Complaint I dont think captain bravo is handling my ban well.

[riolusx2]

CaptainBravo permanently banned me in game for out of server actions, more specifically actions on the discord. 
I did threaten to kill myself, which is really bad and my discord ban is 100% justified, but I don't think I should be game banned for two minor reasons:
1. CaptainBravo dismissed my initial ban appeal just because I had made it one month after the ban. While yes this is a short time of recovery, it is still feasable. A lot has changed in my life since then, as I stated in my appeal. Also, nearly half a month has passed since this appeal, and while im not complaining about the response time, this makes my case more feasible. I feel like denying my appeal due to doubt is unhealthy, as I really have changed. 
2. Banning me on the game sever for discord actions which were arguably not worth the ban and turning a simple incident into a major fiasco.
If I remember correctly, I didn't threaten to kill myself before my ban, I just went on a rant. I don't remember threatening to kill myself before I got banned, nor did I make any signifigant attempt to do so in game. I even made attempts at helping myself when I got muted on the server. However, when I woke up the next morning and saw my ban, that added fuel to the fire and made me a bit unstable. I honestly think his ban is what sent me on the spiral, and I don't think I should have been banned from the game for posting what I did, and even I think that my discord posting prior to the initial game-ban wasn't permabannable.
Looking back on it now, I still feel I am at fault and will accept a full discord ban with a chance to appeal, and will even accept the game ban as break to cool my head, but I feel that this situation could have been handled better.

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Sorry for not using the usual format.

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Edit:
I just added more evidence into the angle that im a skeezy loser who has no life outside of here didn't I?
I get thats the reason for complaint number 1 as well, but I am genuinely trying to make amends for my wrongdoings.
I just want to get unbanned so I can stop feeling like an asshole.

[ZeWaka]

Hello, I'm the admin you decided to PM a suicide threat to.
Emotional manipulation, especially of that degree, is not OK whatsoever, and therefore you aren't welcome here currently. There's a line, and you pole-vaulted over it.

Wait a handful of years or so before coming back with a really good apology.

Here's some advice (from a friend of mine) to perhaps help with self-improvement until then:

your mistakes don't define you; you are more than the sum of your mistakes
step 1: own it. admit you made a mistake
step 2: fix the mistake if possible, get help from someone who can help
step 3: apologize
step 4: think about how the mistake happened
step 5: try and correct the root cause so it doesn't happen again
step 6. share the new knowledge you have so other people can avoid the same mistakes
growing up is a never ending series of mistakes
if you learn from your mistakes then at least you're always headed in the right direction

[riolusx2]

I don't know if this will be enough time to heal the wound, but I think I will try again in a year or so.
I'll try to improve myself by then.

[riolusx2]

I honestly dont know how anymore.
I guess i'll try.
I've been a shitty person, i've done shitty things but i'll get over it.
I just really want to go back on here because this place made me feel wanted, and I was a part of something great. Im sorry I did what I did but I just love this game and love the people on here.
Anyway, i'd like to clarify a couple things first, because I want to return here someday and I dont want you to get the wrong idea.
I genuinely was going to end myself that night. I called the hotline, said my goodbyes, and acted out because otherwise, I was alone in the world.
I was genuinely mad at you and wanted you to feel bad, because I felt that I needed this. I still sort of do, but I've come to accept my position.
This wasnt the first time I've thought of self harm, nor was this the first time i'd done so recently. The thought was on my mind for most of my time at college. So when I lashed out that night, it wasnt your fault. I was being shitty there because my life was shitty. This was the one place my life wasnt so shitty, and when I got banned, I had felt betrayed. I lashed out at you guys for doing your job, and I really felt terrible.
I apologize for everything.
I've been trying to improve myself and I've been told how to improve and get out there, but I just dont feel like I have the energy or time or skill to do the things I want to do. This server was the the one thing I liked that I was good at, and now I have nothing.
this isnt a suicide note, i no longer have any motivation to do that anymore, but it is a last ditch attempt to ask for forgiveness.
Please unban me. Please let me back on the discord. Please free me. I apologize if this is against the rules, but I need to come back.
This is genuine, and im sorry if it feels like it isnt.

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I honestly dont know how anymore.
I guess i'll try.
I've been a shitty person, i've done shitty things but i'll get over it.
I just really want to go back on here because this place made me feel wanted, and I was a part of something great. Im sorry I did what I did but I just love this game and love the people on here.
Anyway, i'd like to clarify a couple things first, because I want to return here someday and I dont want you to get the wrong idea.
I genuinely was going to end myself that night. I called the hotline, said my goodbyes, and acted out because otherwise, I was alone in the world.
I was genuinely mad at you and wanted you to feel bad, because I felt that I needed this. I still sort of do, but I've come to accept my position.
This wasnt the first time I've thought of self harm, nor was this the first time i'd done so recently. The thought was on my mind for most of my time at college. So when I lashed out that night, it wasnt your fault. I was being shitty there because my life was shitty. This was the one place my life wasnt so shitty, and when I got banned, I had felt betrayed. I lashed out at you guys for doing your job, and I really felt terrible.
I apologize for everything.
I've been trying to improve myself and I've been told how to improve and get out there, but I just dont feel like I have the energy or time or skill to do the things I want to do. This server was the the one thing I liked that I was good at, and now I have nothing.
this isnt a suicide note, i no longer have any motivation to do that anymore, but it is a last ditch attempt to ask for forgiveness.
Please unban me. Please let me back on the discord. Please free me. I apologize if this is against the rules, but I need to come back.
This is genuine, and im sorry if it feels like it isnt.

Please respond.