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A Meta-Friending/Clique Discussion.
Resurrecting this thread to say that there was an additional point I wanted to make that I was struggling to put to words up until I was trying to explain it to someone in my PMs earlier this week. 
Keep in mind that this is definitely a situation where I think the majority of the times I see it, it's being done unintentionally. I think it's easy to get a sort of tunnel vision for one particular conversation and unknowingly tune out everything else. Anyway, here it is:
Quote:I think there's this false idea that as long as you're not actively telling people to go away, its impossible for you to be excluding people.
But it gets so painful when I'm actively trying to say "hey, literally everyone on station: I am inviting you to this thing" and then watch it turn into another round of a few people being deeply into Character Lore™️ or some conversation dominating IC relationship or any other You Just Had To Be There To Get It type beat while everyone else just waits for them to finish so we can move on.
I used to be so proud of myself for not telling people who I play and going out of my way to not find out who other people play, but I got lonely so I stopped trying. The problem isn't really getting told to go away, (afaik it was on 2 but thats different from 4) its just feeling like a person of higher priority walked into the room so I get like.. downgraded out or something
(sorry for being kinda ranty. this has been brewing in my head for a while and I was really fighting to say it politely on the forums)
I deleted my sec character after someone said on the discord that I played her. She used to get ignored but suddenly everyone paid attention to her and seeing the difference was making me a little paranoid because it felt like people like my name but not me.

Apologies for the wording, I didn't want to risk changing anything I was saying. 
A solution I try to use is taking into account who's in the room or involved in the conversation, and explaining to make sure they know what's going on, or steering the conversation toward something more approachable like a job role, what the antags of the current round are up to, someone's passion project for the round, "hey let me teach you something new", "wow that chef we have sure is cooking some weird shit", etc. There's a lot of topics to talk about or things to do that aren't dependent on knowing character-specific lore.
I also see a lot of strength in simply saying things like "Not now, Joe Newguy wasn't finished talking", just like I (hope you) would in real life if you noticed someone was being ignored or forgotten about.

TL;DR: I think the explanation of "I wouldn't have told you to go away, you should just work harder at being included" is dismissive of the issue. I feel that talking about public things in public spaces and private things in private spaces would be a better response.
yeah i can kinda see that, i remember a few weeks ago i was in the middle of watching a trial when somebody literally sprinted in the room, grabbed the lawyer, and ran them to the chapel so they could do their own thing, killing the scene then and there. i shouldve ahelped it because that kind of thing definitely seems against the spirit of rping but i was just so dumbfounded somebody would do that kind of thing. kind of tangentially related to the above post because it made me remember that kind of ic relationship thing steering things when it should be more of an open thing.
The Rounds Story>Your Story. the round influences your story. Your story influencing the round should be a very rare case of kismet, not an expectation.
(01-21-2023, 12:15 PM)Silent Majority Wrote: The Rounds Story>Your Story. the round influences your story. Your story influencing the round should be a very rare case of kismet, not an expectation.

100% True. I gave up on my antag stories or own gimmicks when a bigger story that involves the station comes in.
I don't join all of them, but I won't interrupt that story or disrupt it.

And why would I give up being an antag? I am not.. I said STORY. It still means I can antag.
For example if another antag is doing a hostage situation, I won't do my antag thing but insted see what I can add to it.
I once bailed out a fellow antag with a mind hack after they did their thing.

Though if that antagonist attacks me, I will counterattack.
Make a killer AI when I am setting up something and ruining my plans? I will probably interfene cause that AI will try to kill me.

Remember that... involving as much players into a RP is the best thing and even if someone is being an "obivious antagonist" , it's an invitation to interact with them.

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