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Hey bartender, can I have a beer please?(Guy Dude)
#1
"Hey bartender, can I have a beer please? Jeez, this station really is bad quality. State of the art my ass. Hmm that reminds me of something. You ever wonder what your purpose is? well, I sometimes wonder, but then I remind myself that I have a wife and kids. Life is strange sometimes isn't it?"

"Uh huh."

"I never thought I'd work here. when I was young, I wondered what was out there. Space that is. I was fascinated by it, intrigued, flabbergasted, whatever words you can use in that context. I used to stare at the night sky for ages. Once I tried to count each star, and got bored after an 5 minutes because there were too much. when I was around 15, I started doing science, like actual chemistry and stuff. Huh, it surprises me how much my homeplanet is like Earth. Like almost the exact same, except that my homeplanet has different plants and animals, like instead of humans, we have Roachpeople. Anyways, when I was 20 I became a scientist, experimenting on different kinds of stuff like chemicals, electricity and general science things. I did that for like, I don't know, 3 years? At my homeplanet we got better and better technology, I even invented something myself, a uhh, what do you call it? A uhhh, crap I forgot. I even made a very nice friend around 25. We started doing science stuff together. You have much friends mister?"

"Uh huh."

"Well around when i was 30, there was a big big war going on on my homeplanet. It was just as bad, if not worse than some of the wars you have had on Earth. So much pointless death, over what, which side of the planet was better? I can't quite remember. Well I was taken from my home, and forced to fight in the war as a pilot. It's nasty being up there, thinking or even knowing your'e not gonna make it. You just get a feeling, an uncomfortable scary feeling, that constantly makes you think something is gonna go wrong. Like maybe your wing gets shot and you have to escape, or your engine gets shot, and you have to escape. Either way you would have to escape. I was in that war for 4 years straight. Its very scary at first, seeing all the death down there, on the ground. Seeing the flashes of guns. But you had to focus on one thing, the enemy. It feels so unreal. So scary. But for some reason, its all legal. Well not all legal, a lot of war crimes were committed. But after those 4 years it became normal, like a job. One day, when I was fighting, my computer broke down, in front of me, and when I tried to repair it, my hands were stuck in it. Like completely stuck, I couldn't move them at all. There was one button I could reach though, with my head. The Emergency Escape Chair thing. I knew that if I'd push it, I wouldn't crash my vehicle, but I'd also lose both of my arms. I did not want to die that day, so I said FUCK IT! and I pushed the button. I was ejected out of the vehicle, and I saw a lot of hemolymph leaving my body, and I couldn't see my arms, so I knew my arms were completely gone. I was lucky they found me in time and brought me to a hospital. Due to the newer technology, I got given a new set of arms, this pair was completely robotic, and worked even better than my previous ones. While waiting in the hospital, suddenly I heard loud noises and screams outside. I thought the enemy got to us. Someone ran into the room, yelling ITS OVER, THE WAR IS OVER ITS DONE! in our Roach language. That was one of the happiest days of my entire life. Have you ever fought in a war mister?"

"Uh huh."

"When I was 36, two years after the war, I met a woman, a young Mary. It was love on first sight. Me and my old friend reunited as well. He didn't fight in the war, but apperently he did collect money for our side. 5 years later, I was living with my girlfriend for some time, and me and my friend were still hanging out. On our home planet, space travel was just invented, and I knew I needed to go to space. Ever since I was a child, Iv'e been fasci... wait I told that already. Ah well you already know that part. I needed to go to space. to find other colonisations. So I did, it was quite easy, surprisingly. I don't think anything special happened for about 6 years. I was a trader at that moment, having a whole shuttle as a shop. I traded all kinds of things, clothing, scrap, weapons, medicine. Basically whatever you would need. Did that for 4 years. I went to a place too, got my outfit there. After that, some stuff with NT happened, and there was a safe way for me and my family to travel from NT space to our home planet and the surrounding area. I was pretty interested in all of the solar system, since it was completely new for me. I went to Earth, The Netherlands specifically, learned both Dutch and English there, and I was learning all kinds of things, from the internet to sports to whatever there was. I was so intrigued and fascinated. I wanted to do everything there was to do! took me about 3 years to do everything there was to do. It was like a vacation. Mary and I decided to have kids when I came back, and 49 eggs were hatched. From then on I officially was a father, and we decided to have our wedding Earth style! Oh that was the greatest day of my life, no doubt. I decided to take a job at a space company called NanoTrasen, since I was interested in taking a job somehwere with humans. I took a job at a place called... well I uhhh, i have decided I won't mention that place again. Never have I experienced such horror in my life. The things that went on there... Just no, never will I go there again, not until the time has come. After that I got a job at a place called NT Space Station 13, and I took the job. Luckily I still had my wife and children. I suddenly remembered my friend, from some time ago. We agreed to a meeting somewhere on earth. All i want to say, is that we meeted at an apple tree, on a grassy field, close to the ocean. It ended with him dead. I still love that guy. All of those years, and I find out he works for the Syndicate. I regularly think about him. Have you ever lost a friend mister?"

"Uh huh."

"In these past few years, I regularly visit him, at the apple tree. I wish things would have turned out differently. Everything after that day, has been a pain. Except the times i get to visit my family. I want to see them more, I love them and I don't know if they know that I love them. Maybe if i spend more time with them I'll be more happy. But in these past few years, the things I have witnessed, done and felt... I don't know if its real. From killing beasts, to activating ancient machines, all the way to mass killing owls. Fuck owls, honestly. Fuck em, I hope they all die, lil fuckers. Do you wish death to owls mister?"

"Uh huh."

"You haven't been listening have you..."

"Huh? you said something?"

"Goddamnit. I'm going to the radio station so everybody has to listen to my story. Oh and give me a refill!"
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