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Clown Application - Enfaeutchie
#1
Usual Clown name: N/A
BYOND username: Enfaeutchie
Recommended by (if applicable): N/A
Goon servers you play: I do

Clown Experience:
Answer one or more of the following:
 ? What advice would you give to other Clowns?
 I have only very vague memories of my early experiences with clowns. Certainly, we went to the circus when it came to town - the big top was always impressive, though I was so small at the time that I have to wonder if I would be so impressed today. As time went on after that I saw them very rarely, only encountering them when they made balloon animals at the North and West Shows. I should clarify: Here in Guernsey we have two yearly festivals, the North Show and the West Show. They both consist of merriment, fun fair rides, and competitions for baking, crafts, lifestock, artwork - the works, really. I once entered my Guernsey biscuits into the baking section, but failed to win an award; however, I have hopes for my next attempt: If nothing else, I could dominate in the white bread category. Quite a poor standard. They're good old Guernsey institutions, nonetheless, like complaining about road closures, or the Clameur de Haro, which I believe bears further discussion for the record: If at any time your property rights are being infringed, and the property on which it is occurring has been your possession for a year and a day, it is your ancient and inalienable right, as dictated by the Norman customary laws of the old duchy, to get upon your knees at that place in front of the accused infringer and two witnesses, whereupon you cry:
 "Haro, haro, haro! À l'aide, mon prince, on me fait tort!"
 Followed by the Lord's Prayer in French, and a Grace, which is not done in Jersey, but is obligated in Guernsey. If you are in Sark, that other pleasant part of the Bailiwick, there is a different cry:
 "Haro, haro, haro! Au nom de Dieu et de la Reine, laissez ce travail!"
 And they require also that the cryant have a bare head, else the Clameur is invalidated.
 Once this is performed, the accused must cease the activity in question immediately, and may not resume it until the matter has been resolved in court (previously either until then or after a year and day have passed), provided you formally lodge your complaint at the Greffier's Office, currently located at the Royal Court, I believe. Yet again, another good Norman institution: Her Majesty's Greffier is a vital office, keeping all manner of records for Guernsey. In Jersey, ineffective as usual, they have two. To illustrate the ineffectiveness, I recall a story: Until 1841, Jersey used the Louis, pre-revolutionary French coinage. However, they began to run out of usable coins! The decision was made to adopt the pound sterling; however, in a spectacular feat, they ended up with 13 pence to a shilling instead of the usual 12! This being so confusing, they decided something must be done: Instead of minting pennies, they instead minted 1/12 shilling coins. I suppose it worked, as they used this for about a hundred years until decimalization.
 Though I suppose we shouldn't forget the matter of "doing it as it's always been done"; I recall a story my mother tells me about a woman who always cut off the end of every cut of meat she ever roasted, as that was what her mother had done before her. One day they were both in the kitchen; "What are you doing that for?" asked the mother. "You always cut that bit off, so I do too." "I only cut it off because we couldn't fit a whole one in the oven!"
 There's also that lovely story that explains how the dimensions of the space shuttle were decided by horses: Each of the boosters for the shuttle had to be taken to be placed onto the shuttle via railway. This meant they had to fit into a width and height dictated by the tracks and tunnels. These were made in America to the same dimensions as they had been standardised to in England; these dimensions were chosen because they fit the dimensions of English roads; these roads were originally laid down by the Romans in their time, and they had standardised them all according to their needs: That a road should be able to accommodate the passage of chariots. And the dimensions of these chariots? The width of two horses' arses. Thus the space shuttle is modelled on equine behinds.
 This brings me back to Sark. Famously, Sark was Europe's last feudal state, retaining that method of governance until 2008; before that time, the Seigneur was the ruler of the island, with below him the Chief Pleas, an assembly of the 40 tenants who rented Sark's land, plus 12 elected Deputies. This may sound somewhat draconian, but, from what I know of Sark, tradition worked quite well - remember that they have a population of about 500, and I hope you'll agree that it's difficult to be a tyrant when half of your subjects have seen your baby pictures. This all changed when a couple of billionaire media magnates bought the tenancy of one of Sark's smaller sister-islands, and built there an appallingly garish castle. They were upset by Sark's inheritance laws, tax requirements, and lack of democracy to bribe and corrupt; they then successfully caused a ruckus with the European Court of Human Rights, which led to Sark's first true general election in 2008. In preparation, the aforementioned billionaires released their preferred candidates to win, saying that, if the "establishment" candidates were to win, they would have to reconsider their presence in the island. And so, when the people of Sark put two fingers up to that and voted for who they wanted, they promptly pulled all their business out, making 170 people redundant. Yes, two thirds of the island's population - they forcefully implemented democracy, then attempted to hold the island to ransom. Of course, Sark continued on without them, and a few months later they quietly reversed their closures when they saw their dirty tricks didn't work. An interesting case, anyway. Sark's doing quite well, last I heard, and operating a functional democracy - on their own terms.
 I feel like that represents just one dot on a timeline of people trying to do with the Channel Islands what works so well outside. Take our air transport industry: Originally, the only airline that really operated here was Aurigny, which was locally-owned, and gave cheap, regular flights to nearby airports, where you could then fly somewhere else. Simple, functional.
 Then a businessman came along and said that magic word: "Competition."
 Rival airline Blue Islands was founded. For a few years, competition did marvellous things: Aurigny and Blue Islands gave more and more flights to better and better destinations, with bonuses and free biscuits and all the works, and for cheaper and cheaper! It was great! A wonderful time for the island!
 Then they ran out of money.
 Which is natural; if you attempt to charge too little for too much, eventually you're running at a loss with no new business to attract. Apparently, neither of them had realised this, or were able to stop it: Aurigny was bailed out by the local government, and Blue Islands was bought up by the larger airline Flybe... which went under last month. Now air travel out of Guernsey is unreliable and prohibitively expensive. Such is competition.
 But it leads me to think: If that's how this functions on a small scale, what's to stop it on the large? How is an economy of competition sustainable when there's only so many corners to cut before the floor collapses and takes you with it? And regarding the billionaires earlier: If they approach Sark with blackmail, threats, these absurd demands, and they do so apparently effortlessly, what are people like them doing on the large scale? Think on that.
 Incidentally, "think on" is a term in some dialects for "remember". I have an immense fondness for dialects; I miss the days when the old Guernsey accent was more common. Or maybe it wasn't even then, and it's all nostalgia, like circuses and clowns.
 I recall reading very recently that clowns are not seen as scary in Japan - or outside of our culture, I think. I do wonder how that happened. Makes me wonder what other fears we take for granted but are more a matter of cultural transmission - or anything like that. Take metaphor, for instance; that which provides our ability to describe the world in terms beyond the concrete. We have a metaphor that describes time as something that goes "forward" - you go "back" in time, or "forward"; you look "ahead" to the future; etc. In the Chinese languages, however, time goes "down". Which seems absurd! But why not? It fits the bill. One-way travel, inexorable.
 Just banged my ankle on a table and now my foot feels kinda weird. Awkward.
 I feel like I'd like to learn some Mandarin, or another language of that family, but the writing system puts me off. Logographs! A straight-forward evolution of writing; as I'm given to understand it, writing has only been invented from scratch a very scarce few times, and usually in the same progression: First, people make pictographs, simple drawings of things that represent what they look like; those begin to take on more abstract meanings, and are often stylised beyond direct recognition, becoming re-purposed into more useful logographs; often these logographs are then recycled for their phonological properties, as in Japanese's kana or Cuneiform's syllabic signs, and languages may then become fully phonetically-written. For example, our own writing system descends from logographic Egyptian hieroglyphs: These glyphs went from being used to represent a unit of meaning each to a unit of sound each particularly the first consonant in each word. The Phoenicians were the first to fully develop this into a phonetic system, using the words in their own language, of the Semitic family, to decide on what consonant each symbol would represent. Note they had no vowel letters; these developed later. For example, the latter A was used to represent a glottal stop, ', written in the International Phonetic Alphabet as [ʔ] as the symbol represented an ox (a head that broadens towards the back, with a pair of horns - can you see it?) and the Phoenician word for that was "'ālep". This system was then adopted by the Greeks, and from there eventually reached the Romans, who gave us our current writing. The Phoenician alphabet (or "abjad", the term for an alphabet with few or no vowel letters) was also the origin of the similar systems used today for Hebrew and Arabic.
 As an aside, I mention that language has only been invented a few times; one of these was in an unknown part of Mesoamerica. There's a lot of culture there that gets forgotten. I'd like to learn more. The Aztecs, for instance, had a very well-established field of philosophy, yet I know almost nothing about it. Hell, I'd love to learn some of their language. A bit of Classical Nahuatl.
 My foot feels fine now. That's a relief.
 Do you think the Aztecs had clowns?
 Why should they?
 
 
 
 I guess I'd tell any new clowns to try and be funny.
 ? What was one of your favorite Clown moments? (Either playing as a Clown or interacting with one)
 When Tooty told me that a good clown should be smoking as many cigarettes as possible at all times - then the cigarettes he gave me blew up! Classic!

Answer one or more of the following fun questions:
 ? What's a prank or gimmick that you've always wanted to pull off?
 Gathering a group of spies, all disguising as the same enemy engineer, then uncloaking in the middle of his nest and yelling "spy!" at him all at once.
 You never said this had to be a prank in SS13, after all.
 ? Draw a picture!
[Image: 3XMQslt.png]
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