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How would YOU survive a classic goonstation shift?
Here's a brain-teaser that could end up easier than expected:

You're tasked with surviving an entire round of SS13 on Goon Classic as a staff assistant. You're in your real-life actual body, so you wouldn't be able to do things like self-surgery or surgery without anesthetics. You'd also need to eat a full meal at least once a shift, or periodically throughout.

Finally, you're aware that the escape shuttle will be shot up though you don't know by whom and you don't know when it will arrive. The escape wing will be in-tact, but anywhere else could easily be bombed or otherwise destroyed. What do you do in order to survive from start to finish?

(assume if something isn't listed here, like thirst, that its up to interpenetration)
I would just fucking podnerd with some meals in my backpack and a fire extinguisher of course just for self defense
Enter cryo and never leave.
ok ok if i were transported to ss13 world
i would use my kung fu skills to incapacitate the captain to establish myself as new commander and gain unstoppable power
Enter cryo and never leave
By getting in the pod, exploring the space and consuming all donuts at the radio station
I'm surprised how not a lot of people are mentioning lava moon
Jazz lounge all shift, No one checks the Jazz lounge.
Get empowered thermal and a fuckton of omnizine, jump in the arc plater.

Nothing keeps the insanity away like a solid shell of uqill
Befriend borgs to be protected
Run to the pod bay and yoink a pod, run off to the diner to collect some food, then probably chill there or at the radio station for the entire round until the shuttle arrives.

That or ask to be put in the brig and just cower there in the corner all shift!
Chill in gene.
Decide to steal a pod, crash into the walls a few times before figuring out how to drive the thing, and head to the space diner. While there I proceed to have a "conversation" with shitty bill to where whenever I try to talk he immediately brings something up and goes on a ramble, then after ten minutes of that I get eaten by a changeling and survive the shift in a new form
I would use my powerfull innate ability to hide like a coward the entire shift. Locker my beloved.
Get a clone scan because that might come in handy, get myself some food and snacks from vending machine and sink to avoid poisoning.

I would then spend the rest of my time in a locker or the Sauna room without the Sauna being on. Have a crowbar for a fighting chance too. Generally I'd want to be in mid populace areas. I would actually avoid being near security in case a syndicate agent decides to get rid of them early. The medbay is an ideal target for space terrorism and the staying at the bar too long might result in fights. Obviously being in disposals could also be incredibly dangerous due to lings, vampires, and other monsters.

If it was revolutionaries however, I would simply write propaganda pamphlets for whichever team I was on instead of risk my life.

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