Goonhub
07-03-2021, 05:39 AM
I've been debating with the idea of posting on this App for some time now. Writing this is already giving me a lot of anxiety and I'm scared of saying the wrong things, and/or not making my points clear enough so they get misinterpreted. But I think its for the best I do leave something here.
This is going to be a -1 from me.
I want to preface this by saying that I do stand mostly fully behind what I said on your Mentor App. I do think you are a very insightful person with a big presence overall. Your contributions to this game through the Wiki, through PRs on GitHub, and your willingness to be attentive to most threads on the forum are all really great and that is why I recommended you for Mentor. That's all well and good, but we're talking about Security here, and this is where the problems set in...
I'm just going to say it straight out and I'm sorry if this seems insensitive because that is not my intent, but I simply enjoy my time less as Security when I am on a team with you because it feels like I am constantly walking on eggshells. I am echoing what Jan said more or less while adding my own thoughts and experiences, but while you are insightful, you are very critical of others and can take things very personally, and you make this criticism known either through constructive means on Forum posts, which is fine, but more commonly through LOOC ingame, or passive aggressively on Discord after a round has ended. Both of those, I personally, have been on the receiving ends of. When I screw up, I want to know about it so I can improve, and I told you this a few months ago. But there's a key difference between taking it to DMs so it can discussed constructively, and just laying into people in LOOC in the middle of a game in front of everyone, because you felt you were being ignored, which is a very common gripe that you have with people, and mainly me, or maybe there was another occurrence that made you upset. No one likes being put on blast, and people also don't like seeing people be put on blast, but doing it in game through LOOC is a very quick way to sour the mood for everyone involved, and not just the people you have issues with, but everyone else. It leads to situations where it feels like, when I am speaking to you in game, I am always walking on eggshells and that ONE slip up is enough for me to get chewed out over in front of everyone, and this has happened, and very recently at that and I'd like to provide that as an example here...
When I was HoS on Atlas, we had two Sec Assistants that joined in quick succession of one another. One of them was you on a character I was not immediately familiar with, and I did not know this at the time. Naturally, I assumed that you were a new player to Sec, so I asked you what your experience with Sec was so I could plan out either a mentor plan to show you the ropes and then partner you up with a Sec Officer so you could shadow them, or let you loose to do what you want, either would have been your decision to make. But you said you'd been around for a few days now so you knew some stuff, and I was happy to see how enthusiastic you were to do things, and keep in mind at this time I still didn't know it was you playing this character. So I decided to have a little fun and put you and the other assistant on ticket duty, where I asked you to ticket anything that was even remotely illegal. This is because I felt this would lead you into some funny RP situations with other members of the crew and lead to some fun half-hearted conflict that no one would actually take all that seriously. I let you loose after chatting with you for a bit and getting to know your character, you did your things and eventually you ended up willingly signing a Chaplain contract, which is perfectly fine to do!
As the round progressed, things went from so chill that I had the chance to sit and talk in Sec with another member of Security regarding their backstory and learn a little more about their character, to a million things happening at once. It went from 0 people in the brig with no crimes reported, to 2 people in the brig with multiple crimes reported and it got out of hand fast. Mine, and the rest of Sec's focus was on the brigged people to make sure they were treated fairly, and a full investigation was performed. This is where I dedicated my attention, but during this, you were talking over everyone and me while we were trying to process two people, on the TINY Atlas Sec HQ with nowhere to move. You were referring to the Chaplain contract, the MD having a Katana, and not being able to legally do anything in this investigation due to being legally biased, as one of the people we had brigged had murdered the Chaplain, which you yourself had ties to. It got so chaotic, I had to call in the NTSO to give me some assistance. Earlier in the round, you were also referring to legal procedure and the fact that no one in Sec has a Legal Degree, but I didn't respond to this, not because I wasn't interested or was ignoring you, but because I had no idea how to RP in this situation, and I was also thinking of other things ongoing in the round. I took FULL NOTICE of what you were saying, and my plan was, after the two people we had brigged were processed and released, to confront you and ask you about these matters so we could further escalate the RP.
Maybe I made a mistake not letting it known that you were heard, and I'm sorry, but we didn't even get the chance to escalate the RP in good faith, because you then just started chewing me out in LOOC for ignoring you in front of most of Sec and the brigged prisoners, which is then when I knew that it was you playing this Sec Assistant, and given our history of me getting chewed out for ignoring you despite that never EVER being my intent, my heart just sank seeing as how, despite me doing everything in my power to make your round enjoyable as a Sec Assistant, I had slipped up, broken those eggshells, and now I was getting chewed out publicly, and the round was immediately soured for me, and I had to cryo because I simply did not want to play in the round anymore and have my soured attitude ruin other peoples experiences.
I'll be honest, I'm concerned. I'm concerned that if you get HoS, you will let someone in Sec get to you on a personal level, and will then proceed to put them on blast in LOOC or on Discord after the fact, and potentially dissuade people from picking Sec when you're HoS, or at worse, picking Sec ever again. If I were to recommend you as HoS, I need to be confident that you wont register things on a personal level. No one is intentionally negative to your characters because they know that you are playing as them, and no one is intentionally ignoring your characters because they know you are playing as them. The flow of each SS13 round is unique, and bad circumstances are sometimes unavoidable and someone will leave said bad circumstances feeling more bitter than the other. But after this bad circumstance has passed, it needs to be deescalated so the round can get back on track, and as HoS you are someone with immense power, and you need to be able to recognise when a situation is going bad and stop it, and how to deescalate it to keep folks happy and in high spirits. Putting someone on blast in LOOC or after the fact on Discord is not deescalation. What it does is it turns the situation from an IC dispute, to an OOC dispute, and that is the worst thing you can get from these situations.
In order for me to recommend you as HoS, I need to see that you can be "emotionally robust" enough to not let personal issues get in the way of your judgement, and to not let personal issues further escalate conflict into OOC disputes. If OOC disputes happen, it is yet even more important to try and deescalate those. It is important to hold no grudges that could potentially effect attitude towards someone in future rounds.
Overcome this, and we will potentially have a recommendation on our hands, but right now with all things considered, and all experiences put into play, I cannot recommend you as a Head of Security.
This is going to be a -1 from me.
I want to preface this by saying that I do stand mostly fully behind what I said on your Mentor App. I do think you are a very insightful person with a big presence overall. Your contributions to this game through the Wiki, through PRs on GitHub, and your willingness to be attentive to most threads on the forum are all really great and that is why I recommended you for Mentor. That's all well and good, but we're talking about Security here, and this is where the problems set in...
I'm just going to say it straight out and I'm sorry if this seems insensitive because that is not my intent, but I simply enjoy my time less as Security when I am on a team with you because it feels like I am constantly walking on eggshells. I am echoing what Jan said more or less while adding my own thoughts and experiences, but while you are insightful, you are very critical of others and can take things very personally, and you make this criticism known either through constructive means on Forum posts, which is fine, but more commonly through LOOC ingame, or passive aggressively on Discord after a round has ended. Both of those, I personally, have been on the receiving ends of. When I screw up, I want to know about it so I can improve, and I told you this a few months ago. But there's a key difference between taking it to DMs so it can discussed constructively, and just laying into people in LOOC in the middle of a game in front of everyone, because you felt you were being ignored, which is a very common gripe that you have with people, and mainly me, or maybe there was another occurrence that made you upset. No one likes being put on blast, and people also don't like seeing people be put on blast, but doing it in game through LOOC is a very quick way to sour the mood for everyone involved, and not just the people you have issues with, but everyone else. It leads to situations where it feels like, when I am speaking to you in game, I am always walking on eggshells and that ONE slip up is enough for me to get chewed out over in front of everyone, and this has happened, and very recently at that and I'd like to provide that as an example here...
When I was HoS on Atlas, we had two Sec Assistants that joined in quick succession of one another. One of them was you on a character I was not immediately familiar with, and I did not know this at the time. Naturally, I assumed that you were a new player to Sec, so I asked you what your experience with Sec was so I could plan out either a mentor plan to show you the ropes and then partner you up with a Sec Officer so you could shadow them, or let you loose to do what you want, either would have been your decision to make. But you said you'd been around for a few days now so you knew some stuff, and I was happy to see how enthusiastic you were to do things, and keep in mind at this time I still didn't know it was you playing this character. So I decided to have a little fun and put you and the other assistant on ticket duty, where I asked you to ticket anything that was even remotely illegal. This is because I felt this would lead you into some funny RP situations with other members of the crew and lead to some fun half-hearted conflict that no one would actually take all that seriously. I let you loose after chatting with you for a bit and getting to know your character, you did your things and eventually you ended up willingly signing a Chaplain contract, which is perfectly fine to do!
As the round progressed, things went from so chill that I had the chance to sit and talk in Sec with another member of Security regarding their backstory and learn a little more about their character, to a million things happening at once. It went from 0 people in the brig with no crimes reported, to 2 people in the brig with multiple crimes reported and it got out of hand fast. Mine, and the rest of Sec's focus was on the brigged people to make sure they were treated fairly, and a full investigation was performed. This is where I dedicated my attention, but during this, you were talking over everyone and me while we were trying to process two people, on the TINY Atlas Sec HQ with nowhere to move. You were referring to the Chaplain contract, the MD having a Katana, and not being able to legally do anything in this investigation due to being legally biased, as one of the people we had brigged had murdered the Chaplain, which you yourself had ties to. It got so chaotic, I had to call in the NTSO to give me some assistance. Earlier in the round, you were also referring to legal procedure and the fact that no one in Sec has a Legal Degree, but I didn't respond to this, not because I wasn't interested or was ignoring you, but because I had no idea how to RP in this situation, and I was also thinking of other things ongoing in the round. I took FULL NOTICE of what you were saying, and my plan was, after the two people we had brigged were processed and released, to confront you and ask you about these matters so we could further escalate the RP.
Maybe I made a mistake not letting it known that you were heard, and I'm sorry, but we didn't even get the chance to escalate the RP in good faith, because you then just started chewing me out in LOOC for ignoring you in front of most of Sec and the brigged prisoners, which is then when I knew that it was you playing this Sec Assistant, and given our history of me getting chewed out for ignoring you despite that never EVER being my intent, my heart just sank seeing as how, despite me doing everything in my power to make your round enjoyable as a Sec Assistant, I had slipped up, broken those eggshells, and now I was getting chewed out publicly, and the round was immediately soured for me, and I had to cryo because I simply did not want to play in the round anymore and have my soured attitude ruin other peoples experiences.
I'll be honest, I'm concerned. I'm concerned that if you get HoS, you will let someone in Sec get to you on a personal level, and will then proceed to put them on blast in LOOC or on Discord after the fact, and potentially dissuade people from picking Sec when you're HoS, or at worse, picking Sec ever again. If I were to recommend you as HoS, I need to be confident that you wont register things on a personal level. No one is intentionally negative to your characters because they know that you are playing as them, and no one is intentionally ignoring your characters because they know you are playing as them. The flow of each SS13 round is unique, and bad circumstances are sometimes unavoidable and someone will leave said bad circumstances feeling more bitter than the other. But after this bad circumstance has passed, it needs to be deescalated so the round can get back on track, and as HoS you are someone with immense power, and you need to be able to recognise when a situation is going bad and stop it, and how to deescalate it to keep folks happy and in high spirits. Putting someone on blast in LOOC or after the fact on Discord is not deescalation. What it does is it turns the situation from an IC dispute, to an OOC dispute, and that is the worst thing you can get from these situations.
In order for me to recommend you as HoS, I need to see that you can be "emotionally robust" enough to not let personal issues get in the way of your judgement, and to not let personal issues further escalate conflict into OOC disputes. If OOC disputes happen, it is yet even more important to try and deescalate those. It is important to hold no grudges that could potentially effect attitude towards someone in future rounds.
Overcome this, and we will potentially have a recommendation on our hands, but right now with all things considered, and all experiences put into play, I cannot recommend you as a Head of Security.