC that I know she is very good, it makes for much more fun for both sides I hope.

I play more on highpop so I see new faces all the time, but I think my blindness to remember names or characters that don't have strong distinct styles also helps with it, cant metatrust them if they all seem like some random person to me.
So I think what could help people who have a problem with that is trying to blend out some things more, maybe it helps if you need medical attention run to the first medic you see, you need sec? run to the first secoff or secass you see. Don't pay to much attention on who are you talking to, pay more attention to the job they have, and hey if you get napped by an antag because they look like an engi even funnier

[Emimiyu]

Can you 100% avoid metatrust? An anecdote, a security main that has people convinced "this character IC doesn't sound like a person who would antag for me and would be very bad at it!". They rolled antagonist on one round. Secoff A, who tends to not be in inter-round relationship and not always playing the same role, report to the radio that this person is suspicious. Secoff B, who RP a more social character and pay attention on who his character know in the round, decide to answer with "huh, what do you mean suspicious? Aren't they an officer?".

This anecdote doesn't have my idea of metatrust, but I imagine it is kinda normal for your brain to do things based on the pattern you remember and forget things because it is so used to many similar scenario. On the other hand, I think some people have anxiety with meeting new people and rarely talks or interact with anyone they do not know.

Though, I have had situation where certain players would follow around an antagonist as non security to hunt them once they see a suspicious person, then apprehend them, in situation where antagonist hasn't provoked them. Or follow around security as non security (instead of joining as sec) to "help" security when nothing have had happen and there are enough security member. Security player would sometimes just said "so and so plays security often, so it is fine,", even to the point giving them their gear. It also bothers me when the situation that happen involve whitelist.

Though, going back to the anecdote, if you are so used to seeing someone in sec or helping security at certain times, your brain will just ignore it. I do wonder if the situation I brought up are still within the rules, as you can help security and provoke antagonist.

[xenomni]

I don't have a whole lot to add, there's a balancing act for sure. Like. Many of us want to rp the same characters and develop them and that means interacting with people they know as well as new people. It can be difficult to discern, its good to think of things like.... would I do xyz if this was a total stranger? Ask yourself that sort of question and if the answer is no, you should start denying your IC friends more. Things like 'as much as Id love to, you know I cant' or 'I like my job and earning money more than getting in trouble for you' etc. 

On terms of random naming and new players. I've recently started playing at random hours with characters that are not my main ones, including doing random names. I was a random name chef one off character on low pop just the other day. I really didn't find myself having any 'untrustworthy' reactions to my food or existence from others. The amount of effort I put into interacting with others was reciprocated. I think that's a bit of whats missing. Its not just on the experienced players to invite newbies in. Of course its good to be inviting and encouraging but until someone talks in LOOC it can be difficult to tell if its a new player or just someone you've never interacted with before. There's anxieties from both ends. People who struggle to interact... and people who worry about being overbearing if that makes sense? 

Basically what im saying is, throw people a line if you have the time and if they engage or don't is up to them. Make your friends give you good excuses to get equipment just like any other random person. And if you see someone giving out gear just because they're friends you should ahelp it.

[Solenoid]

Can you 100% avoid metatrust? An anecdote, a security main that has people convinced "this character IC doesn't sound like a person who would antag for me and would be very bad at it!". They rolled antagonist on one round. Secoff A, who tends to not be in inter-round relationship and not always playing the same role, report to the radio that this person is suspicious. Secoff B, who RP a more social character and pay attention on who his character know in the round, decide to answer with "huh, what do you mean suspicious? Aren't they an officer?".

This anecdote doesn't have my idea of metatrust, but I imagine it is kinda normal for your brain to do things based on the pattern you remember and forget things because it is so used to many similar scenario. On the other hand, I think some people have anxiety with meeting new people and rarely talks or interact with anyone they do not know.

Though, I have had situation where certain players would follow around an antagonist as non security to hunt them once they see a suspicious person, then apprehend them, in situation where antagonist hasn't provoked them. Or follow around security as non security (instead of joining as sec) to "help" security when nothing have had happen and there are enough security member. Security player would sometimes just said "so and so plays security often, so it is fine,", even to the point giving them their gear. It also bothers me when the situation that happen involve whitelist.

Though, going back to the anecdote, if you are so used to seeing someone in sec or helping security at certain times, your brain will just ignore it. I do wonder if the situation I brought up are still within the rules, as you can help security and provoke antagonist.

I mean, I don't think you can ever 100% avoid metatrust, just as you can't 100% avoid metacliquing or metagaming, but I also don't think it's bad to discuss the issue and see what other players are thinking on it. I would imagine that recruiting a random staffie outside of a crisis would probably fall under RP rule 1(why would you give restricted equipment to someone that has 0 official training?), but I'm not an admin and don't really have the ability to answer rules questions myself. 

And yeah, I don't think your anecdote is necessarily metatrust in my view either. I've just had experiences before where people specifically ask "Is X here? I need Y done", and when I'm playing a random name or lesser known character as the job as X would usually play/X is busy and I offer to sub in/Y is a job within my department and I offer to do that for the player, I've sometimes been met with a "I would really prefer X to do this" or "I guess you could do Y, but I'd prefer X to if possible", and that's more of my idea of metatrust. Rejecting or only allowing a player to do something as a last resort because you don't have someone you know and trust OOC around to do it.

[Kotlol]

I trust people to not try to murder me as an antag when I use antag powers for escalation but not murder.
Like a vampire clown flashing their fangs at someone then just continously fart on their faces for comedic effect. Yet... this has resulted in me being murder to near death and security coming to bail me out.

I do not mind LOOCing you are an antagonist. I do not mind LOOCing anything. As a changeling when I murder players most of the time I ask consent if it's not too obivious.. but sometimes I know they know and I murder em. I even be a good sport and give them control so they can feel it out.

In the end... I trust every player to come out with a fun round insted of playing to win.

[Violetsaber]

I see metatrust/distrust as the current biggest cultural issue on RP servers. While it's unavoidable to have friends and remembering various individuals habits and skills, it should not influence your decisions or knowledge if it did not happen in that very round. I see this crop up especially in regards to antags and security/command. Captains, HoPs and to an extend HoS' that people are unfamiliar with are mistrusted at best and ignored at worst.

I've had rounds where disguised antags where revealed by their actual name simply by players recalling a previously used agent card name and citing previous rounds as to what their next move would be. This has been done (frustratignly) succesfully and (comedically but still iritating) wrongly. Not only is it an unreliable way to determine what is happening, it is also blatant metagaming to make calls merely on what name you hear on the radio.

In the same vein, metatrust in regards to whitelisted names is absurd. For antags, it is nearly impossible to disguise themselves as a HoS without somebody almost verbatim invoking "I don't recall you getting that promotion" which is thinly disgusied code for "i didn't see you get approved on the forums". Using a fake name and an agent card to the same end is met equally with a total shutout based solely on OOC knowledge, which is then justified by miniscule things out of place. I've heard plenty of stories of HoS players random naming and being met with similar treatment while actually rolling the position.

On the flip side, if you are a known face among security, people will trust you IMMENSELY, real security or not. A few rounds ago as antag, a play to disguise as HoS to get close to the captain to assassinate them was foiled early the second i set foot onto station, the entire security department was called and i got escorted to security. Following this total brick wall of an RP response, i was left with the only choice but to go loud FAR sooner than i wanted, but it ended with me and another traitor killing all of sec almost twice over. Officers were dead and unclonable, their equipment and armory looted, a massive hole in sec and general mayhem. But by merely putting on a red uniform and being recognized by my usual character name, people not only let me be, i was even helped and approached to solve said mayhem that i caused. All while being covered head to toe in stolen, mismatched gear and the blood of my victims.

My point being, it is hard to purposefully forget and ignore things you know. But RP is pretend play where your character is not you, so they can make choices that fit the round. I'm worried that people are too focused on "winning" and doing things "right" rather than actually roleplay. I'd much rather see people make choices based on what role a person is, rather than their name and character appearance. I hope this trend can be course corrected by both ahelping when observed and self correcting. Or mayhaps we should all random name :P

[Gomp]

In the same vein, metatrust in regards to whitelisted names is absurd. For antags, it is nearly impossible to disguise themselves as a HoS without somebody almost verbatim invoking "I don't recall you getting that promotion" which is thinly disgusied code for "i didn't see you get approved on the forums". Using a fake name and an agent card to the same end is met equally with a total shutout based solely on OOC knowledge, which is then justified by miniscule things out of place. I've heard plenty of stories of HoS players random naming and being met with similar treatment while actually rolling the position.

On the flip side, if you are a known face among security, people will trust you IMMENSELY, real security or not. A few rounds ago as antag, a play to disguise as HoS to get close to the captain to assassinate them was foiled early the second i set foot onto station, the entire security department was called and i got escorted to security. Following this total brick wall of an RP response, i was left with the only choice but to go loud FAR sooner than i wanted, but it ended with me and another traitor killing all of sec almost twice over. Officers were dead and unclonable, their equipment and armory looted, a massive hole in sec and general mayhem. But by merely putting on a red uniform and being recognized by my usual character name, people not only let me be, i was even helped and approached to solve said mayhem that i caused. All while being covered head to toe in stolen, mismatched gear and the blood of my victims.

My point being, it is hard to purposefully forget and ignore things you know. But RP is pretend play where your character is not you, so they can make choices that fit the round. I'm worried that people are too focused on "winning" and doing things "right" rather than actually roleplay. I'd much rather see people make choices based on what role a person is, rather than their name and character appearance. I hope this trend can be course corrected by both ahelping when observed and self correcting. Or mayhaps we should all random name :P

This really made me think. I don't really pay much attention to the people who play certain characters and character names but I think I would recognize most of the HoS ones which play on Sylvester and honestly I think it would be very easy for one of those names to roll antag, disguise themself as HoS and go unnotized by me. There is just so much trust I place in the HoS role that, unless they do something really weird right infront of me or multiple officers report them, I wouldn't even think of them being an antagonist and even then I'd think they where mindhacked, a changeling or similar. I'll try to self correct this and, off course, HoS players are unlikely to "abuse" this, still I think the way HoS is handled as a role both in the community and by the rules invites this sort of thinking.

Besides that I don't really notice this behaviour much on Sylvester, that doesn't make me feel better about it not happening though.

[jan.antilles]

And yeah, I don't think your anecdote is necessarily metatrust in my view either. I've just had experiences before where people specifically ask "Is X here? I need Y done", and when I'm playing a random name or lesser known character as the job as X would usually play/X is busy and I offer to sub in/Y is a job within my department and I offer to do that for the player, I've sometimes been met with a "I would really prefer X to do this" or "I guess you could do Y, but I'd prefer X to if possible", and that's more of my idea of metatrust. Rejecting or only allowing a player to do something as a last resort because you don't have someone you know and trust OOC around to do it.

This is blatantly metafriending and I hope it always gets ahelped, because I 100% have a problem with it. Is it backstory related? Cool, but your backstory is the least important thing in a round. Roleplay with the person who's roleplaying with you. Is it related to the fact that this is something important to you OOC and you want someone that you trust OOC to be there? No, that's not how the game works. Play the round.

Literally the only excuse for this is if the person is an antag, and X is someone they've already mindhacked.

Edit to add: if they are an antag and just want to make sure they mindhack X for lore reasons instead of someone else: mindhack someone else.

---

I've had rounds where disguised antags where revealed by their actual name simply by players recalling a previously used agent card name and citing previous rounds as to what their next move would be. This has been done (frustratignly) succesfully and (comedically but still iritating) wrongly. Not only is it an unreliable way to determine what is happening, it is also blatant metagaming to make calls merely on what name you hear on the radio.

In the same vein, metatrust in regards to whitelisted names is absurd. For antags, it is nearly impossible to disguise themselves as a HoS without somebody almost verbatim invoking "I don't recall you getting that promotion" which is thinly disgusied code for "i didn't see you get approved on the forums". Using a fake name and an agent card to the same end is met equally with a total shutout based solely on OOC knowledge, which is then justified by miniscule things out of place. I've heard plenty of stories of HoS players random naming and being met with similar treatment while actually rolling the position.

On the flip side, if you are a known face among security, people will trust you IMMENSELY, real security or not. A few rounds ago as antag, a play to disguise as HoS to get close to the captain to assassinate them was foiled early the second i set foot onto station, the entire security department was called and i got escorted to security. Following this total brick wall of an RP response, i was left with the only choice but to go loud FAR sooner than i wanted, but it ended with me and another traitor killing all of sec almost twice over. Officers were dead and unclonable, their equipment and armory looted, a massive hole in sec and general mayhem. But by merely putting on a red uniform and being recognized by my usual character name, people not only let me be, i was even helped and approached to solve said mayhem that i caused. All while being covered head to toe in stolen, mismatched gear and the blood of my victims.

These are definitely huge issues and they grate on my soul.

Part of this - and I'm guilty of it too - is having characters ONLY work specific jobs, like security or Captain. The human habit brain will say "oh I know X, they are always a Safe Person" until things happen that force that perception to change. People want to make characters with steady and iterative stories, but the game isn't really designed to BE that. It's a round based social intrigue game where things go wrong.

As far as the "I don't remember hearing about YOU getting promoted" - ahelp this 10000%. It is blatantly OOC and blatantly shitty.

[Drakios]

I see metatrust/distrust as the current biggest cultural issue on RP servers. While it's unavoidable to have friends and remembering various individuals habits and skills, it should not influence your decisions or knowledge if it did not happen in that very round. I see this crop up especially in regards to antags and security/command. Captains, HoPs and to an extend HoS' that people are unfamiliar with are mistrusted at best and ignored at worst.

I've had rounds where disguised antags where revealed by their actual name simply by players recalling a previously used agent card name and citing previous rounds as to what their next move would be. This has been done (frustratignly) succesfully and (comedically but still iritating) wrongly. Not only is it  an unreliable way to determine what is happening, it is also blatant metagaming to make calls merely on what name you hear on the radio.

In the same vein, metatrust in regards to whitelisted names is absurd. For antags, it is nearly impossible to disguise themselves as a HoS without somebody almost verbatim invoking "I don't recall you getting that promotion" which is thinly disgusied code for "i didn't see you get approved on the forums". Using a fake name and an agent card to the same end is met equally with a total shutout based solely on OOC knowledge, which is then justified by miniscule things out of place. I've heard plenty of stories of HoS players random naming and being met with similar treatment while actually rolling the position.

On the flip side, if you are a known face among security, people will trust you IMMENSELY, real security or not. A few rounds ago as antag, a play to disguise as HoS to get close to the captain to assassinate them was foiled early the second i set foot onto station, the entire security department was called and i got escorted to security. Following this total brick wall of an RP response, i was left with the only choice but to go loud FAR sooner than i wanted, but it ended with me and another traitor killing all of sec almost twice over. Officers were dead and unclonable, their equipment and armory looted, a massive hole in sec and general mayhem. But by merely putting on a red uniform and being recognized by my usual character name, people not only let me be, i was even helped and approached to solve said mayhem that i caused. All while being covered head to toe in stolen, mismatched gear and the blood of my victims.

My point being, it is hard to purposefully forget and ignore things you know. But RP is pretend play where your character is not you, so they can make choices that fit the round. I'm worried that people are too focused on "winning" and doing things "right" rather than actually roleplay. I'd much rather see people make choices based on what role a person is, rather than their name and character appearance. I hope this trend can be course corrected by both ahelping when observed and self correcting. Or mayhaps we should all random name :P

I will be honest im often blind sometimes in sec, I had moment were one person was wearing red like clothing and wa sjust sitting in sec waiting for someone to throw them out and see if they are being noticed, I surely ran past them a couple of time until I had a calmer moment and examined some people and noticed their ID, but I also have that with charaters I usually see in sec for example, my brain is just "yeah that fits" and doesn't even make a second thought.
I try to avoid it, but when its a more hectic round in sec its hard to check if that person really works in there, its just my tunnel vision sometimes.

But yeah I'm sure in theory I could be Antag Roselin, somehow get the HoS gear and people wouldn't think for a moment that I could be an antag, I think it can be hard to turn that part of your brain off sometimes. 
But so far I didnt had problems with people not respecting me as HoS when I played unknown character and people didn't know it was me but I can imagine it happend

[Emrsnn]

I smacked this in my drafts after writing it between about 3a and 430a today and after skimming it this afternoon, I'm fairly sure you can kinda tell what points I was getting at.

Yeah, I'd trust someone that I know is a HoS or mentor to not be a shitter over someone I only met this round. That's just how familiarity works. I make a point of making sure it doesn't effect things like who I decide to execute or who gets their access bumped up- But ultimately, if I have a question about how to do something I'm going to gravitate toward asking characters played by people with the "this guy teaches people how to do things" badge, because that's who I trust to have the most accurate answer.
I know there are people who feel similarly toward me because I've made some absolutely bizarre captain calls fully expecting pushback, just for the fun of the drama, but often everyone just rolls with it- And I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. More often than not, blindly rolling with something is low-risk because it's just a game- worst case scenario is someone needs to press f1, type in a box, and then spend ten minutes as a sentient mouse in a color of their choosing. The problem is that I doubt a captain who isn't well-known could say "Well, I guess we need to slaughter the capybaras then- shit, is my radio on?" on general comms without imploding the chain of command. I think a lot of what's being talked about here is less about trusting the good sportsmanship of people we recognize over people we don't, but just the assumption that it's more likely to be present in people who've been vetted here. Frankly, some RP regulars get mean as hell when our blorbos have a bad day. Why are we allowed to fuck up and still remain part of the in-group while new people are out by default because of their potential to fuck up?
Really, we're a lot more likely to run into people who just aren't using custom emotes because they don't know how that works yet, are playing a default character because they don't know where the menus are, and are bad at their job because this game takes weeks to learn, than we're likely to run into someone who's figured out what they're doing and is doing it with malice. 
Using myself as an example, I really think the only reason I got scooped up into this community was luck, I think it's safe to say I've struggled to figure out what the hell I'm doing more than the average player. It's a running joke at this point that I still can't handle the combat system or keyboard shortcuts. On top of that, I'm irritable and excitable, far less now than I was four years ago, but I'm still working on it. Yet despite my past and present fucking up once and a while, I'm still extended the privilege of being welcomed back the next day because I've been around long enough that this community trusts me to have far more good days than bad. Would I have reached this level of trust if my bad days coincided too much just having no idea what I'm doing? Probably not. I wouldn't have trusted 2021 Emrsn with an auth disk and lethals. But if HoS is the only role that we have a whitelist for, we should be willing to trust anyone who's played xyz number of rounds to do whatever xyz number of rounds qualifies them for. 
Our admins can check if the new doctor is shit at surgery because they're a dick or if they're shit at surgery because this is their first doctor round, so what benefits everyone the most is trying to teach the new doctor surgery and if they're suspiciously shit at it, ahelp it.
Really though, I don't know why I'm taking the time to write all this out since we seem to agree treating new people worse is bad. It's time to suck it up and accept that most people who end up here do so because they want to play a game and make some friends. Feels really low-risk to roll with that assumption.

It's the nature of primates to not trust each other when we first meet, but we're playing a game on a rocks with screens that we tricked into thinking. It shouldn't be this hard to make some corrective action where we need to, and as the curator of the list of problems we love to talk about and never solve, I'm reaching the point where I think we're exhausting how long we can talk about the problem without starting to utilize the very obvious solution to it. In all honesty, I've started flat-out avoiding people in game who I know refuse to make an effort at this. If someone's disregarding people soley because they're new and clumsy and too excited to be here, they're an embarrassment to me. On top of that, I know if we'd met earlier they'd have been an asshole to me too, so why should I give them the chance to be nice to me now? (note specifically to the admin reading this- i stay tellin medass about that shit fr, pinky promise.)

TL;DR, I don't instantly become a social outcast despite regrettably being a dick once and a while, but new people become social outcasts because they have the potential to be a dick. Cannot stress this enough: video game. not a threat of national security. If you're taking the time to read a dense forum thread about why we should be nice, you're probably one of the people who're being nice so lets do that harder I guess? Leadership by example? Teamwork or whatever? Thanks for caring, I mean really mean it.

[Vulwin_Gilran]

I started playing like, a bit over a year ago now and I definitely felt it was hard to try and engage with anyone, since it felt like everyone was already in their own bubble of injokes and backstory that they were already happy with. I feel like it would be beneficial for EVERYONE to just random name occasionally, because like what others have said its something you can easily be doing and not even realizing it.

I feel its on the people who are already "trusted" or "in" to metaphorically shove the door open and like Em said, lead by example. We were all once the blank faced unknown who was stumbling around with no idea what was going on. Remembering to have empathy for others is a pretty big thing, its so so so easy to forget on the other side is just another person who just wants to have fun playing silly space game.

[444explorer]

Best thing to do is to play a few rounds as a randomname or make a one-off character, you'll get a lot of insight into how people act around unknown faces and be able to better welcome people and help fight this.

I was unaware of how present metatrust can be until I had a few incidents were people showed absurd favour to me when they really shouldn't have or when I was playing a one-off character. Most notable example was a few years back. Somebody walked over the brain of a dead borg without giving it to robotics - They weren't rogue or anything so there was no reason not to. I mentioned this was a shame post-round that people would just walk over stuff like that in plain view. Got a response from them saying 'That was you?? I would've brought it back if I knew it was!'

[Silent Majority]

I've seen on lower populations things like people clone scanning their characters partners that they know are vampires, and similar behavior. Ive been attacked as security for arresting peoples partners/kids. I've seen people repeatedly get thralled/mindhacked by their partners.

That said.

I see it less then I used to. This needs a culture to change

[Spyritdragon]

I think it's a lot better than it has been in the past already, but I do think it's worth discussing.
I think this is where taking a step back and realising we're still in control of the story and our characters is important.

RPing a story is fun - playing a consistent character with their strengths, weaknesses, wishes, vices, friends and nemeses is fun, it's what drives part of the compelling and engaging depth in RP to me. But that doesn't mean you can't weave these things into a story while still keeping in mind to fairly treat everyone on the server. I think that's our responsibility as players, both in encouraging it and putting a good example where we already do, and perhaps sometimes catching ourselves when we don't.

If a friend of my character walks in, I'll greet them with more familiarity than I would a stranger, but that doesn't mean I won't interact with that stranger. There's a whole host of RP tools, even if you're playing a grumpy asocial character, to show that you, as a player, want to interact with this other newcomer. You can emote a grunt at them and a brisk 'And who are you', or as a shy character, emote something about scooting off to the corner, nervously glancing at the newcomer.
I could keep naming examples, but my point being - as RPers we have plenty of tools to make any scenario happen in a way that very much fits our characters and showcases the lovely personal and interpersonal development we make, while still conveying that OOCly, we're all playing a game together and we'd be happy for them to join in.

I think it's a bit silly to demand of everyone to treat everyone they play the game with with the same familiarity. Of course if we see a good friend in the game when we sign up for the shift, we're going to want to go over and play with them. Of course if you see the character yours has had some very emotional, thick-and-thin moments with, you're going to want to experience the warmth of that bond. I think that's natural.
What's important is that we do this in a way that lets us enjoy and express that story, while also having places in that story to welcome everyone else who wants to start adding to that story and offering them avenues to participate, especially in a way that's mechanically fair to them - there's loads of avenues to make that make sense in RP-flavour without advantaging or disadvantaging one side over the other.

Ultimately, it's all of our responsibilities to ensure that we're a welcoming, pleasant environment, and that playing with us is fun - and to hold those around us accountable for that, too.