HoS Application | MikeTheWallDweller / Mike Kowalski

[MikeTheWallDweller]

Usual character name: Mike Kowalski
BYOND username: MikeTheWallDweller
Discord username (if you are on our discord): Mike (Groovy ツ#0706)
Recommended by (if applicable): None
Goon servers you play: Goon 2, rarely Goon 3

Reason for application: I enjoy playing as security, and I believe I can help people at not being ShitSec™. I am mostly chill with people, and I try to not ruin the experience. Also yeah, the pet turtle seems cute, especially as you can rig him.

Security experience (300 word minimum): Although I favor playing other jobs, especially the ones where you get freedom, such as chef, bartender, botanist, and geneticist, I have found security to be a nice change! You feel like the entirety of the station is falling apart, and the only one who can save it is the clo- I mean, you. And although most of the time I had to cooperate with other officers, most of the time it was a pleasant experience. I am not sure, why every time I play as a security officer, I get nice and mature colleagues, but when I don't, I get my head flushed in a brig toilet by a blood-thirsty detective for having contraband. I can safely say, that I have experienced some messed up things, like port-a-puke cults, unstunnable wrestlers, bird wrestlers, actual wrestlers, macho man... Wow, many wrestlers. Anyways, I believe my experience will be useful in guiding newbies into their deaths... Proudly. Then laugh at their demise while drinking Bo Jack. Then dying out of liver failure. This happened to me, but not as a sec, but as a Mime. Talking about Mimes, they are the best. As a Mime, I have learned how to communicate well, and how to save the station as the quiet savior. I had to improvise many times, from running into nuclear operatives with an incomplete sarin grenade and a lighter, to straight-up killing every Nukie using a single box of frag grenades. What I am trying to say, is I have some experience, which perhaps isn't very impressive, or useful, but still. Also, I know how to make good battle drugs. Of course, they usually have side effects, but they work! But, hey, donuts are good as well. In conclusion: I am very good and robust, and I should be a good man security guy.

Answer two or more of the following:


·      What advice would you give to other sec players?
Try to restrain yourself from murdering antagonists just for being fucking antagonists, if they didn’t do anything big (like killing someone and destroying their body, or selling TTV’s to staff assistants). Stripping them from any contraband and brigging them should be enough.
Also, remember to use your surroundings in a fight. Especially chairs and glass tables. Stay robust.


·      What was one of your favorite security moments? (Either playing as a sec officer or interacting with one)
I and a couple of people I met on the server decided to become security officers, and we all wore stylish, pink jumpsuits. Then we committed minor trolling, like a public trial and group shoving and farting on people.


·      What game improvements or changes do you think would benefit security players?
Legalize Advanced Interrogation Techniques and add chair flipping to segways.


·      Describe any differences in your playstyle when part of a full security team and when being the only security officer.
When I'm im a full security team, I try to read the chat as much as I can and communicate with my fellow security ‘officers when I find anything suspicious. When I am alone, I usually just wobble around and beg roboticists to make more securitrons.


Answer one or more of the following fun questions (because it's important for the HoS to be fun):


·      Write a poem to convey your thoughts on security/NanoTrasen/space/bees/anything related to SS13.
Made strychnine ice cream;
Started yoga classes in bar;
Medbay hates me now;
~Mike (yes, I tried to make a haiku)
·      What's a security gimmick that you've ran or wanted to run?
Torture people until they admit to crimes they didn’t commit. Of course.


·      Draw a picture!
<( *v* )>
    ^  ^ space owl!
Previous bans (while this will not affect your application lying about it will):
1.    Got banned for calling myself a bad word as AI, because I forgot the meaning of the aforementioned word.
2.    Pretty sure I got banned two times, but I forgot why I got banned the second time. Apologies!

[Cal]

This happened to me, but not as a sec, but as a Mime. Talking about Mimes, they are the best. As a Mime, I have learned how to communicate well, and how to save the station as the quiet savior. I had to improvise many times, from running into nuclear operatives with an incomplete sarin grenade and a lighter, to straight-up killing every Nukie using a single box of frag grenades. What I am trying to say, is I have some experience, which perhaps isn't very impressive, or useful, but still. Also, I know how to make good battle drugs. Of course, they usually have side effects, but they work! But, hey, donuts are good as well. In conclusion: I am very good and robust, and I should be a good man security guy.

Your Security experience lists almost nothing Security-wise. In fact, you go more into your experiences playing mime than security, and then run-on to fill the word count.

  What's a security gimmick that you've ran or wanted to run?
Torture people until they admit to crimes they didn’t commit. Of course.

Hard fucking no.

[Mrprogamer96]

Not going to sugarcoat this, there is almost nothing here that gives me the impression that you would be a good fit for the HOS role.

on top of what Cal already said, there is no talk about how you commutate as a security officer, you seem to give lip service to the idea of treating antags with respect but its being contradicted by other things you say in this app.

Being a good HOS is not just about being robust, its about setting a good example for the rest of your team.

[MikeTheWallDweller]

Alright, I will go play security a little bit more, and in probably week or two I'll try to write a better application. Thanks for replying!

[Flourish]

We appreciate the time and effort you put into this application, but have decided to deny it due to negative community feedback. You're welcome to reapply in 60 days, which would be July 7. In the meantime, I'd encourage you to keep sec officering!