Apple Crumpets HoS App
Usual character name: Apple Crumpets
BYOND username: Victoriae
Discord username (if you are on our discord):
Recommended by (if applicable):
Goon servers you play: Goon1/Heisenbee

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Reason for application:
Head of Security is fun! You're the Big Boss! The Head Honcho! You got a kick-ass gun and a hat to match! Why wouldn't you want to be the Head of Security? Well, I'll tell ya why! Because the HoS has the most responsibility on the station. And he takes the most criticism. It is not for everyone, but if it is for you, it is fun. I want to be able to run security properly. You can't run security properly as a regular officer. You might have the authority but you don't have the gear. I want to have the gear to match. The most important piece of gear the HoS has is his ID card. No more pestering command to check on the AI. No more vain searches to get a new ID from the HoP. And you know what? I think I deserve a raise! And the privilege of viewing the manifest! And while we're at it, why not a talking gun?!? And a cape?? All badasses wear capes! Sounds reasonable right? So hey, say you bribe me with these things, and I'll ensure the Security Department stays in line and does your dirty work!

I've been around the station a few times, sometimes I've even been in it! Jokes aside, I have played as HoS and served under a plethora of HoSs, each with their own styles and severity. Seeing the other HoSs play not only taught me much but also affirmed to me that my own playstyle fits within what is acceptable. That you don't have to play supercop, or that you are allowed to execute people. A HoS is reassuring, helpful, and just. The person security and the station turns to when shit goes down. The person expected to keep their cool in-game and out. Emotional Robustness. Being able to justify your decisions and own up to your mistakes. Honestly? I love it. People interact with and tease you just for existing. I want to play more than just on Friday. And to be honest, I want to be approved as HoS by the community. Playing as a mentor-HoS doesn't feel as valid. I haven't earnt it, not until I have your approval. This is my appeal to you. An appeal to be granted the beret and all the rights and responsibilities it comes with.

Security experience (300 word minimum):
I picture it as Order and Chaos. Technically your job is to keep the station in Order. But really, in a meta way, you are there to ensure there is enough Chaos going on to keep the crew interested (so they don't complain antags aren't doing anything). A good HoS should maintain a balance between the two. Guy littering? Ticket him. Make it funny (or try). Old dude stole your donut? Fine him ($15 credits). So on. But it's so much more than that. Guy with a SPES killed you but security jailed him and cloned you? Job well done. Let's not revenge kill. Wolf not in the mood to kill? Let him maul his monkeys, but I'm not saving him from a torch-and-pitchfork mob. I've seen most things. Been killed by 'em too. Still not really sure how to deal with an actual flockmind (harmbaton it???). Zombies are fun. Aliens are nuts. ????: yeah dunno lol, grind? Point is, I can guide others in what to do and how to deal with antagonists.

Figuring out the right side of your baton is the easy part of learning security. The hard part is learning the goonstation security culture. Having a HoS makes it much easier for new security players to enjoy the game instead of worrying. I've led and taught numerous times. Buddying up with new security can always lead to a lot of fun. Learn through doing. There are so many mechanics (and players!) that mess with you as an officer. A HoS serves to guide newsec on differentiating between actual threats to the station and people wanted for underage drinking. A HoS must also deal with security who have not learnt the culture yet. Some people say "he's an antag just kill him" - to which you have to counter-argue. (I could tell you about the time the detective wanted to execute a prisoner because he used telepathy to sense the prisoner "had angry thoughts" lmao).

People value their antag rounds and get angry when they die, especially if they feel it is unjust. It's not fun playing a job just to piss people off. But the thing is, if you play security fairly people don't get angry. Explaining and talking to people as you arrest and punish them is critical - they aren't just planks of wood for you to sort. People will thank you for showing leniency even as you jail them. Even a murderer will compliment you if you explain why you are executing them and what evidence you have. Playing security properly requires reflection: Did I do the right thing? Did I make the experience fun for everyone? Did I ruin someone's round or gimmick? I can remember some decisions I made that I questioned for weeks afterward. But this reflection pushes you to be better, to be better for yourself and for others, so that the game is ultimately more enjoyable for everyone.

[And to be honest, this app is the reason I stopped random naming. The culmination. And I'm glad I did.]
[Also I meant to apply 7 months ago lol]

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Answer two or more of the following:
What advice would you give to other sec players?
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Communication and co-ordination is key to a well-functioning Security team. Without communication you are weak individuals who get taken out one by one. With communication you are the most dangerous force on the station. Basically, just talk! Say hello at round start or when you join! Those who talk get noticed, and it gets noticed when they are gone - they tend to be the ones who get cloned first too.
[A simple "hello team" and "seen any crime?" works to get the team talking and communicating.]

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Use PDA messaging! People tend to steal headsets but not PDAs. PDAs are far more secure than headsets, your speech doesn't affect what you type, and people can't eavesdrop (not as easily). Assuming you can trust the detective and the AI, then the security mailgroup starts very secure.

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Comms compromised? Round up a posse! Some of the most fun I've had is convincing people to join my rag-tag justice group. Sometimes the detective is a traitor and you need backup to catch him. Othertimes the captain is an vampire and needs an old fashioned toolboxing. Asking people to group up is fun and engages others.
[Warning: may result in your death]

[I hit the picture limit, pretend there is a vuvuzela here]
Never trust authority, don't even trust yourself (lmao). Having a backbone is important and necessary at times. Captain is just a green staffie, other Officers can be mindslaved, you don't have perfect judgement, neither does the HoS. If you think someone is making a mistake, say so! Ask for their reasoning, they may be missing information, or perhaps you are.

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Have fun! Security is fun when the team is fun! Someone you don't like on the team? You are always entitled to take a break. Remember: having fun is winning. Got criticized? Don't take it to heart - even the best security players get criticized during the round and after. The "end goal" of security might be to catch antagonists, but really security is about working together and having fun - the journey. Nothing better than being knocked unconscious and having your team jump in and save your butt.

[The donuts here have been removed by a hungry staffie]
It is better to let antagonists act first then react. Reactive not proactive gameplay. Rule of thumb: talk first, shoot second. Proactive gameplay is stifling and ruins the balance of a round - harms the duality by not letting Chaos gain a footing. Example: Let an arcfiend zap you, then you can jail it. Let the chef keep his SPES-12 and commit crimes against monkeys, until he starts shooting at humans.

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As Security you genuinely are like Judge Dredd - you are judge, jury, and officer all in one. And sometimes executioner. You are the law! Do your best. Try make the Law not-shit and as fun as possible. Learn from your mistakes. You will make mistakes. Security is not a job you can understand from reading the goonwiki, it must be learnt first-hand. Remember to be just and fair, and to treat others as you want to be treated. 

What was one of your favorite security moments? (Either playing as a sec officer or interacting with one)
One of my favourite security stories was when a fellow Officer arrested the Captain and started being harassed by a crowd. He passed the Captain to me and I checked his records... he was wanted for cutting his own hair and decapitation ("It's true, I cut my own hair!"). To which I remove his hat and show the crowd the shame he had been hiding. As I go to release him we all get suicide macro-bombed.

The important thing to me was that the Captain could have been angry, could have justifiably complained his round was ruined by poor security. But you know what? He didn't, instead he and I raced go-karts in afterlife VR (turns out the Captain has some racing skills). Being accepting, being understanding, maintaining a positive attitude - the traits he showed turned what could have been one of my worst security moments into one of my favourites.

Another story comes from when I was a janitor with the polymorph gene. I took an Officer's identity and tried to weasel my way into Security. Officer Harry took me to the Head of Personnel to get a new ID, despite seeing straight through me (what do you mean he didn't believe the clown ate my ID?!). The HoP made me recall the Nanotrasen pledge of allegiance (which I made up on the spot) ('I promise to serve Nanotrasen's corporate interests even if I die') and signed me into Security. My plan worked brilliantly... until I talked on the radio!

Puke Ops invaded Hydroponics, too disgusting to detail.
Sec ass sold me (an officer) drugs in return for a gun (it was an implant gun lol)
Bird Council (ask the clown)

What game improvements or changes do you think would benefit security players?
Weapon Tracker Changes
Current design is confusing - do you keep it on you? Put on table? Leave on floor? (Leaving it on the vendor is the most popular option)
It should spawn on the belt. Probably should also be named like how data disks are. Having it on belt encourages keeping it on you, which seems like the proper way to use it. (Better than leaving on the floor at least)

Brig Chutes Changes
Brig chutes (the red bins) are underused and pointless most of the time.
Gameplay changes
Make it so flushing person in brig chute changes sec status to incarcerated. (So incarcerated status actually gets used. And you can see when someone is actually supposed to be in the brig)
Make it so when someone enters floor flusher, security status changes to released. (Too many people go through the flusher and don't get taken off arrest)
'Automates' the status system that already exists. Encourages use of statuses that are underused. Reduces hassle.

Changeling Blood Changes
Make it easier to tell strength of changeling. 
Makes it easier to be lenient on a low-power changeling rather than being forced to space/kill immediately.
Because I feel guilty killing victimless changelings.
Change bloodboil text to indicate ling strength, e.g. it only boils a little if it has absorbed 1-2 victims; boils lots if 10+ victims (or base on DNA points)
And/or have higher boiling point for ling blood test that reduces based on number of victims (e.g. 424K for 0 victims, 324K for 10+) (-10 Kelvin per person) (Details can be adjusted, just putting the concept out there)

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Answer one or more of the following fun questions (because it's important for the HoS to be fun):
Write a poem to convey your thoughts on security/NanoTrasen/space/bees/anything related to SS13.
Apple Z. Crumpets,
Lover of trumpets.
Aren't you all glad?
You don't have to read another haiku that's bad!

What's a security gimmick that you've ran or wanted to run?
I hereby promise to increase the number of criminals dabbed on! I promise to be the raddest and sickest HoS in history and to only do the most radical dabbing. Crime must pay!

Spawning legless and using a wheelchair is surprisingly fun - people with either go out of their way to help you, or they will space your wheelchair! [Shakes fist at certain clown]. Once stopped an attempted C-saber rampager and a wrestler captain from the comfort of my wheelchair. Think that was the same round an admin spawned in just to steal my wheels! It also inspired some madman to go around on a chair the whole match.

One gimmick I've wanted to run is to turn the entire team into the same person using stable mutagen. Imagine being questioned by an Officer, just for the "same" Officer to come back and ask again. Or you see the "same" guy run in the same direction three times. Or the team gives some poor guy a beatdown. Would be very confusing, but very funny.

Synching sec colours is fun. Why red or blue all the time? Try yellow, or purple! I remember a match where we all ran white outfits - I don't remember anything but the fact we looked dang good!

Draw a picture!
Check out my upcoming feature film!
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Previous bans (while this will not affect your application lying about it will):
Nothing, except...
I have been ticketed a few times (not bad!) and fined zero times. (0!)

That's all, thanks for reading! I hope this has been funny and/or useful to you.
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Apple Crumpets

[This is too long oh god I'm sorry]
i dont even need to read this masterpiece
best app ever.

absolutely yes +1
Seen Apple as HoS a couple times on Fridays and as a normal secoff on other days. They are very helpful and are fast to respond to calls for help, even when they come over the general radio, very fair in handing out brig times and are active over radio. A great secoff and an amazing film poster. 1 from me.
put my god damn name in the rec you moo man bastard why the hell are you even waiting for Friday wtf just get the damn beret already you already earned it everytime its Friday we all see excellence in conduct and ethics.

not to mention this fucking piece of art app W I D E COW ITS A MASTERPEICE

im dealing with the emotional stress of having died to a ling as captain due to incompetent security not helping. IF only we had Apple in this game as HOS. we could have destroyed the obvert ling who killed me instead of doing absolutely nothing and everyone dying to them. this is so sad. besides that, Apple is a very nice person and ive seen them be Hos. Very good work. very good at dealing with evil antags and non evil antags and in-between evil antags and antags who are evil but bad at it so it looks like they are not evil antags. Tbh so good that I already thought they could be Hos so. 

You are Cow i love cow, i love Cow RP. it Seems perfect. Please become HOS smile

+1 smile

I've never seen them but the sheer effort of this post compels me to give it a +1
Absolutely yes. I barely get to see Apple online, likely because of differing schedules, but every experience I have had with them has been solid. Competent officer, good cow, great person.

Played with Apple Crumpet from time to time.

Very nice person, peaceable.
The application is impressive.
I can attest to their good behavior as a whole.
Haven't seen any troubling behavior from them.

Unfortunately I haven't seen them play sec much.
Perhaps this is because of the random-naming.
I don't think I've ever said a word to you.
Have we interacted, ever?

>You might have the authority but you don't have the gear.
I will add, if you simply display qualities of leadership, the team will follow.
Officers who display the capacity to act as HoS, are the ones who impress me most.
Your authority, is only your ability to enforce your authority.

All said I can't support this, as I haven't seen enough to warrant a yes.
+1, haven't seen Apple for a few months except for somewhat recently, but always remember good things from them
Bloody hell.
This is a golden application.

Haven't had the pleasure to meet Apple yet but according to this, well just say, can't wait.

Part from the fancy formatting:
*Understands Sec.
*Courage for HoS
*Street Judge got me too deep as goon2 player.

Can we unironically have this as an example application linked in the HoS app rules?

+1 very epic
+1 from me.... NO +1BILLION !!!! Yu deserve it cute cow nerd, after all you are part of those people I litteraly cannot remember being annoyed at or having done anything remotely bad ! Ontop of that It's been awhile since I've seen you play sec so you got more than enough experience to be a gud hos c:.
Finally good lord this is litteraly the best looking app I've seen ever since I started scrounging the application thread, anyone can tell that this took a long time to write/make, which is gud ! Really show's the efforts that have been put there !

Anyways +1 once more !
Is it too late to say +1? Apple Crumpets is a good and just sec, give him the big stick.

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