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longest clown app contender
Three facts: 
1. Take your age. Subtract your age. That's the number of times I've had a clown application approved.
2. You're reading this in Morgan Freeman's voice right now

Now, you might be wondering, why would a person with such a poor track record for getting cloud applications proved even try to put in a cloud applications? Well, I'll tell you: The reason is because... I like a challenge! I think I got what it takes to break into the big leagues and make some REAL money! You see, I've got an x Factor. I've got something nobody else has. And that's fact number three:

(Fill this in later)

I'm sure you're impressed. But that's not all. To prove that I got what it takes to break it into the big leagues and make some REAL money, I went ahead and made some money. Yeah, that's right. I got around the restrictions and played clown, without submitting an application. Pretty sick stuff, Right? Well, and you're not going to believe this, everybody on the server was so impressed by my clown antics, that they just gave me money! I've got a little sampling of the fame, wealth, power, prestige, that comes with this respected position, and boy howdy I want more!

So, what's the REAL REASON why I'm applying to clown college? To answer that question we have to go back in time back to the great year of 2005. I was swimming in my pool

Fame and fortune isn't just for the famous and fortunate. anybody can forge their own path and discover their full potential if they work hard, eat three meals a day, and have a perfect impression of Morgan Freeman.

You might be wondering, how did I get this great impression of Morgan Freeman, the voice you've ostensibly been reading this entire post in? Well, that brings me to my greatest strength. Communication. This gets said in head of security applications a lot, but ultimately, what separates a good head of security from a bad head of security is, communication. The entire point of a head of security is not to be just another officer, but to act as a leadership role and one of the most hectic and dangerous departments on the station. You represent to the department when it comes into conflict with the captain, the crew, or even the department itself.

Another thing that's extremely important when playing as the head of security, or, really any command role, is decisiveness. Being able to make quick decisions, even if they're not the best ones, is an excellent way to keep the round moving forward, deal with station threats in a timely manner, and keep the crew safe. Having a head of security can induce other people in the department to decision paralysis, where they no longer feel like they can make big decisions because the head of security is there. Your job includes eliminating that decision paralysis, either by encouraging the officers to make their own decisions (my personally favored solution to this problem), or by being able to make quick decisions yourself.

The radio host job is another powerful job for communication. With access to cameras, all departmental radios, a announcements console, and to the ability to play music and advertisements over the radio, the radio host is uniquely situated to communicate with the crew, and drive the round forward. See something crazy going on in botany? Comment on it! Crew can't escalate with a threat that they don't know exists. Things going slow? Invite somebody up for a interview! Not only is this a pretty cool character interaction, things about the round might come up that you would never have found out otherwise! However, one must always be mindful of how tray chemistry works.

The mutant races of dune station 13 have a wide variety of origins in Canon. Cow people, for example, have the most well-known origin, having come from the cow dimension, where nanotrasen had teleported to somehow, with the intention of finding beef because cows are extinct in the SS-13 universe. However, these cows turned out to be sentient, bipedal, and oddly human like. The artifact Labs heater pad ranges between temperatures of 200 and 400 Kelvin, and can be used to test whether a artifact has a response to heat or cold. Lizards, on the other hand, our genetically modified humans, that were designed to withstand long periods in I believe cryosleep. This is probably because of sleeperships back before they had the channel so people would just stay in ships for a bajillion years instead of using faster than light travel or wormhole travel or whatever it's called. So that's how those guys came about. Roach people, or as I like to call them, blattodians, Don't have any unified lure that I know of. The description of the trait seems to imply that slow metabolism is an incredibly good trait and is something that I would highly recommend. You really don't get poisoned all that often, and having doubled the volume efficiency on most of your healing chems is pretty strong.

This is especially true now that the number of traits you can take is unlimited, since the trait no longer takes up a slot. Well, it does, but there's an infinite number of slots instead. Replenishing your hunger and thirst motives on roleplay servers is also a breeze with slow metabolism, as chemicals like triple C and chocolate get doubled in effectiveness. This is a quick reminder that you should be reading this in Morgan Freeman's voice. Human torch is kind of crazy too, the entire trait revolves around not being able to put out fire as easily, and as such it grants plus two perk points, but this number is overtuned. In contrast to traits like short-sighted, blind, or deaf, which take up valuable equipment slots, The downside of human torch can pretty much be countered simply by carrying a fire extinguisher around with you in a much less valuable backpack slot. Some players, however, don't care that it's a power gaming trait. It does have some silly benefits outside of perk points: being able to burn infinitely means that, if a helpful geneticist decides to give you a resistance to that fire, you can light yourself up for a cool visual effect, as well as a passive light source!

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