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BEAR ASS 2:Wrong Forum
#1
I had previously made a thread titled "BEAR ASS" but accidentally placed it in Sprites so I shall be moving it here with most of it's contents intact besides the ones that make me look styupid

BEAR ASS  space bear
You can already cut off bear arms and put them on for maiming capabilities butt despite bears being renown for their ability to "rip" I noticed that you can't surgically put on a bear's ass to replace yours after that incident involving Discount Dan's "Oops, just laxatives" breakfast cereal and a pre-clogged toilet.

What mystical powers might this horrid abummination grant you? Well to start off, fart messages would be replaced with ones along the lines of " Booty Biggerson's bear ass lets off a might roar!" or " Booty Mctooty's ass defends it's territory via scent. Ew." 

"But Wisecrack" you may assk, "What happens if I get the genetics butt power thingy?" Well if we go solely on my suggestions alone then I would propose that un empowered farts would simply force people to play dead (fall over) to protect themselves from bear attacks! If it IS empowered then I would suggest that you gain the ability to "rip" open doors via ability and do bear arm to people farted upon by thou (either as a targeted fuzzy ass blast or to anyone fallen over underneath you when you let one rip). I have more ideas for YETI ASS but those will be added once I get to my computer (currently using a bear ass atm). I love you all, bring back poo.


YETI ASS [Image: tumblr_mw49i4gl3L1qz4rlko1_500.gif](had to use image for this, plz add yeti gif to smiles)
Ahem, the YETI... such a sweet and innocent creature, filled with nothing but love and poor skiers. Naturally with many such cuddly creatures comes to mind, the most important one being "I WANT IT'S ASS"

Despite this not being a question and being rather rude, it is not incorrect (for he indeed does want "it's ass") and should, ass such, be taken very seriously. This is why I have come up with a suggestion for how the Yeti Ass should function.

First and foremost, this would require some editing of the yeti's code to include the ability to knock it over and to perform advanced surgery on it, allowing the Yeti's Ass to be removed along with it's other limbs (Which should also, by proxy, be attachable so yeti man can be made).  

After this change is made then a Yeti Ass should be made and added to the roster of asses currently available to the crew. The Yeti Ass would allow the user, upon farting, to knock over any nearby player similar to a failed jump from genetics, making an audible ouch for every character knocked down by this. Farting in front of doors would make the door permanently jammed open, along with doing tox damage to anyone farted atop of. You may be asking if this is the empowered version of this but no, unlike the bear, performing surgery on a yeti takes a lot of strength, both physically and mentally. The powers granted via yeti ass should more than pay for the trouble caused by trying to surgically remove the ass of a still moving yeti (Did I mention that Yeti Asses should not be removable after they die? Yeah they shouldn't be removable after they die, because watching surgery be performed on a living yeti sounds much more fun). You may be wondering what would happen if you were to say, in theory, add the fart mutation.

Things would go bad

VERY BAD

The geneticist modified Yeti Ass should grant the player the ability to, ahem, FART OUT SKI POLES FROM THEIR ASS TO IMPALE THEIR VICTIMS!!!

And if you gain the empowered trait whilst the ass is attached, then watch out because the Yeti Ass should also gain the ability to EAT PLAYERS ALIVE!!!!!!!!

YEAH, I'VE SEEN THE WAY YA'LL TALK ABOUT STEALING FROM VORE STAtION, LET'S CRANK THIS "SHIT" UP A NOTCH AND LET THIS ASS EAT YOU

SWEAR WORD!


This has been a transcription by Discount Dan's Forum Cleanup Gang, Yo; don't drink my milk  Boogiebot
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#2
Don't drink lamp oil, kids.
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#3
I'm not certain about what I read about the yeti's ass but it's a good idea.
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#4
I have been told that adding sprites makes it much more likely, here are some semi-poorly made mock ups

Bear Ass
[Image: 4kI358R.png]
Bear Ass Alt
[Image: d5S4sk0.png]
YETI ASS
https://i.imgur.com/gR4Mp58.gif
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#5
I know I like to make a lot of jokes about weird things and I made that ONE patch, but I swear to god.

The day I see someone eat another player with their ass on Goonstation, as a feature and not some bizarre admin fuckery, I am uninstalling BYOND.
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#6
Another option is that instead it causes them to propel a Ski-Pole out of their ass as a bullet
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