Mentor Application - AnguishedEnglish (Whitney Stingray/M.A.I.D.)
#1
Usual character name: Whitney Stingray
BYOND username: AnguishedEnglish
Discord username (if you are on our discord): AnguishedEnglish
Recommended by (if applicable): A few friends who believe in me (You know who you are!)
Goon servers you play: Goon 3 Morty and Goon 4 Sylvester

Reason for application + game experience (300 word minimum): Ever since I joined the Goonstation branch of Space Station 13 two years ago (At the time of this application being written), I’ve taken great pride in every little thing I do, no matter what job it was I was assigned to.  I’ve always enjoyed helping others when asked and I’d sometimes go out of my way to offer help when needed.  Like most people, I started as a Janitor, slowly learning the controls and how to clean messes and respond to the radio in a calm and orderly manner.  I then worked up to Medical Doctor, learning about all the different medicines and chemicals and how they react when applied in different ways.  I even tried my hands at many other jobs, like Security Officer and Detective, learning how to keep a level head under pressure and how to communicate with others without sounding too demanding and commanding.  Even when I’ve played Command roles, like Medical Director, Captain and even the Artificial Intelligence, I would do everything in my power to keep control of a situation and help when needed.  I have a ton of experience with this game, and I am very eager to share my knowledge with anyone who is willing to ask.  My entry into mentorship has been colored somewhat by earlier events, but over the years this game and its community have been slowly molding me into a better person.  Some people may think of me differently and I wouldn’t hold it against them, but I mean what I say when I say that I am very approachable and very patient when assisting others.  I find it a great privilege to be a part of this wonderful community and to know so many amazing people who helped me along the way.  Now I want to share my knowledge with new players, the same way many others have in the past.  I honestly hope that by becoming a mentor, I not only help others, but that I also help myself become a better person and a better community member.  I’m not a perfect person, nobody is by any means, but opportunities like this are, in my opinion, way we can improve ourselves, both mentally and emotionally, maybe even physically as well.  At the end of the day, helping others is its own reward and no matter the obstacles we may face, there is always someone out there who is willing to offer a helping hand.

 
I guess that’s all I have to say, thank you so much for taking the time to read my application!



Previous bans (while this will not affect your application lying about it will): 
First was a temporary ban for spraying an officer with a bottle full of phlog, I believe it was.
Second ban was an antag ban for killing myself after getting mindslaved.
Third ban was a permeate ban for ERP related activities.
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#2
not beyond thinking you have the capacity to change or anything like that, and I dont know for obvs reasons about the behind the scenes acknowledgements for behavior things; so I'm optimistic that like...you can be a good player.

that said, this is a pretty strong -1 from me at this point in time.

My experiences with you in game have been that you allow your meta friendships to color your interactions with non familiar players beyond the realm of IC playing a sort of mean-girl personality to the point you have actually charged me with being ableist over general communications for 60 other players to see because I asked someone you were friends with to please send me a message with more details on a situation and they chose to represent this to you as me saying they talked funny. I was called a piece of trash by you to other officers on my team, you said my outfit looked like trash, made a scene and a point to throw things at me in front of other players I was talking to, interjected in conversations i was having to clarify with someone else on gen radio to call me a shithead and say you didnt respect me and assume a stance I had towards people on the basis of their mental health and speech quality. and then told me to consider what it might be like if I myself were to have any sort of language processing or construction impediment.
You arent my best friend and so I dont expect people to really know it or anything and it's not anyone's obligation to, but you did say all of this and charge me with being ableist when I was on my deaf character with expressive aphasia as someone who has hearing loss and receptive aphasia from neurological damage IRL. you dont need that depth. No one does, really; at the end of the day, I dont need people to know my or my character's exact medical history to know becoming involved to the point of harassing someone in front of 60 or 70 people for the better part of 30 minutes in an RP round based solely on the word of your metafriend alone is **not okay**. like to imagine that behavior from someone trusted to specifically not use meta knowledge and to be welcoming to unfamiliar faces is really scary to me. This was April 27th.
there are other odds and ends of stuff here, you yelling at me and trying to grapple me when I was hos for stunning your friends in the OR after they started fighting me because I had the gall to ask for my lawbringer back multiple times from one doctor who I saw had it and lied to my face about it after getting my organs blasted out by a nukie and dropping it in the hall (no one involved there was an antag); but the round from two weeks ago is really my sticking point. that was absurd and devastating. No one deserves that, especially not from someone they WANT to be able to trust.
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#3
(05-07-2022, 10:21 PM)nefarious6th Wrote: not beyond thinking you have the capacity to change or anything like that, and I dont know for obvs reasons about the behind the scenes acknowledgements for behavior things; so I'm optimistic that like...you can be a good player.

that said, this is a pretty strong -1 from me at this point in time.

My experiences with you in game have been that you allow your meta friendships to color your interactions with non familiar players beyond the realm of IC playing a sort of mean-girl personality to the point you have actually charged me with being ableist over general communications for 60 other players to see because I asked someone you were friends with to please send me a message with more details on a situation and they chose to represent this to you as me saying they talked funny. I was called a piece of trash by you to other officers on my team, you said my outfit looked like trash, made a scene and a point to throw things at me in front of other players I was talking to, interjected in conversations i was having to clarify with someone else on gen radio to call me a shithead and say you didnt respect me and assume a stance I had towards people on the basis of their mental health and speech quality. and then told me to consider what it might be like if I myself were to have any sort of language processing or construction impediment.
You arent my best friend and so I dont expect people to really know it or anything and it's not anyone's obligation to, but you did say all of this and charge me with being ableist when I was on my deaf character with expressive aphasia as someone who has hearing loss and receptive aphasia from neurological damage IRL. you dont need that depth. No one does, really; at the end of the day, I dont need people to know my or my character's exact medical history to know becoming involved to the point of harassing someone in front of 60 or 70 people for the better part of 30 minutes in an RP round based solely on the word of your metafriend alone is **not okay**. like to imagine that behavior from someone trusted to specifically not use meta knowledge and to be welcoming to unfamiliar faces is really scary to me. This was April 27th.
there are other odds and ends of stuff here, you yelling at me and trying to grapple me when I was hos for stunning your friends in the OR after they started fighting me because I had the gall to ask for my lawbringer back multiple times from one doctor who I saw had it and lied to my face about it after getting my organs blasted out by a nukie and dropping it in the hall (no one involved there was an antag); but the round from two weeks ago is really my sticking point. that was absurd and devastating. No one deserves that, especially not from someone they WANT to be able to trust.

Yes, those experiences could have been handled better and I apologize for them, but how I handle things IC does NOT reflect how I handle things OOC.  This is still a roleplay server and my character would do anything to stick up for others.  Granted, there are times I step out of line to help others the way I see fit; you make it sound like my "meta friends" cloud my judgement.  Looking back at what you typed, perhaps you are correct.  I can not amend for the wrongdoings I have done but I can only hope to move forward and learn from these mistakes.  You are right in saying that nobody deserves this and if I am to become more trustworthy I need to clean up my act.

However, I did not know anything about your character at the time, how they were deaf with expressive aphasia and how that effects them.  But them saying how they talked funny not only hurt them, but it hurt me.  IC bullying is still bullying and I do not tolerate it in the slightest as I was a victim of major bullying IRL.  This is probably not in my lane to say, but I stand by what I said; nobody deserves to be spoken to like that.  Same with how I referred to them as a "shithead" and was chewing them off over general comms.  Again, I want to personally apologize if that has caused you any harm and it could have been handle better.  I'm not expecting forgiveness from anyone, but I hope my words are enough to at least patch the wounds.
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#4
I absolutely have to give a +1 here. I know AnguishedEnglish to be a great person who always sticks up for their friends and is knowledgeable on Goon and active often. They tend to hang out on the roleplay servers and know how to stay in character, but differentiate well between OOC and IC. Anguished helps out plenty of new faces and learns how to be kind to those struggling to learn. In fact, one of the few reasons I even stayed around for as long as I have on Goon when I first came was all thanks to Anguished. They showed me the ropes of a lot of stuff and spent the time to help me learn how to get through a lot of the features and learn much. I still remember the first time experiencing bartender was entirely with the guidance of Whitney Stingray. Showing that acceptance and kindness goes a long way in having a reliable friend to always help, and I feel that as a mentor, being able to help plenty of those who are starting out and who could use guidance would be wonderful, on top of potentially a friend, should they get to know Anguished more. When not struggling with issues, Anguished is extremely kind, and with the opportunity to help others, would be a great mentor. I know that going forwards, this position would only prove to help them grow as both a person, a player, and as a part of Goon.

I fully support AnguishedEnglish (Whitney Stingray) in this application. I'm rooting for you to have the option to teach others the way you have me, and to keep new players around for hundreds of hours longer than they would alone.
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#5
as a sort of preface, this isnt a + or - on this app, just kind of an observation and consideration. i also want to note that i was planning on how to say this before nef’s response, so this wasnt a basis on that (though it kind of reinforced why i wanted to reply)

i honestly havent seen you reach out to anyone you arent friends with all that often, both on classic and rp. you tend to hover around particular people, which isnt really a bad thing, but i think it is important for mentors to be willing to interact with new people consistently and have a welcoming attitude. now, we dont play at the same times all that often, but i have seen you a good bit.

the capacity to share knowledge isnt all that makes up mentorship, and i think you definitely have that aspect covered. id really just like to see you putting more of a foot forward to teach others who arent your friends, or just give new people the opportunity to rp with you. as alamo describes, you have great capability to guide someone, itd just be good to see it more consistently
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#6
(05-08-2022, 08:21 AM)Retrino Wrote: as a sort of preface, this isnt a + or - on this app, just kind of an observation and consideration. i also want to note that i was planning on how to say this before nef’s response, so this wasnt a basis on that (though it kind of reinforced why i wanted to reply)

i honestly havent seen you reach out to anyone you arent friends with all that often, both on classic and rp. you tend to hover around particular people, which isnt really a bad thing, but i think it is important for mentors to be willing to interact with new people consistently and have a welcoming attitude. now, we dont play at the same times all that often, but i have seen you a good bit.

the capacity to share knowledge isnt all that makes up mentorship, and i think you definitely have that aspect covered. id really just like to see you putting more of a foot forward to teach others who arent your friends, or just give new people the opportunity to rp with you. as alamo describes, you have great capability to guide someone, itd just be good to see it more consistently

Okay, I'll put my hands up, you got me there, I do tend to hover around particular people, but that's just how friends are in the work place.  They tend to feel more comfortable around familiar faces to help them get through the day.  As of typing this, the past few rounds I have been making an attempt to roleplay and interact with many different people.  It's slow and hard, but the effort is there; when playing as Medical Doctor I go out of my way to ask what is wrong and to provide any guidance when needed.  Even though you and I don't play as often as we used to, the amount of effort I put into little interactions as I have mentioned before are slowly becoming the norm for me.  I am a very shy person IRL but I honestly believe that interacting like this is slowly shaping me into a more outgoing person which in turn makes me a better person.
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#7
(05-08-2022, 07:12 AM)AnguishedEnglish Wrote:
(05-07-2022, 10:21 PM)nefarious6th Wrote: Said some things

But them saying how they talked funny not only hurt them, but it hurt me.  IC bullying is still bullying and I do not tolerate it in the slightest as I was a victim of major bullying IRL.

To be clear, this is what my contact was before spending 60 minutes harrassed by three people.


To XXXXX: Clarify your statement about [Character].


From XXXXX: I don't know what fetid thing crawled up your ass but coming into someone elses convrsation to make fun of how I talk is a bit rude.

From XXXXX: I never comment on your outstanding ignorance or unparalleled ugly face or fetid odor because most people live in society. Don't ever lose a limb. Or I'll sew your ass on your face to improve your looks scum.

To XXXXX: You declared you wanted Security assistance over radio. Your statement about [Character] eating people was understood, but there is not enough information there. What other evidence do you have, describe the manner of eating.


You took me to task all round and have called me ableist and a bully over asking for this. This is the context of what I sent and was called trash, a shithead, talked about to other players, had things thrown at me, got told my brain would be turned into "abstract art", had my clear requests to stop contacting me, and called a terrible officer for. More information and making it highly apparent I was not making fun of the way someone was talking and that I was asking for more information.

Done log diving for any of this though. Not worth it and the people that need to know can verify.
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#8
Apologies as I am good at quoting

“I’ve taken great pride in every little thing I do, no matter what job it was I was assigned to.“

“ I would do everything in my power to keep control of a situation and help when needed.”

I believe these two statements of yours are very evident in your Roleplay, and perhaps comes off to the negative effect of not allowing others control of situations for their RP, which can come off as standoffish, but can also at times come off as aggressive and overly controlling.

I do agree with Retrino as I have also noticed similar issues of not talking no random names/newer players/quickly breaking off conversations to move to someone who is a more common player/close friend

I believe all of these factors combined, lead to a less approachable feeling to both of your characters (on RP, I haven’t seen you on main). I also can’t say I haven’t seen you teaching a new player in game, or in the discord. Which while not something I am always particularly looking for and I don’t doubt it has happened, it is something noticeable that would make me feel more comfortable in giving a solid feedback.

With all this said, this is a +/- 0 as due to my lack of interpersonal experience with your character (being mostly on the radio/being in the same department/walking by you/being around you and having not interacted in a long time except a few passing words) I do not feel as if my feedback will be as accurate as those who have spent a large amount in your direct presence/have direct experiences
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#9
-1

Many times when I was a player you seemingly went out of your way to exclude me and/or straight up ruin gimmicks that I was running. Not once during these many occasions did I do anything to warrant this or get an explanation for why this was happening either IC or OOC. This would have been over the course of 2021; however I have not seen anything to suggest that this kind of behaviour has changed, and have in fact seen you treating many other players like this very, very recently while observing. This is just personal experience, but, I don't particularly want to see players being treated like that from a mentor and community representative.

I am not confident that you would meet our mentor guidelines at this time, knowing this and can't support you for mentor.
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#10
(05-08-2022, 09:58 AM)walpvrgis Wrote: -1

Many times when I was a player you seemingly went out of your way to exclude me and/or straight up ruin gimmicks that I was running. Not once during these many occasions did I do anything to warrant this or get an explanation for why this was happening either IC or OOC. This would have been over the course of 2021; however I have not seen anything to suggest that this kind of behaviour has changed, and have in fact seen you treating many other players like this very, very recently while observing. This is just personal experience, but, I don't particularly want to see players being treated like that from a mentor and community representative.

I am not confident that you would meet our mentor guidelines at this time, knowing this and can't support you for mentor.

Okay, I have to say something here.  Walpvrgis, I love you and I think you are an amazing player/admin, but I can not for the life of me remember ANY instance where I was excluding you or ruining any gimmick you were running.  If anything, whenever you were playing as a normal player, you were more often than not spending time with other players and I did not want to interfere with anything you were planning with them.  As for running gimmicks, I honestly have no idea what you mean by that.  You have some fun gimmicks and I enjoy them for what they are.
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#11
unrelated to any ingame conduct, the fact that you are arguing back against the feedback that other members of the community are giving here is a bit of a warning sign to me. I personally think a really important part of being a mentor is accepting the fact that you're never going to know everything, and being receptive to people who bring up things that you may have never encountered or been aware of before. pushing back against feedback on your conduct in a thread where other members of the community are supposed to do just that doesn't really lend itself to a constructive or open environment, and while I doubt that many mentor situations will have the raw... interpersonality, I guess?? that app threads have, it's concerning that you feel the need to contest feedback being given in (what is presumably) in good faith

mentors are expected to not only represent the community well, but also to be able to listen to and understand a variety of people's points of view, especially those of new players. I don't doubt that this is something you're ABLE to do, sure, but I'm worried that you may disregard the responsibility of mentoring in favor of, I dunno, some sorta pushback because something small rubs you the wrong way
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#12
(05-08-2022, 12:42 PM)Waffleloffle Wrote: unrelated to any ingame conduct, the fact that you are arguing back against the feedback that other members of the community are giving here is a bit of a warning sign to me. I personally think a really important part of being a mentor is accepting the fact that you're never going to know everything, and being receptive to people who bring up things that you may have never encountered or been aware of before. pushing back against feedback on your conduct in a thread where other members of the community are supposed to do just that doesn't really lend itself to a constructive or open environment, and while I doubt that many mentor situations will have the raw... interpersonality, I guess?? that app threads have, it's concerning that you feel the need to contest feedback being given in (what is presumably) in good faith

mentors are expected to not only represent the community well, but also to be able to listen to and understand a variety of people's points of view, especially those of new players. I don't doubt that this is something you're ABLE to do, sure, but I'm worried that you may disregard the responsibility of mentoring in favor of, I dunno, some sorta pushback because something small rubs you the wrong way

Yes, I do tend to take things a bit personally and it's something I've been trying to work on fixing.  It's hard, but I'm trying.  I wouldn't say I'm arguing against the feedback or even pushing it back.  I can't change your mind on that or anyone else's opinions of me and my play style, but my intentions are not hostile in any way, shape or form.  At the end of the day, we're all human and none of us are perfect.  When I submitted this mentor application, I thought that if it was accepted, it would help mold me into a better person.  All the comments made about me clearly shows that I have so much more to learn and change about myself.  My point is, I welcome any and all criticism about myself and I will follow through with any problem areas.
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#13
+1 When i used to play goon regularly they were lots of fun to be around. Taught me some fun stuff.
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#14
We really appreciate the time and effort you put into this application, but have decided to deny it due to negative community feedback and concerns about attitude and behavior. You're welcome to reapply in 60 days, which would be August 26. In the meantime, I'd encourage you to keep being a friendly and welcoming member of the community!
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