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Caique The Clown's Thesis
#1
Usual Clown name: Caique the Clown
BYOND username: Varali
Recommended by (if applicable): Caique the Clown (as Johnny Nanotrasen), Caique the Clown (as John Bill), Caique the Clown (as Heisenbee)
Goon servers you play: RP Overflow and RP 1

Clowning Experience: 

When I joined Goon I had the intention of learning and being competent at every role. Yes, that includes clown! With my nerd glasses on, literally all the wiki pages open on five monitors and Mentorhelp on speed dial, I set out into the harsh life of a clown. Honking, tripping and mousetrapping people, Caique worked his way up from the bottom, slipping up the Clown ladder to victory. With each banana peel he got more devious with his pranks, with each stunbaton beating he got more silly in his escapades and with every death there came a new Caique, determined to die in a funnier way next time. 

The batonmen ticketed me, beat me and abused me, but Caique loves them all the same. They're simply doing their job and Caique is doing his! Eventually Caique was a favorite of the crew, honking his way into the crews hearts, but that only gave Caique more power! Twist and turn the knife, for Caique has no problems pranking his friends now that he knows they won't beat him for it! 


Answer one or more of the following:

 ? What advice would you give to other Clowns?

 1. Fool the law! 
Carry a book of Space Law around. Convince the batonmen you aren't actually doing anything wrong. Trespassing in Security? Technically you're there spiritually and religious voyages are exempt! When in doubt, make up laws and wave the book around. After all, who's reading that junk, batonmen? Ha! Funny joke!

 2. Don't break the law! 
Only heavily stretch and stress test it! Make sure the batonmen are up and about, doing their jobs! But don't actually break it, breaking the law would require it to be fixed again and it usually involves your mask getting stolen by the batonmen after a disciplinary beating or two.

 3. Break the law! 
Even if it costs your life and mask, make sure to make someone laugh! Attempt to do all the crimes, but very badly and in a clown way! Of course, harming people and killing people is a big no-no, but to get a laugh we must do all we can. Make mistakes! Shout out your plans over radio! Be incompetent! Anything to make the crew think "Haha, that clown sure is silly and bad at crime!".

 4. BREAK THE LAW! 
Now that you've convinced the crew you're a silly clown who is incompetent at crime, wait until your moment to strike. BAM! You're an antagonist! Strike fear into their hearts! Who are they going to suspect for the mass lubing? The clown? But he doesn't even know where Chemistry is! The Captain is dead and a balloon was left on his corpse? Now, definitely not the clown, after all he barely knows how to fight a fish! And when the time is right, reveal your secret! Honk, it was me all along! And then get gunned down trying to kill the HoS with a fish, for that is very funny.
 

 ? What was one of your favorite Clown moments? (Either playing as a Clown or interacting with one)
 If anyone has inspired me the most, it is Tooty, the clown of dreams and nightmares. An incredible clown and incredible criminal clown. He has shown me the ridiculous things you can do and how to do them in funny ways. There are far too many funny moments with Tooty, but it'd be an understatement to deny his clown influence. 
 

Answer one or more of the following fun questions:

 ? Suggest a new clowning tool or gadget (i.e. bike horn, canned laughter)
 Honestly, I'd just love some custom suicides for clown suits, clown masks, bike horns, bananas and other clown items. There's nothing funnier than a well-timed clown gib after being headpat!
 

 ? What's a prank or gimmick that you've always wanted to pull off?
 Disguising myself as someone or something, but very badly and refusing to give up the act. Keep it up with extreme effort. Convince the crew to play along. Become known as a new person, something absurd like a nanotrasen floortile counter. And then on the shuttle, REVEAL THE TWIST! I was actually the clown all along, you're all going to jail!
 

 ? Draw a picture!
Picture of a caique in a funny hat. Not to be confused with Caique the Clown in a funny hat.
[Image: GMsszwX.png]
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#2
+1

this support is definitely not because i have a raven pointing a gun at me, that'd be ridiculous. caique is very trustworthy, intelligent, and knows how to perfectly execute a honk.

again, i am *not* in danger at all, so you don't have to send help, because there is DEFINITELY NOT a gun against my he- oh it's a russian revolver nevermind we're all good
Reply
#3
-1

Caique is a danger to us all. There's dark knowledge behind those cute beady eyes, and they yearn for a chance, an opportunity to reveal itself so Caique can strike. Please, turn back now before Caique does evil. Caique doesn't want to hurt anymore anymore.
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